Speaking and Communicating Podcast

>> Speaker A: How are they making their buying decision and me being able to communicate with that other person based on their key values to get to the buying decision much more quickly because I'm addressing the needs that are their true needs, their desires, and I'm really touching in on what is most important to them.

>> Speaker B: Welcome back to the speaking and communicating podcast. I am your host, Roberta and Leila. If you are looking to improve your communication skills, both professionally and personally, this is the podcast you should be tuning into. Communication and soft skills, ah, are crucial for your career growth and leadership development. And by the end of this episode, please log on to Apple and Spotify. Leave us a rating and a review and what you'd like for us to discuss on this show.

Tanya White is a financial educator and coach from San Francisco

Now let's get communicating. Now let's get communicating with Tanya White, all the way from San Francisco. She is a financial educator and coach. And if you are like me, raised in the know the term biology as a school subject, which was one of my favorites. But she has a whole new idea when it comes to biology. And before I go any further, please help me welcome her to the show. Hi, Tanya.

>> Speaker A: Hello and thank you so much, Roberta. So glad to be here today.

>> Speaker B: Thank you for being here.

M is a financial educator and coach focusing on money and finances

Welcome to the show. Tell us a little bit about yourself.

>> Speaker A: Yes, so I am a financial educator and coach. Um, I do have that separate from my financial advisory practice as a financial advisor, which I look at a holistic view of money and finances. And on the education side of things, I really work primarily with women as we have a different relationship with money. Um, so part of it is around that relationship and helping to release some of the mindset and the baggage that we carry with us that oftentimes gets passed down generation to generation and everything that we see out in the media and in the world as well. And then also partnering that with through financial education, because there's a lot of misinformation out there that it can be confusing and it can be overwhelming. And a lot of women experience, um, anxiety, fear, judgment around the topic of money and finances. So it's really to empower women in each of those areas.

>> Speaker B: Somebody listening to this podcast especially might think, hey, wait a minute. They always talk about communication, and it sounds like this guest is more about finances. What would you say is the relationship between the two?

>> Speaker A: Yeah, I mean, definitely how we do anything in our life. There's the communication aspect of all aspects of our life. So if we are working a nine to five job or whatever hours that may be working for someone else, communication is very key in how we are able to relate to others that we work with, relate to our bosses, those who are higher up with, uh, us. Promotional opportunities could be on the line, which definitely affects money and finances. If your guests, um, for those who are business owners or self employed, or they're the ones who are managing others, again, being able to appropriately communicate with others ties definitely very much into the bottom line in terms of attracting and retaining your customer base, as well as good employees, having a good relationship with your vendors, your jv partners. Um, so it really does affect all aspects of life from a professional basis as well as in the home on a personal basis, because if that's all fine and going well, then we can be more at our best in our professional life. So it really does, um, reach all tenets of life, both professionally and personally.

>> Speaker B: Absolutely. And especially when you think of, like you were mentioning earlier, our relationship with money. I don't know if, when you used to hear whatever the divorce rate was and what would be your first thought? Because mine would be, oh, yeah, money is the number one reason.

>> Speaker A: Well, money and communication around money and finance.

>> Speaker B: Communication, yeah, exactly.

>> Speaker A: Um, yes. The divorce rate, I mean, a lot of it ties into the discussion of money mindset around money and spouses having different ideas of how that relationship with money works. Um, and their ideal around that, and communication in the home around not just money, but other aspects of life as well, within the home.

>> Speaker B: And would you say, let's say people are getting to know each other and want to plan a future together. M when it comes to discussing financial issues, since you're a financial educator, what are some of the key things or elements they should agree on, communicate on, and see if they're on the same page to decide whether they should build a life together or not.

>> Speaker A: That could be a whole topic just in and of itself. First, it would definitely be important to, um, see what each other's communication style is in general. And then there are different assessments out there in terms of how one looks at money, how one views money, having conversations around, what was it like growing up in the home? Uh, what was your first memory of money in the home? How was that handled between your parents? Was it even talked about or communicated about? Because for a lot of people, their parents, it was a no no to even discuss money in the home. And so what did that look like growing up? And how does each other feel around those topics and what their experience was? And what would they want to create together as a couple, whether they look to have children or not? I mean, what do they want to pass on to their children. If that relationship goes that far. And if that's what they're looking to be together as a life partner, what do they want to build together from that aspect of their life together. And then their life together as potentially starting a family? What traditions do they want to bring in? What communication do they want to really aspire to with each other, and how they want to have that translated that might be different from their relationship with their parents.

>> Speaker B: Yeah, those are very key discussions, especially during that period of engagement or counseling before marriage. Because you find that a lot of the time, sometimes they think, oh, we should have talked about that while we were dating. I didn't know you thought that way.

>> Speaker A: Exactly. Especially around many choices and decisions. Because oftentimes, spouses can have very different views around that. Um, and so, as situations come up, okay, well, how do we want to handle these types of expenses or these types of conversations around certain levels of expenses? When should we discuss a big item, and what does big mean to you? Because that might certainly mean something different to me. And, um, how much do we want to have a joint account for everything, or do we want to have a joint account just for household expenses. And yet still have separate accounts for you? Do your thing here. I do my thing here. And so those types of conversations are just really key to have ahead of time. Just so there aren't unwelcome surprises later that people aren't anticipating. And could escalate into something that might not be so enjoyable.

How do you view money? What aspects of it are beneficial to you

>> Speaker B: And speaking of that, then there comes this phrase. Our relationship with money. What exactly does it mean if you okay, Roberta, what is your relationship with money? What does that entail?

>> Speaker A: Yeah, so entails a wide variety of things, Roberta. Uh, I mean, really, it's how do you view money? So let's start there. Do you have things around the topic of money and finances that are positive and or things that may not be so positive? What is the messaging that you received around money when you were growing up? How do you interpret how society views, especially as a woman, um, and having your own business? What are the messages out there from society, and how do you interpret that for yourself? Is it something that you take on? Um, is it something that you discard? What aspects of it are beneficial to you and what isn't? Because what I find for a lot of women, regardless of where they're at, ah, in their socioeconomic status, that oftentimes there are these hang, um, ups, for lack of a better word, that we have things that hold us back as it relates to many or even a subset of career and success, of what that even means, because oftentimes there are things that hold us back from really being able to excel to our true potential of what's there for us. And so all of that really can get encompassed in it. And so how do we relate to those things? But then also, how are we actually handling our money and our finances? Are we on task with things? Are we putting plans in place not only for the future, but also balancing that appropriately with the things that we have and we want today, balancing that with our future needs and lifestyles and really what we're wanting to do in impact, the impact level that we're wanting to have in the world, the resources that we have available to have that happen, and just managing all aspects of that. I look at it from a holistic standpoint of it's not in a vacuum. So a lot of people think of their investments, for example, as being run track, and then it's like it doesn't really affect other areas of our life, but really any financial decision that we make, it really does have an impact in other areas, even if it's a subtle impact. And really, what trajectory are we on? Are we just kind of throwing a dart at the dartboard and not really paying too much attention to it and just letting everything work out on its.

>> Speaker B: Own, hoping it sticks? Yes.

Term biology is the science of buying behavior. So I always believe it starts within

Because speaking of that relationship. So I always believe it starts within. Right? I mean, we know that all the communication, first it starts within, what's your belief? Like you said? And then it transfers to, when I have a career and let's say I'm in sales, what's going to be my communication style with potential customers based on my own inner communication, so to speak.

>> Speaker A: Yeah. And that does come through, whether we realize it or not. It is important to realize how we come across to others. And oftentimes we have filters that we don't even realize how we may be coming across. And so there is a tool, um, that I use to be able to see, okay, well, where am I in my own communication style? And if communication style is not the same as this person who's across from me, um, there's a tool that I can use to be able to look at what those key aspects are of, uh, what's important to that other person so I can bring that into the conversation. So I'm addressing really what it is that is most important to them. It helps to build that know, like and trust factor, and it also helps me really better serve them to a deeper and greater degree, which brings the.

>> Speaker B: Term biology that you crafted so beautifully. What do you mean by that?

>> Speaker A: Yes. So biology is really the aspect of how are they making their buying decision and me being able to communicate with that other person based on their key values to get to the buying decision much more quickly, because I'm addressing the needs that are their true needs, their desires, and I'm really touching in on what is most important to them. And when I'm able to do that, I'm addressing all the needs that they have. And we have conversation if there's anything missing from that. And so it's the science of buying behavior. And the, um, San Francisco State University, they did an, um, independent study on this methodology that the code breaker technologies has, where it helps people get to the buying decision, where you're able to determine those key factors in 90 seconds or less. And so while it's the similar personality, communication, um, as others, so it's kind of like the same as other personality assessments out there, but yet completely different because it touches into the other person and not just yourself.

>> Speaker B: Which begs the question, and I'm probably diverting a little bit, you know how I think, uh, usually when friends of mine and I were talking about potential ideas, whatever to manufacture, and this is going to sell like hotcakes, we usually have this idea that if it's selling to children, whether you're branding something Disney like, if it's children, usually the buying decision is much quicker than if you're m selling to the parents because the parents can have delayed gratification and, ah, uh, you know what? I don't need it today. Maybe let's come back next month and see if I still want this. But if it's your kid, you are not likely to say no. So we always say anybody who sells anything children wise, is going to make a killing because that buying decision usually is made much faster than if the parents are buying something.

>> Speaker A: No. Well, potentially, but even children have their own communication styles as well, and so similarly to adults. And so if we're not keying in those key factors, then maybe yes, uh, maybe no. It just depends on how those marketing messages are being had and if it's touching into those key aspects of the children as well.

>> Speaker B: Yes.

There is a way to determine how your messaging is coming across

And then earlier we were talking about how we've been, especially with online coaches, they usually say, speak the language that your customer is speaking, or get into their head, craft your message such that this is the question they ask themselves. What would you say to that?

>> Speaker A: I say, that's definitely true. And yet with the messaging as well, um, there is a way to determine how your message is coming across. Like, which personality style is it reaching the most? And depending on who you're targeting for your market, if you're wanting to expand beyond a certain communication style, there's a way of determining, well, how high is my messaging hitting this type of a potential client or clients? And if I want to broaden that, what type of languaging do I need to put in my marketing messages? Um, on my website, on my landing pages, in any type of social media post, and if I'm responding to somebody through an email that they may have sent to me, being able to analyze that email or have a particular, the code breaker AI to analyze that is make sure that when I'm responding, that I'm responding in the same communication style. So it is touching on what is most important for them.

Code Breaker AI helps you analyze your communication to ensure you're hitting your target

>> Speaker B: And would you like to explain what code Breaker AI is for the benefit of our listeners?

>> Speaker A: Yeah, um, so code breaker technologies is the founder of this methodology called the bank methodology, which stands for blueprint, b for blueprint, a for action, n for nurturing, and k is knowledge. And so those are the four personality communication styles. So they have their own AI. Before Chat GPT even became a thing, um, they've had their own AI where I can analyze any piece of written content, put it into the AI, and it will show me how my messaging is coming across. Who is it reaching the most, and if I'm wanting to balance it, uh, it will give me tips on the type of languaging that I should include to be able to balance out my communication. So when I did put my website together, when I am putting in together, um, certain social media posts, when I wrote the chapter for my book that's coming out, um, I put that all in the AI to see how is my communication. And sometimes I might want to target a particular communication style, and then there's other times where I want it to be more broad based. So I'm needing to even out some of my languaging and bringing in some other words to be able to reach a broader audience. And so it really depends on what your goal is in your communication and who you're wanting to communicate with.

>> Speaker B: If you think of things like the focus groups do we need to have those types of systems first to establish what, uh, our potential target market is thinking so that we create a product that is going to solve their problems? Is that the extent to which we should go? Sorry, go ahead.

>> Speaker A: Yeah. And I think focus groups are great there's a different goal around focus groups than what the communication, um, looking at the biology aspect of it. So the focus group is good for getting ideas of being able to do product creation, course creation, that type of thing. But then how then do you communicate in your messaging? I mean, certainly tying in some of the verbiage that they're utilizing, but then also really to enhance that communication where you're really hitting your target market. There's another aspect of it that you can bring into it with the biology. Psychology. Not just psychology, but the biology aspect of it. Of really what's going to help them make that buying decision.

>> Speaker B: Yes. Because we grew up in the age of tv ads, and sometimes if it's something we don't need that often, or if it's not a consumable good, it would be a matter of how creative are, ah, they in the ad being catchy or interesting or funny for us to even think about going to consider buying the product. Are we at an age where we've moved from that because of AI and all the messaging that we're receiving right now?

>> Speaker A: No. We'll always need to have a point of, uh, capturing interest. Right. Um, from tv ads to social media ads. And people are on overwhelm right now with being inundated with the types of ads that they get, and so many ads that they get, and you go onto one website and it captures your data, and then you start seeing ads for whatever it was that you looked up online. And so there's a lot out there that inundates us in so many different ways. And we're having to make so many decisions, even micro decisions, about so many different things these days. So we're definitely in a different world than we were in the 80s, for sure. So that means that it becomes even more important for our messaging to be on target, because people are getting bombarded with messaging all day long. And so if our messaging is off, it's just easier, much easier for them to just bypass whatever it is that we're wanting to promote or whatever messaging that we're wanting to put out there in the world.

Tanya says she works with women mostly, but she will still help men

>> Speaker B: And also being specific, which brings us to the whole word, also known as niche. When we started, you said you work with women mostly, but does that mean that if a man has a similar problem to the solutions that you provide, that they cannot come to you?

>> Speaker A: Oh, no. So from a niche standpoint, you're basically targeting whatever your niche may be. You're targeting a particular area, and some people may choose, okay, I'm only going to work in this vein. And if anybody comes to me outside of that, then. Sorry, charlie, let, um, me refer you to somebody else. Um, but no, I will still work with men as well. My main focus, at least for the financial education portion, is women. But on the advisory side, I work with men and women, couples, families, et cetera.

>> Speaker B: It doesn't mean when you're niche, your messaging is sort of, like exclusionary, so to speak, just so your niche can feel like, oh, Tanya is talking to us based on what she's saying on her website.

>> Speaker A: Yeah, it's promoting to a particular group, and certainly there will be messaging in that that other people find interesting and think, okay, well, that sounds like me, too. I mean, I might not be a woman, but I have those similar issues, those similar problems. I think this person would be great to be able to help me with this particular area. Again, some coaches or whatever the role is of that person may be open to embracing others outside of their particular niche, but then some aren't. So it really depends on the person. So I would encourage whoever, if you feel like that's you and they're not targeting you specifically and you feel that they could help, certainly reach out, because I do know of other coaches who have opened it up. Although they primarily work in a particular area, they've opened it up to other niches, other people, even if they're not fitting their ideal avatar, target, client.

Why did you choose the finance industry? Really? I fell into it

>> Speaker B: And of all the professions, why did you choose the one that is in the finance industry?

>> Speaker A: Really? I fell into it, um, so to speak. I didn't go to school thinking, hey, I want to be a financial advisor, and do. That's actually quite the opposite. I tested really well for it way back when. Once upon a time, in my much younger years, I had my own, um, money story when I was young. We didn't grow up with money. Um, we were quite challenged, actually, monetarily. My parents got divorced fairly early, and my mom was a single mom, so fresh into the workforce without college education. She had her high school diploma but no work history because she was raising four kids on her own. And the money was tight, to say the least. So I had my own challenges with having to figure out this world. And so it was really not until after putting myself through school and working in corporate America, climbing that corporate ladder. And then when I had my first born, he had some medical challenges. So I left my corporate life and became a stay at home mom, which was never, ever the plan for me. But priorities change when you have kids. And so my priorities changed, and gone up to a vp level, but my son's health was more important, and so I left all of that behind. And then once he stabilized and started school, um, the field that I was in was, um, human resources. And so laws are constantly changing. I wasn't able to, I felt, anyway, go back in at my same vp level that I left years prior. And so what else could I do? And this came up. A friend of a friend was in this field, and she really enjoyed it, felt a bit fulfilling and being able to work around her family life. And so I thought, well, let me see if this could be something that I might want to do. And I do. I thought there needs to be more women in this field, because there are so many women out there who do need help. And the traditional, um, view of, ah, financial advisors really is not that positive. And so if there are more women like me to get into the field and to help those who are there, because who need the help, who want the help. And so that's how I started. That's how I started, and so that's my goal and my role is. So that's why I target women is because, um, our relationship with money is different than men. Messaging around money for us is definitely different than men. There are key risk areas that affect women more so than men, and so we're behind the eight ball in a number of ways. And so I want to empower women around money and finances so we can get ahead or at least try to catch up with where we're at in life with money and finances.

>> Speaker B: Think of how many women would also prioritize being with their children, but also be able to use their skills like you did, in order to still have an income while taking care of their children.

>> Speaker A: Yeah, it makes such a difference because we take just as I did, I took myself out of the workforce for a number of years, so I wasn't contributing to any retirement plan during that time. And since then, of course, our parents age. And so we're in this for a lot of us in this sandwich generation, of taking care of, uh, our children and having to also be concerned about our aging parents who do have issues as they become more frail. There's things around that in terms of caretaking for our parents while also balancing caretaking for our families. Um, and that is one of the key risk areas, because it affects us not only when we take ourselves out of the workplace in terms of contributing to our 401 ks, but it also affects future Social Security that we get because we're not contributing to that either. There's a number of things that we just don't necessarily think through because our primary target is to care for our loved ones. Right.

>> Speaker B: Yes. It reminds me of one of my favorite series. I love legal dramas, the good Wife. I don't know if you ever watched it, but when it first started, that was basically the premise that this senator, Congressman, whatever Peter's role was, his wife had been home for about 13 to 15 years, raising their children, and now she suddenly had to go back to work when things fell apart. And having graduated law school, there's so much in 15 years law related that she needed to catch up on.

>> Speaker A: Yes, exactly. We live in a fast paced world, and law certainly is one that changes constantly. And with my field, which was human resources when I was in corporate, that is changing because of the laws that change, especially here in California. But there's other industries as well that are affected. And so to try to keep up on that and almost kind of starting over to some degree, um, to a large degree, depending on the industry that you are. Yeah. And then just having to be able to catch up on all of that isn't the easiest for some industries.

You grew up in a strict christian household where money was taboo

>> Speaker B: And what would you say, if you don't mind us asking, what are the two belief systems about money you had growing up that you realized that you had to change? There's probably more, but can you give us your top two?

>> Speaker A: Yeah. So I also grew up in a very strict christian household, and so I think a lot of people probably have the same thing of this idea of money being the root of all evil.

>> Speaker B: All evil?

>> Speaker A: Not what the Bible says. The Bible actually does not state that, but it's a misinterpretation of the Bible that a lot of people hold as true. Right. Um, and then there's also various verses just about, um, something about the eye of the needle. Like, it's easier for camel to go through the eye of the needle than a rich.

>> Speaker B: And so being rich is a no no.

>> Speaker A: Yeah. And so there's this mentality in the christian community, in many christian communities, that to have money is not good. To have money is evil. Those who are rich are bad people that they cause. All of our worries and problems in the world are due to people having money. But really, money is just a tool. And you are who you are. If you are a good and nice and wonderful person who's very generous at whatever level, you will be that same person. Even if you have more abundance, because you have it to be able to share with others and you can do more with your financial resources and being able to make a true impact in the world with the financial resources that you do have. And so there's, um, a lot of mismessaging that I received as a young child around money and people who have money. Um, we were not even middle class growing up. Yeah. So just having to be able to try to heal through, um, some of that messaging that, uh, many of us are ingrained with. So those are just a few.

What would you say you communicate to your children about money

>> Speaker B: Right. And what would you say you communicate to your children so that they grow up with the right mindset about money?

>> Speaker A: Yeah. That it really is a tool to use to better your life and what you're wanting to do in the world. There's a lot of meaning that we place around money. My husband and I, we talk about in school, for example, with our kids just being in school, the energy and effort that you put into your work really is more important than the end result of the grades. Yes, grades can be important to some degree, but really, it's your energy and effort around that. And we didn't give our kids anything and everything that they wanted. There had to be some thought process around it. And I never would say the words, we can't afford something. It's, we choose not to have whatever it is. I just remember my youngest really wanting video games because all of his friends had video games. And when I grew up, I'm going.

>> Speaker B: To get video games for my kids.

>> Speaker A: I'm not going to. There's a lot of drama around not having video games, but it was a conscious choice that my husband, yes, we could have afforded to get whatever video games. It wasn't a matter of affordability for us, but we made a conscious choice because of what we were seeing around us. With a lot of kids just being so addicted to video games, and certainly could have done something in restricted time and all of that. And so that was just our personal decision around, um, that type of thing. So it's not always necessarily, and even if it is a situation of affordability, that's still a choice of, uh, okay, well, we choose to put our money into this versus this, and choosing to be able to explain that to children. You're not going to have anything and everything that you want in life as a child or when you grow up. You're going to have to make conscious choices about what it is that you do want, what you need and desire, versus really what you need. Those are two different things. We need to put food on the table, we need to pay the lights, we need to do these things. And then what we desire is something completely different. And being able to distinguish between the two of those things, that's really important. And, uh, it's hard for kids because they see their friends at school having this, that, and the other. Um, and maybe it requires a family discussion. There's our philosophy around these types of topics or these types of, um, material items, or being able to participate in these various activities. And it may come down to making a choice between this or that and what is most important to you in the this and the that.

>> Speaker B: Yes. Because there's this thing, like you said, you cannot train them to say, okay, every time you want something, you get it. That's not how life works, even for us grown ups. I have a baby brother. I'm 23 years older than him. When he was a toddler, my mom would say, you say, mama, please buy me this. And my mom said, we don't have money right now for it. So my mom used that language, which is what most parents say. Uh, ma, why don't you just go to the ATM and get it? I don't understand this point of it not being here, because there are atms, and I've seen you do this before. I know where to get it. If you don't have it.

>> Speaker A: It's the ATM.

>> Speaker B: It's the ATM.

Most of us want effective communication in our most important relationships

M any last words or anything that I haven't asked you yet today that you were hoping to share with us?

>> Speaker A: Well, I think when it comes down to communication, that, of course, we want effective communication. Most of us want effective communication in our most important relationships. And so that oftentimes as a spouse or a partner with our children, um, and then those that we work with, because we spend so much time in the work world, and so to be able to have, um, cohesiveness in that communication as well. And so, again, the methodology around the code breaker methodology of the bank system really provides a way of being able to have more meaningful and deeper, um, communication with others, especially if they're not in our primary communication style. That's where more challenge can tend to, um, come up. And so really being able to understand people, um, from their perspective, um, we learned the golden rule when we were young of do unto others as you would have them do unto you. But no, it's really the platinum rule of do unto others as you would have them as they would have you do unto them. So not from your perspective, but from their perspective.

>> Speaker B: The platinum rule, certainly that was Tanya White, the financial educator and coach held all the way from the Bay area.

Tanya Tree: Thank you for joining the speaking and communicating podcast

Thank you. So much for being on our show today. This has been a really enjoyable conversation and we learned so much from you.

>> Speaker A: Thank you. It's blessing being here and sending blessings to all of your audience.

>> Speaker B: Our pleasure. And thank you for the blessings. Same to you as well, Tanya. And before you go, please tell us where we can find you online or on the socials.

>> Speaker A: Sure. Um, I do have a social link site, tanyathree.com. Um, and that has various links to all of the places that you can find me. That's probably the easiest way of getting a hold of me.

>> Speaker B: Okay. So, Tanya, 360. Com.

>> Speaker A: Yes, Tonya. Three 60.

>> Speaker B: I will put that on the show notes. Thank you very much.

>> Speaker A: You're welcome.

>> Speaker B: Thank you for joining the speaking and communicating podcast once again. The speaking and communicating podcast is part of the B podcast network, where there are many other podcasts that support you in being a better leader and becoming the change you want to see. To learn more about the B podcast network work, go to bpodcastnetwork.com. Don't forget to subscribe. Leave us a rating and a review on Apple and Spotify, and stay tuned for more episodes to come.