Speaking and Communicating Podcast

10 great things about someone she worked with me, things like because you're experienced, because you're hard working, because you really care, because you love people, because you're passionate, because you're fun, because you're funny, because you're available, because you're dedicated, because you have certifications and degrees.

But all those things I just mentioned are reasons for people to like you or respect you, but not reasons to give you money.

Welcome back to the Speaking and Communicating Podcast.

I am your host, Obert Angela.

If you are looking to improve your communication skills, both professionally and personally, this is the podcast you should be tuning into.

Communication and soft skills are crucial for your career growth and leadership development.

We are currently looking for professionals or entrepreneurs who would be willing to discuss their communication challenges on this show.

All the details of booking a spot with me are found on the show notes.

And by the end of this episode, please log on to Apple and Spotify and leave us a rating and a review.

Now let's get communicating with Brian K.

McNeill from North Carolina.

He is a sales confidence coach.

He is a best selling author and the best sales speaker.

Now Brian is going to ruffle a bit of favors today because he is here to talk to us about how the principle of know, like, and trust is killing your business.

And before I go any further, please help me welcome him to the show.

Hey, Brian.

Hey, Roberta.

Good job, my sister.

Thank you so much for saying that.

I'm fantastic.

How are you today?

I'm fantastic.

And tonight is going to be fun.

And tonight is going to be educational.

And tonight, I'm going to free some people from the shackles of this know, like, and trust.

We love freedom.

Yes.

Before all that controversy, because a lot of people are sitting on the edge of their seats thinking, what is he talking about?

I've always been taught that I need to know, like, and trust.

Yeah, let me help you, okay?

Before we get into that, please give us your background, where you grew up.

Thank you for saying that.

I am Brian K.

McNeill, the Sales Confidence Coach, and I've been helping people to sell themselves and their services better for about 30 years.

There's a reason why I have hundreds of testimonials and hundreds of reviews and recommendations of my services.

I am a six-time author, and actually I'm an award-winning author.

As of last month, I won a Distinguished Authors Guild award for one of my books.

I'm going to quickly show you my books.

I won't spend much time on it at all, but I want to show you the book so that you have an idea of my area of expertise.

I have been helping people to sell themselves and their services better since about 2010 the way I do it now.

But I'm the author of The Shortcut, The Fastest Route to Selling Your Services.

Only 74 pages.

This book here, What It Does, it teaches entrepreneurs what to do with their time.

What do you do with your Monday and your Tuesday and your Wednesday and your Thursday?

There are a lot of activities, Roberta, that entrepreneurs do during the course of a day that do not earn them any money.

And this book teaches them what to do so that they do earn money, but it doesn't cover closing sales or overcoming objections.

So to that end, I wrote, Asking for the Money.

This is an Amazon bestseller.

Asking for the Money.

How Anyone Can Close More Sales, Even You.

This book actually is now an audiobook as well.

But it teaches entrepreneurs what to do before they ask for the money.

What do you do when you ask for the money?

What do you do if there's a little resistance?

What do you do if there's a lot of resistance?

This book infuses the reader with confidence when it comes to closing the sale.

And I'm going to keep going.

I also wrote a not just for children's book called Why Rhinos Make Great Salespeople, featuring my character Mr.

Randall the Rhino.

But it runs a parallel between rhinoceroses and great salespeople, thick skins, determination, those kinds.

It's a very, very fun read, great reviews.

Then I upgraded that book to write Why Rhinos Make Great Entrepreneurs, also featuring Mr.

Randall the Rhino.

And the book that I just won an award for is my last book.

932, The Nine Most Important Words, Three Most Important Skills, and The Two Most Important Questions.

I think I was talking to you about this book when it was being published late last year.

But this book won an award, The Nine Most Important Words, The Three Most Important Skills, and The Two Most Important Questions.

Words like love and know and yes and courage and imagination, three most important skills, the ability to lead, the ability to communicate, and questions like who are you here to serve?

But these books, I'm very proud of them.

And I believe I have a word here that will help your audience.

That is absolutely amazing.

First of all, congratulations on winning an award for the book.

My pleasure.

And the fact that there seems to be this, oh yes, that's the award.

So if you're on YouTube, you can see it.

It looks like a smaller statue of an Oscar.

Yes, yes, a little bulb here.

I really like it.

I'm really happy to have it.

It's beautiful, Brian.

And that you just have this running theme, as you said, you've been helping people with sales since 2010.

There's this running theme of everything encompassing being successful in sales.

And we always say that no matter, even if you don't have a sales job, you are selling, whatever it is, wherever you are.

You are.

The oldest profession in history, the oldest profession in the Bible is selling.

The oldest profession.

Nothing happens until something is sold.

It's the most noble profession.

Actually, I'm about ready to launch.

Are you ready for me to go?

Before you go, a lot of us do not associate sales with nobility.

It's actually this word that gives us a bit of phobia.

We go, oh, I don't want to be sold.

If they're believers, in the tenets of the Bible, I'm going to help them to associate it with nobility.

Interesting.

And then what about non-believers of Christianity?

The principles will still be the principle.

They don't have to be believers.

I don't even label myself as Christian or anything.

I just call myself a believer.

Right.

Belief, which is when they talk about the conscious, subconscious mind and the unconscious, it's about belief.

But yes, before we get into the Me Too Part brand, as I said earlier, what is it about the word sales that makes everyone stand up and go, ooh, not me.

Well, at one time, like when I have an audience in front of me, I will do this game, and I always enjoy it.

I'll say, are there any women in this room that consider themselves single?

And there'll be a smattering of hands that go up.

Okay, right.

They consider themselves single.

And I say, okay, ladies, I got this guy.

I want to introduce you to.

And he's a salesman type.

Now, with just that little bit of description, what do you think about this guy?

Is your image of him going to be positive or more negative?

I'm looking at your face, my sister.

You got your eyebrows furrowed and up and looking around.

I didn't tell you what he looks like.

I didn't tell you about any of his qualities.

All I said was salesman type.

Now, I don't know you well enough to know what your looks meant.

What did it take you to?

The miniature salesman type, it almost sounds like he's a smooth talker.

See?

I'm not sure if he's going to be genuinely showing me his true self or he's going to say what he thinks I want to hear in order for me to date him.

Listen to that, what you just said.

You're not already questioning.

I'm not sure if he's going to tell me what's real or is he just going to say what he wants me to hear because you don't associate it with something more positive.

And that's hurting your ability to sell because your subconscious mind is not going to let you do things that you consider distasteful.

But salespeople over time earned that reputation because at one time in this country, salespeople had the advantage over the consumers.

And the consumers had the hope they found an honest salesman.

At one time, the salespeople knew what the real costs were, what they really do and all that, and the consumers did it.

So they could say and do anything, and they got that negative reputation.

Used car salesmen, aluminum siding salespeople, some of the movies, Death of a Salesman, you know, and all those sad tech depictions of salespeople in the movies, shysters and not making any money.

All that stuff has gotten into people's psyche.

But what happened was the pendulum swung in Kansas country, where people didn't want anybody to see them the negative way.

So they would do anything not to come across as a salesman.

They wouldn't even ask for business.

And that's the challenge when entrepreneurs today.

They won't even ask for business for fear of coming across as salesy as if that's a bad thing.

Around the 90s though, around the 90s with the proliferation of cell phones and Google and people waiting to look up stuff right in that person's face, no salesperson since about the mid 90s can get away with being a liar because everybody can check them out.

At one time, salespeople had the advantage over consumers, but today they do not.

Very often the people that you're offering your services to or your products to, they know as much as you do, if not more, or they can Google it right there.

They can Google it or YouTube it or search it, and they know a lot more.

Think about this, Roberta.

You were grown up.

You're out in the marketplace.

When was the last time a salesperson tried to bully you into buying anything?

To bully me?

Yeah, or trick you.

You probably haven't seen that in years.

Not personally.

On LinkedIn, we're starting to see a bit of a trend, and I've mentioned this on my previous episode.

Well, the trend on LinkedIn is the AI-generated offers and the AI-generated stuff.

But I will tell you, most adults, if I ask you to really think about it, when was the last time you've seen any...

You actually saw that person.

The reason why you can't think of it real quickly, even you had to...

well, not personally, it was because that kind of salesperson, that dishonest, that pushy, that trickster, that back-slapping, joke-telling guy has died like a dinosaur.

They're extinct now.

They're not in existence anymore.

Because people can check you out so easily, the salesperson today has got to be the most honest person in the room, because they can't get away with anything anymore.

That's what they're doing.

Exactly.

Reviews.

You don't even watch a movie on Netflix anymore without checking out the reviews.

We don't buy a book without checking out the reviews.

We don't go to new restaurants without checking out the reviews.

Reviews, recommendations, testimonials.

I'm a cigar smoker and I have a cigar smoker.

I always read the reviews of the cigars I'm going to purchase if I haven't had a personal experience myself.

So you're exactly right.

People check each other out, especially in business.

I think it's vain for you, a business person.

It's vanity for an entrepreneur or a salesperson to call on a client that you haven't researched, that you haven't checked out, that you haven't seen all the things that others have said about them.

That's the game today.

You're going to be reviewed.

You're going to be recommended.

And if you don't have a lot of good reviews, you have a much less percentage chance of earning anyone's business.

I can say anything to Roberta, but she don't have to believe it.

But if I let her know, look, Roberta, here on my LinkedIn, I have over 100 recommendations of my services.

I've got hundreds of them that I could show you.

I almost dare someone say, do you have any recommendations or testimonials?

I'll send them 10 pages of them.

Right, because there are other people who have experienced your services, and they can say that, like you said, like going to a restaurant, I've eaten this food, it's amazing, delicious.

You can go there too if you like steak.

Or the opposite.

And if they didn't like it, they will tell you, stay away from them.

If the person that seats you was rude, the food don't taste good anymore.

Okay?

And that's what happens.

And here's what it's caused, River.

It's caused a nation of wimpy entrepreneurs and wimpy salespeople.

They won't even ask for business at all because they don't want to risk being liked.

That's the challenge.

They don't want to risk being liked.

I did a webinar just last night.

I've done it lots and lots of time.

The seven reasons why people will enthusiastically hire you, why they will work with you, and of the seven reasons why people enthusiastically and historically want to work with you, how much they like you is not even in the top seven.

It's not even in the top seven reasons why they will.

I do this example.

I did it last night.

I want you to do it mentally.

I have them take out a sheet of paper, a number from one to ten, and I take out my clock, my cell phone, and my phone, and I say, when I say go, I want you to write down ten great reasons why someone should hire you and your services.

Ten great reasons why someone should hire you and your services.

And I stress, I say you first because you're a part of what you offer the world, Roberta.

You're the biggest part of what you offer the world.

And then I say go, and then I let the clock tick, and I'm talking to them while they're working, and then it worked out last night.

I had about 15 people in the room last night, and I said, okay, good.

Everybody did theirs, okay?

And I said, now, you just raise your hand if you have any of these things on your list.

Ten great reasons why someone should work with me.

Things like because you're experienced, because you're hardworking, because you really care, because you love people, because you're passionate, because you're fun, because you're funny, because you're available, because you're dedicated, because you have certifications and degrees.

I'll name a few more.

But all those things I just mentioned, all of those are reasons for people to like you or respect you, but not reasons to give you money.

None of those are reasons for people to give you money.

All of those things I mentioned, how experienced you are, hardworking you are, passionate you are, fun, funny, nice, helpful, available.

All those are things that make people like you or respect you or maybe even admire you, but not hire you.

Consider this.

Is that similar to when they say people don't care that you're a PhD, that you excel in this and you have that certification, and that you are so good at what you do?

They just don't care.

Well, here's how they hear that.

They say, great for you.

That's good for you.

I'm proud of you that you did that.

Now, unless you can articulate how your PhD is a tangible benefit to me, it's not a reason to work with you.

It's just something to appreciate about you.

That's all good for you.

It's not something to give you money for.

There's no reason to.

Consider this.

There's a lot of people that you know that are in business and that you like that are in business, and you've never done business with them.

There's a lot of people that know and like you, and they like you a lot, but they've never done business with you.

Why not?

Because they don't yet have a reason to.

They know what Roberta does.

You know what that person does, but you've not done business with them, even though you like them.

No one is going to give you money just because they like you.

How much they like you is not enough of a reason to do business with you.

How good I am in my art, service, whatever it is, is still not a good enough reason to give you money.

I'll tell you why they will say yes to you, if you like.

But how good you are is something that people will appreciate about you.

You know, she's really good.

Have you ever worked with her?

No, but she's really, really good.

And that they walk away.

I will applaud you.

I will save you a seat, because I respect what you've done.

But I'm not giving you money, because you haven't articulated why that's a reason to.

For example, someone who has earned a degree or a doctorate or they got all these certifications.

I've done this, this, and this, and I got a certification.

Great.

Now, if they were to say, because I have these certifications, because I have this degree, I can help you and make sure that you don't make expensive mistakes or I can make the process easier for you, or I could save you some money on the process.

Now, it's a tangible benefit.

What you've done, if you can't add a tangible benefit to it, it's not a reason to say yes to you.

How do I establish, with all these assets, my Ph.D.

I'm good at this, I'm good at that, how do I establish what, how to craft that benefit for you?

Like, what is in your mind that you will see as a benefit, and how do I then enable to sort of decide what it is?

I'm about to really bless your audience there.

We are happy you will.

Take out your pad and pencil, because this is going to be right.

So if there was someone here writing stuff down, I would have them write down these seven words, or seven phrases.

Like the first one will be time.

Is there any part of your services that will save a client some time?

Or are there any results that they'll be able to achieve faster as a result of working with you?

If you can help them to achieve a result faster, or to save some time in another way, that is a good reason to give you money.

It's time.

And people enthusiastically want to give money to save some time or achieve a result faster.

If you're wanting a global audience or introduce a new book or to introduce your service, new service, if you work with Roberta because she has an established audience, you can connect with that audience much faster with her help than without her help.

Roberta's going to help them to achieve and result faster.

Not the fact that you have a platform, but the fact that you're going to help them achieve a result faster or save them time at another rate, that's a reason to give you money.

It's all of these people that are saying these things about, when I'm this and I'm that, they're what's called almosts, almosts.

They don't give you enough that you want to give them money, but they're almost there.

They just have to learn how to add selling language.

That's all.

Time, the next one would be money.

Money.

This happens in a few ways.

People want to give their money to the person or the thing.

The person or the thing that they believe will help them to either save some money or earn more money or both.

Now does your service do any of that for your clients?

Does your service help your clients to either save some money or earn more money or both?

Because if it does do any of that, you should talk about that.

Because that's a reason to give you money.

I'm going to save them some money because they won't be wasting their money chasing shiny objects, or spending their money on things that don't work.

I'm going to help them to earn more money because I'm going to teach them how to ask for the money.

Is there any part of your services that will help your clients to either save some money, earn more money, or both?

You should talk about that too, because that is a good reason to give you money.

Yes.

If you're going to save me money and make me make more, yes, I will pay you.

Or either or both.

That's a reason to hire you if they can understand how they will be able to save some money with your help.

If you can't articulate that, that's not a good reason to work with you.

Time and money are the first two reasons.

See, the problem with no like and trust, I need to say it.

First off, people do business with people that they know, like, and trust.

It's normally said to you by someone that's really, really well intentioned.

They've heard it, and it makes sense to them.

People do business with people that they know, like, and trust.

What it does is actually is it puts people in friend zones, okay?

In your friend, they're your bud, they've missed their opportunity.

There's no more chance for romance.

They're in a friend zone.

Like the salesman guy, they don't have a chance.

Yeah, they're done.

Okay, so here's what it is.

First, the problem, first problem with it is it's an abbreviation.

Okay, it's not the real thing.

The No Liking Trust is an abbreviation of the original Greek formula, which says people must like you before they can listen to you, and they must listen to you before they can trust you, and they must trust you before they can buy from you.

The reason why it's gotten twisted around is because the liking part.

They have to like you just enough to hear your story.

They do not have to like you enough to put you in their weddings, okay?

They don't have to like you so much.

Entrepreneurs today want to be.

But I'm gonna continue on, okay?

So time, money, good feelings is the third ones.

People want to spend their money with the people and the things that help them to either feel better about themselves right now.

Can you help them feel better about themselves now?

Or can you help them to imagine other people having a higher opinion of them?

Me being on Roberta and Della's show is going to have, is very likely someone else is going to have a higher opinion of me, because if they check me out, which they're gonna do, they're gonna see that I'm on Roberta and Della's show.

Brian, I know you was bad, but I didn't know you was on Roberta's show.

That makes me even better.

Right.

Roberta's show, do you have some cachet?

Okay, so that makes me feel good.

Okay, so I can imagine it boosting my cachet.

You know, I'm getting some of her reflected light.

People's opinion of others, people's opinion of you is elevated because they see you in a certain space.

No doubt, yes, yes.

Or a certain association, people that you're around, certainly.

Sorry, Brian, to interrupt you.

So if you provide that, if you are the space or the association that will make the other person be seen, the opinion of others will be higher.

And that's something that people want to spend money on.

They want to.

That's something that people enthusiastically want to spend money on.

Can you help them to feel better about themselves, even if they've been messing it up up until this point?

The entrepreneur that can help them understand that yesterday ended last night.

I know you've never saved any money or did anything smart with your money up until now, but I'm going to rescue you and take you from where you are to where you're wanting to go.

Well, I know you haven't done this well, but that's okay.

Yesterday ended last night.

I have a way to help us from this point forward.

Help them to feel better about themselves now, or help them to imagine others having a higher opinion of them.

The 65-year-old man buying the red convertible sports car, he imagines he's going to look cool driving it.

With a 25-year-old girlfriend, yeah.

Even better, okay?

Higher opinion, yes.

But he also thinks that when you see him pull up in it, you're going to agree with his opinion.

He looks cool.

That's a reason why he would buy that.

It's probably not practical, but he might have needed that ego rub, you know?

Time, money, good feelings.

There's some more if you want me to keep going.

Please, we want all of them today.

All seven, yes.

The next one is solutions to a problem.

Solutions to a problem.

What is the big and obvious problem that's solved by you and your services?

The challenge with entrepreneurs today is they can solve more than one problem.

Sometimes they can solve a lot of problems.

And the more problems they solve and that they talk about, the less interesting they become and even the less credible.

What is the big and obvious problem that's solved by you and your services?

Because that's the germ you should bang.

But a lot of the entrepreneurs that would watch Roberta's broadcast, the problem that you're solving for your clients is because they cannot do it on their own.

I mean, they can do it with your help.

Okay?

I'm going to role play something with you.

Okay?

Oh, please, go.

All right.

So I want you to just look at my face, okay?

And I'm looking at your face.

I'm going to pay attention to your face, and you pay attention to my face, okay?

So Roberta, you know I'm a sales coach, and I help people to sell better.

And that's what I do.

I teach them how to sell.

But I've been doing this for over 30 years.

And with a lot of salespeople, not only am I good at teaching them how to sell, but I can also give them great counsel on how to be better teammates at work.

I can give great training on how to be a better coworker and teammates at work.

And because I'm so gifted with my eloquence and I can speak so well and train so well, I can give great dating advice, too.

I can show men how to pick up women, and I show women how to get men, too.

I can do that as well.

And also because I am married myself, I can also give great advice on how to handle your wife and have a loving relationship at home.

And because I've owned several homes, I can give great advice on how to manage your home.

And because I have children as well, I can give you advice also on how to raise your children better.

And because I have several vehicles, I can also give advice on how to fix your car, too.

Notice the more and more things I said I could do, the less interesting I became.

Notice how your face shaded over.

Your eyebrows started to be like, oh my God, really, he's not interesting anymore, right?

You know what?

It's not even just that you're less interesting.

It's the fact that I have forgotten the first few things you said you were going to help me with.

Isn't that interesting?

So you want to be known for something, not everything.

No, I mean, I know he started about something with sales.

Now he's like, why are we going with this?

Wow, she'd even forgotten the main point because I was crowding her mind with more and more stuff.

Stop doing that to your clients.

Stop doing that to your potential clients.

Do you think we do that sometimes, at least when we think, if I just show them I'm good at all these things, it's like throwing mud against the wall and something is going to...

Yes, it's not selling, it's hoping.

They're hoping that they'll keep talking and they'll hope that they'll land on something where the clients will say, hey, I'm interested.

And that's the other challenge too.

Entrepreneurs today, because they don't want to be...

fear of not being liked won't even ask for business.

They won't ask at all, Roberta.

What they do today is they'll do a great presentation.

Well, what I do is this, this, and this, and this, and I coach nd this and I provide that.

And then what they hope will happen is they hope that their potential clients will say, you know what, that sounds good.

I'm interested in it.

Can I hire you?

Today's typical entrepreneur is hoping that the clients will close themselves and they're just not gonna.

They're just not gonna.

They're not gonna do your work.

With regards to that, I was recently in a webinar, and I've been in a few where they will talk about their services and why we're here.

You know, we log on to the Zoom call and everybody.

And then at the end, the last slide is they will say, if you want to be part of this, this is the value that I bring.

They'll write all the dollar amounts, all the thousands, and then, but they'll say, go to my website, click on this link, go to my website in order to be part of this membership or whatever it is, where then you will see the dollar amount.

But it's like an invitation, but they don't say it fully.

Well, they gave you a homework assignment.

They gave you a homework assignment.

They wanted you to jump through some loops now to figure out on how you can buy instead of for them selling it to you.

So after that slide, what do you think, based on your recommendation, what should they have said to nda for us while on the Zoom call?

Yeah, they should have said this.

So after what we talked about, and here's what we proposed we can do for you, they should have said these words.

So will you give our services a try?

Will you give me a try?

Will you give our services a try?

Will you give us a try?

It's such a non-threatening way to ask for business.

In my live workshops, Roberta, I'll do this example.

I'll say, is there anyone here with some cash?

And there'll be a bunch of people with some cash.

I'll say, hold it up.

They'll hold up the cash.

I'll pick someone in the room.

I'll pick a woman in the room.

She'll come to the front of the room or come up on the stage.

She'll come on up on the stage.

She comes up on the stage.

I say, go ahead, hand me the money.

She hands me the money.

I say, get your body real, real close to mine so that your side is touching my side.

She puts her body right up on my side.

I say, put your arms around me.

She puts her arms around me.

I said, I'll squeeze me tight to you.

She squeezes me tight to her.

And I hold up and I say to the artist, okay, what is happening on this stage right now?

What's happening?

And they'll yell out some stuff.

And I say, what's actually happened is I got a pretty woman to come out of her chair, bring me money, and hug me in front of all you guys.

Is that what she was intending to do?

Is that what the woman was intending to do?

No, the woman was intending to do whatever I asked her to do.

That's why you have to ask.

Okay, I asked her to do stuff and she did it.

Okay, ask.

Today, most entrepreneurs think they have problems closing sales.

Most of the time, that's not true.

They have a problem asking for business.

They're not even making any offers for fear of not looking like a salesman.

They're trying to be liked so big, so they won't even ask for business at all.

Because they want to be liked.

Non-threatening.

Yeah.

Would you give us a try?

Would you give my services a try?

And it doesn't matter what they say.

Here's the other thing people don't understand.

Selling is a process.

It's not an event.

People who don't understand entrepreneurship, people who don't understand selling, they treat it as an event.

We're going to role play something else, Roberta.

You're minding your business, you're fine.

Let's say you decide, you've been out and about shopping or whatever, and you decide to just go into the restaurant bar, have a drink, and then head home.

You're not bothering anybody.

You just decide to go have a drink.

And I see you in there.

And I want you to just handle this however you would normally handle it.

So I'm walking up to Roberta and I said, hello, how are you?

I'm good, how are you?

Good, good, good.

My name is Brian.

Please tell me, what's your name?

I'm Roberta.

Nice to meet you, Brian.

Nice to meet you, Roberta.

Roberta, I think that you are lovely.

Let's get married.

Excuse me, what now?

I said, let's get married.

And you are again?

Brian.

Uh, is this...

Where's Ashton Kusher?

Am I being punk?

See what happened there?

There's no way that could be taken serious.

There's no way you could say yes to that.

You don't know enough about me.

You don't know if I have any redeeming qualities.

You don't know if I'm a good guy or a bad guy.

Okay, people who don't understand selling.

Or a government spy.

Yeah, you don't know if I'm a government spy or anything.

But people who don't understand selling, that's how they treat it.

Okay, when I showed them what I do, she didn't buy it.

So I'm, and then they leave and they never try again.

Okay, that's how they-

Okay, in this example, Brian, where do we jump the gun so much that it's almost like people don't know anything about us and we jump with the sale?

Can you give us a parallel?

But they jump the gun by hoping the person will say yes before they know enough to say yes.

She don't know if I solve any problems or not.

But when she, let's say for example, we had had a drink together, okay?

And we exchanged contact information.

And over the next several months, we had some dinners or time, and we had some fun together.

We got a chance to know each other, met each other's families, all of that.

And we're a couplehood.

Then it might be appropriate to ask for marriage.

But until then-

Yes, because they'll have information by then.

Yes.

And experiences.

Hmm.

So you're saying that the relationship building before the sale?

I'm saying yes.

The relationship building.

But in the selling process, the relationship part of it only has to be enough that they can hear what you're offering.

It's a little different thing, okay?

They have to hear it enough.

They have to know enough so that they could say yes.

If someone had experienced a small kitchen fire, okay?

And they was able to successfully put out the kitchen fire.

They have an experience with a kitchen fire.

And then someone comes along selling fire extinguishers door to door.

Now, they know what it was like to not have that fire extinguisher, okay?

That person could say, look, I want a fire extinguisher.

Sometimes things happen in homes.

There's an accident in a home.

Yes, I know what that means.

I know what that's like.

I want one, okay?

They have a reason to say yes.

They have a reason to say yes.

That person offering the fire extinguishers did not have to develop a relationship with them.

They did not have to be so light that they get invited to the cookout.

They had to be light enough to hear the story, but that's all they had to do.

This is the second time in this conversation you've mentioned the story.

They must know my story.

Yeah.

Then the question becomes, what is the key story, so to speak?

Because I think sometimes when we get told what's or when you get asked, what's your story?

We are not exactly sure.

Yeah.

I'm 48.

Can you imagine how many stories there are from my life?

We are not exactly sure.

I thought you and I had done this game before, this example before.

For the benefit of the listeners, I know, and I want you to do this again.

You want me to do it again?

Okay, good.

A lot of people are thinking, what exactly do you mean when it's, then we'll get to the part where people don't have a story.

Now, I say your story.

Your story is way more important and way better than any pitch.

Not only do I preach that KLT is killing your business, I preach and teach, don't pitch.

No pitches.

Okay?

Never pitch.

No, no.

Would you rather hear a pitch or a story?

Of course you want to hear a story.

Now, I'm going to ask Roberta four questions.

I'm going to ask her four questions, live speed.

This is a testament to your, really, your self-confidence, Roberta, that you're willing to do this live.

So, and I'm proud of you.

So, I'm going to ask her four questions.

Question number one, Roberta, for the sake of the audience, I want to put you in a scene.

If you were at a live networking event, and it was a good one, and you were having a good time there meeting cool people there, you've probably been to these things before.

And at this live networking event where you were having a good time, one of these cool people that you just met, said, Roberta, what do you do for a living?

In that scene, what do you say?

I'm a podcaster who helps people with their communication skills.

Gotcha.

She's a podcast that helps people with their communication skills.

That's question one.

Question number two.

Now, we're not in the network and giving any more, just you and I talking, okay?

Question number two is, Roberta, who do you believe would pay for your services?

Professionals who struggle at their job because they don't know how to present, and some of them, even the job itself might be a jeopardy if they don't know how to make presentations, and their bosses, some of them have threatened them.

Okay, that's question two.

Question number three, once these professionals that need to work with their communication and presentation skills, once they decide to hire you, and they pay you the money that you're asking, and they're taking your counsel, they're doing the things you tell them to do, what do you call those people?

I just said professionals.

What do you mean, what do I call them?

I call them my clients, the people that hire me.

Oh, okay, yes.

What do you call them?

All right, and then question number four of my series, so Roberta, what business would you say that you are in?

I'm in the coaching business.

You're in the coaching business.

Okay, now you all heard Roberta answer my four questions.

Now Roberta, I'm gonna pretend that I do the work that I understand that you're doing.

I'm pretending I'm doing your work, okay?

And I want you to ask me, what do I do for a living?

Hi, Brian, what do you do for a living?

Well, Roberta, you know how there are so many professionals that their income is directly related to how well they communicate, or they often have to do presentations, but they don't feel like they do it well, and it fills them with dread, and it hurts their income, and that frustrates them.

Right.

Well, what I do is actually make it easier for these professionals to communicate and present better.

And I do it through my coaching services as a presentations and communications expert, so that they can not only present with confidence and with power, but actually enjoy it and earn more money because of it.

Now, how was my answer?

Way better than mine.

Now, what I did, I took the four answers that she gave me, and I put them in a three-part story format.

The first part I did was, and when you asked me what I do for a living, I got you to agree on an easy to understand problem that's solved by my services.

I said, you know how there's, I said, you know how, which is an invitation to agree.

There's so many professionals that it's important to them how well they communicate, but they struggle with it or they're nervous about it.

And you understood that on a high level, so it was easy for you to nod your head in agreement.

I saw you agree, but then I even said, security even more.

I said, you know what I mean?

You said, yes, I do.

The moment you agree on the problem that I introduced, that is the moment that you have metaphorically taken me by the hand.

And now I can take you on a journey.

So I got you to agree on my problem that solved through my services.

And then I introduced myself as a solution.

I said, well, what I do is, and I basically just conveyed that I solved that problem through my services.

I help these professionals to communicate better with power through my services as a presentation and communication specialist.

I didn't tell how I do it.

I didn't tell my process.

I painted myself as if I'm the solutions to the problem.

I'm the answer to the question.

I'm the aspirin to the headache.

Brief, brief, brief.

The whole story took me less than 30 seconds.

And then I ended with tangible benefits.

I do all these things so that they can enjoy the process more, enjoy presenting more with power, and even earn more money.

I gave three powerful, tangible benefits, all less than 30 seconds.

Remember the first benefits you said, it's the saving of time and saving of money and making more money.

So you incorporated that in your answer.

Well, it was an easy fit for this particular profession, yes.

It was an easy fit.

I teach entrepreneurs, your communication, I teach selling.

The word sell, by the way, because you asked me about why is it noble?

The word sell is originally a Greek compound word coming from two words, sell and ye, which literally means to help.

It was a word that described the process of helping people to get the goods and services that they want.

This is going to be the only time I mentioned a scripture, but I'm going to mention one.

No, please, we're not against it.

We were just asking.

But it's Proverbs 11 and 26.

It says, the people curse the ones that withhold the grain.

They wish blessings upon the ones that will sell it.

Now, your grain is your intellectual property.

Your grain are the solutions that you have.

Your grain is the answer to the question that you offer.

And according to the Bible, if you won't sell it, curse is on you.

Because they're going to curse at you because they want the solutions you have, but you're being selfish, you're not even selling it.

But if you're willing to sell your answers, if you're willing to sell your solutions, if you're willing to sell your help, if you're willing to sell it, in exchange of something of value, in other words, money, bless you.

They're going to wish blessings upon you if you will sell it.

The sin of the desert is when you know where the water is, but you won't tell anyone else.

If you have a solution and you won't sell it, you are being selfish.

You're supposed to sell it.

You're supposed to.

And well, Brian, I don't know these people.

I don't know them.

They might not accept me.

Whatever the reason, I'm tired.

You're being selfish.

You're being selfish if your solution will help them.

It's gotta start there.

If you know what you offer helps people, then you owe it to them to sell it to them.

And if you won't, you are keeping your solution to yourself.

It's interesting that you say the origin of the word sell was actually to help.

Yes.

Because have you seen how a lot of coaching programs will say, I help entrepreneurs do such and such and such.

That's a much better way.

Every time, if you have a problem with the word sell, I don't, cause it's my game.

But if you have a challenge with the word sell, every time you can use the word sell, like for example, I sold the Joneses, I sold the Thompson, I sell more than anybody.

Replace the word sell and sold with help or helped or helping.

I helped the Joneses, I helped the Thompson, I helped more folks than anyone.

Replace sell and sold with help and help.

It fits beautifully every time, because that's how it's supposed to work.

I help people to earn more money.

I help people to expand their reach.

I help people to communicate better.

I help, I help, I help.

Time, money, good feelings, and solutions to a problem.

Right.

Solutions is what we were practicing.

Yes.

And there's three more.

Go ahead.

Next one is good health.

People want to spend their money on good health.

H-E-A-L-T-H, health.

Now I'll ask my entrepreneur friends watching this.

Is there any way that you and your services improves your client's health?

In any way.

Now for a lot of them, it will be obvious they're in the health and wellness industries.

But for a lot of entrepreneurs, the way they improve a client's health is this, Roberta.

They help that person to worry less or stress less.

If you let me help you, you won't have to worry about this nearly as much.

Lowering their worry, lowering their stress is a reason why people will pay you fast.

Lowering the anxiety.

Lowering the anxiety.

Every client you're going to call on or potential client, they all have very full plates already.

They already got places they got to be, responsibilities, people they got to take care of, people they got to pay, all the stuff they got to do.

And on top of that, they have all their worries and their stressors.

Now, if your work will help them to, if you can come along and take away some of their worries, take away some of their stressors, that's a reason to hire you.

You'll help them to worry less.

I've covered five of the reasons why people, historically and enthusiastically, want to give money, and I have not talked about like yet.

I've talked about time, money, good feelings, solutions to a problem, and good health.

Those are things that people want, that people want to spend their money on.

And we're waiting for two more, Brian.

Two more, I'll do them at the same time, okay?

Children and pets.

Children and pets.

If you offer something that will help a client when it comes to their children, or if you offer something that helps a client when it comes to their pets, Roberta, note now, you don't need all seven.

You only need one of these things.

You only need one, but as many of them as you have, the better.

You have four or five easily that I can think of.

I don't have stocks at PetSmart.

What are you talking about?

You don't need that.

You don't need six or seven.

You don't need them.

But I believe you help them.

If they want to connect with a bigger audience, I believe you help them do that faster in your business.

If they're wanting to earn more money or save money, I believe that you can position them as subject matter experts where they could potentially gain another client.

You can potentially help them to earn more money, Roberta.

So you have time and you have money already.

Good feelings.

Being on your stage is a prestigious thing, okay?

A higher opinion by others.

And others will have a higher opinion because in the times that you and I have talked, and tonight in particular, with the things that I've shared, with the conversations we've had, do you feel like you know enough that you'd be confident in recommending Brian to help a company sell better?

Of course.

Of course.

Even before today, yes.

Because we've had conversations, and I know your work and your books, even before this recording, if someone is in sales or anything related or needs help, I would know where to send them.

And Brian is the guy.

Yes, because the solution, as I said, the solution part, I know you've got that covered when it comes to sales.

A lot of people are sales averse.

Yes, yes.

Now, at any time in our relationship, and I'm really a good salesperson, I'm really good at teaching it, at any time in our relationship, did you ever feel like I was being pushy?

Did you ever feel that I was trying to trick you or to just say what you wanted to hear or anything like that?

No, first of all, to answer the question, it just sprung something in my mind.

You know how sometimes, especially with online sales, they say, this offer expires in the next hour, put your card in now.

You never do that.

I have never even seen you go that direction.

No, it's corny and it's not true, okay?

No one believes that.

The dumbest client, listen to me audience, the dumbest adult that you can ever meet can still tell if you're sincere or not.

You cannot fool anybody.

Don't even try.

Even if they don't know why they don't trust you, they'll have a reason enough not to trust.

You can't fool anybody.

Not only can you not fool them, you should not even say anything that you don't personally believe, okay?

Do you believe that I believe that selling is important?

Yes.

It should pour off of me, okay?

Because I love selling and I love teaching.

Your entire energy, aura, the excitement, the enthusiasm, as soon as you start talking about selling.

It's just like when a speaker is on stage.

Exactly, you light up.

Mm-hmm.

Is it possible, Roberta, that I'm tricking you by lighting up?

No.

I don't really mean it.

Is that possible?

There's no trick about it.

Hence, I'm explaining, in case somebody is not watching the YouTube video but are just listening to the audio, I bet they will feel the enthusiasm and energy that you really do light up when you talk about this.

Mm-hmm.

I think it's important.

It really comes from within, yes.

Yeah.

I think I'm here on this planet, and I'm supposed to help people to learn how to sell better so that they earn more money.

That's my mission.

I think I've been uniquely qualified and uniquely educated and uniquely have gone through enough fires that I'm supposed to teach people how to sell.

That's what I do through my Talks Home Platform, my books.

And really, Roberta, I think I'm the best at it.

And the reason why I think I'm the best at it because I'm willing to apply myself.

I am willing to continually learn, and I'm willing to share and make sure that it works.

And I'm competitive.

My only report card is that do my clients earn more money as a direct result of working with me?

That's how I look at it.

Exactly, but did you give us number seven?

I did, I did them together, children and pets.

Oh, okay, children and pets are number seven.

Yes, because sometimes the way you help a client when it comes to their children or pets is by freeing their time up, so that they can spend more time with their children or their pets, okay?

Well, okay, so that was six and seven, okay.

But you don't need all seven, you only need one, okay?

So let's go through them again one last time before we wrap up this conversation.

Time, is there any part of your services that will help a client to either save some time, or are there any results that they can achieve faster as a result of working with you?

If that's the case, you should talk about that, because that's the reason to do business with you.

Money, do you help your clients to either save some money, or earn more money, or both?

If that's the case, you should talk about that, because that's the reason to do business with you.

Good feelings, do you help your clients to feel better about themselves, like now?

Can you help them to imagine others having a higher opinion of them?

Either of those, or both.

That's the reason to do business with you.

When I asked you to do that game in the beginning, about right now, 10 great reasons, and I named all that stuff, because I'm hardworking, because I'm passionate, because I care, because I have a degree of all that kind of stuff, but that's what people seem to think.

Because people like me, they will like you.

No like and trust.

We've been taught that since birth, Brian.

Yeah, they're gonna.

And if you want to be known and liked and trusted, if that's what you want to do, you will get a lot of that, okay?

But do you want to be a help to your client, okay?

I want to be liked, you will be liked, but you're not gonna get no money.

Not the goal.

That's what's gonna happen.

If you're willing to do stuff for free a lot, you're gonna get a lot of opportunities to do it for free, but you ain't gonna get no money.

Why would anyone pay you for stuff you're doing for free?

I'm giving a lot of value tonight for free, but I didn't give you anything for free that I wasn't willing to.

I'm willing to teach people how to tell their story for free.

I'm willing to teach Roberta and her audience the seven reasons why people historically and enthusiastically want to give money.

I'm willing to do that tonight for free.

And somebody might be watching this, Roberta, at some point and say, wow, he's given all of that for free.

What if I hired him?

What more does he have?

I'm gonna say to you, you ain't heard nuttin yet.

The good stuff is coming from me.

I can teach you what to do on a Monday and a Tuesday and a Wednesday and a Thursday and a Friday to ensure that you gain new clients next month and the month after that.

The nuts and bolts of selling, what to do with your time, the not so sexy stuff.

But also the sexy stuff too.

Yes, and then number four, because we're reviewing just one last time, Brian.

It's time, money, good feeling, solutions to a problem, solutions to a problem.

What do you want to be known for?

What is the big and obvious problem that's solved by you and your services?

If you don't know what the big and obvious problem is, put some thought into that.

Number five is good health.

And for most of you, the way you improve their health is lowering their stress or worry.

Number six is children.

Number seven is pets.

There's seven reasons why people will say yes.

And isn't it interesting how much they like you?

It's not even on the list of seven.

Please give us the wording for asking for the self because a lot of people are-

This is the way I want your people to ask for the business.

I want them to say these words or variations of these words.

Will you give my services a try?

Will you give me a try?

Will you give my company a try?

Will you give me a try?

That's what I want you to say.

Showmanship matters too.

You should keep your face confidently expectant.

If they say this, it's gonna be $10,000.

If you're timid in asking for the business, if you're timid in telling your rates, they're gonna be timid in accepting it.

You should come across as if you're bragging on your rates, even if you're expensive.

You should deliver it confidently expectant because showmanship does matter.

If a man approached Roberta, you're Roberta, could you maybe, I mean, if you want to get something to eat, I mean, sometimes you might get hungry.

Could I take you to dinner?

Maybe dinner or lunch or anything.

Could I take you?

What's his probability of being successful?

Fall of confusion.

Very confusing guy.

But are you likely to say, yes, let's go to dinner together?

Like I said, fall of confusion.

I'm not even sure what I'm gonna say yes to.

Because there's just so much going on with him being so unsure whether it's dinner, whether it's lunch, whether I'm hungry, whether I'm full.

And one last thing, Brian, please do it again for us.

When you do the, you know how the scenario on how you present your offer.

It's three parts.

I'm gonna tell you what they are, but we don't have the time to go in and explain what each part is.

No, just the summary.

The first part is you know how, dot, dot, dot.

That's an invitation to agree.

And what you're doing is you're introducing an easy to understand and an easy to agree upon problem.

Get them to agree upon it.

The second part is, well, what I do is you introduce yourself as a solution.

You're not telling your process or none of that.

You're just saying that you solved that problem.

That's it.

And the third part is so that they can.

And then you just give one or two tangible benefits of it.

I told you what they were, but there's more that they need to understand about each one.

You need to talk with me to break it down.

I offer a free consultation to anyone that wants it.

Yes, please give us your website and your social media handles as well for the free consultation and also your book titles again.

Okay, well, the best way for folks to do it is just go to virtualsalesmgr.com.

That's my link tree.

I have a website, bryankmcneill.com, but virtualsalesmgr is like a link tree.

I mean, it's easy to get how to schedule with me, how to get my books, some descriptions of some stuff, some free stuff, virtualsalesmgr.com.

virtualsalesmgr.com is where you will get all of Brian K.

McNeill's details in order to schedule a free call and to get all the information and all the nuggets that he has shared with us today.

Brian, this has been so enjoyable and most importantly, very educational.

Thank you so much.

Thank you very much for saying so, Roberta.

And I'm a Brian K.

McNeill fan, and there's so much I'm gonna learn about sales after this show, so thank you very much.

Thank you for joining the Speaking and Communicating Podcast once again.

If you are willing to be on the show to discuss your communication challenges and see how we can help, please book a slot on my Calendly and the details are on the show notes.

We are so glad that you've joined us.

We have more special guests who will be sharing more leadership tips and strategies on this show in this month of February.

In addition to our first couple interview, who will be discussing the role that communication has played in their marriage.

So stay tuned for more episodes to come.