Speaking and Communicating Podcast

Hello everyone and welcome to this episode of the Speaking and Communicating podcast. My name is Roberta and today I have a very special guest. Her name is Arin Kaur and she's here to help us with breathing work that will help solve so many of our daily problems. I know a lot of us usually think I don't have time to be mindful. I got bills, I got kids, I got husbands, etc.
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I don't have time to meditate. How can I fit better to my business schedule? I have things to do. I have deadlines. But she's going to show us that despite all of those things, you can still fit on a daily basis. You can still fit mindfulness and taking time to look within yourself in your busy day. So before I continue, I'm gonna give her a chance to introduce herself. Here's Erin Gore.
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Hi, thank you for having me, Roberta. I am a mindfulness coach and I help people find small moments of calm in their everyday lives. No extra time needed, just creating a lifestyle that fits into your schedule. All right. So I don't have to reserve the 30 minutes or the hour like I've heard before to meditate in the morning because if I wake up at 5 a.m. you're asking me to wake up at 4.30?
01:27
No, I'm definitely not asking you to do that. Anything regarding to waking up early, sleeping late, no. I believe in creating a wellness journey, which is your own specific to your schedule, your needs, so that it just does not remain as a task on your to-do list, which you just have to check off. It should come very naturally to you. All right. So how do we, first of all, not view meditation as a particular religion?
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or for a certain group of people. And the reason I asked that is I was raised Christian. And when I first even heard of the term meditation I associated with the Buddhism religion. And I find that a lot of people become hesitant with anything associated with it. If you're atheist, if you're from another, like I said, I was born Christian, is that people feel like it's not for them.
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Is it a religion thing or is it something that has nothing to do with religion? But anybody on earth can benefit from. Absolutely. This is one misconception about meditation, that it is related related to any specific religion. No, meditation has nothing to do with religion at all. Meditation just means. So let me go back a step. Our mind generally.
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has a habit of swinging like a pendulum. So it's either going to swing to the past and get stressed about what has happened, why did it happen or it will swing to the future. Oh, I wish this happens and create that anxiety. Your mind never wants to be in the present moment. What meditation does, meditation is a tool.
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to help yourself bring yourself back to the present. How are you going to bring yourself back to the present? You need to break your thinking patterns from the past and from the future. And that happens when you focus 100% on any one thing. Now in meditation, your focus can be on chanting mantras or prayers. Your focus can be on saying affirmations out loud. Your focus can be on.
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Can I interrupt you on that? Yeah, sure. Like I said, so people are reluctant to do their meditation because they associate it with religion. You just said affirmations. And most of us were introduced to affirmations, you know, when the secret, the movie came out. Yeah. I was introduced to it. A global phenomenon, right? So are you saying that affirmations are a form of meditation?
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You can turn anything to a form of meditation. Like I said, it just has to have your 100% attention. If you are saying out your meditations with your whole heart, full attention, and your mind is fully focused while you're saying out those affirmations out loud, definitely it's a meditation. All right.
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The reason I contacted you as well was because I was very intrigued by what you say is breathing work. This is what you teach, right? Yes. For people to incorporate this on their business schedule. Take us through that. I'm very interested in hearing more about the breathing work. So your breath is like your superpower. You can consciously change your breathing pattern in a way.
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which can give you any result which you desire. If you need an energy boost, don't grab that cup of coffee. Just take one or two minutes out and breathe and definitely you'll get that energy boost. If you're unable to turn your brain off at night when you need to sleep, don't worry. You've got two minutes of breath room and you're all set to sleep like a baby. Two as in two minutes? Two as in two minutes, one and two minutes.
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Erin, I have insomnia, so please don't make it. Don't over-promise and under-deliver. I am not, I am not over-promising. Absolutely not. Are you saying if I consistently do this, sorry to interrupt you, if I consistently practice this breath work, it could be an answer to the insomnia? It can be, yes. Oh, all right. I'm interested in hearing more. Carry on. Okay, so.
06:02
Since we are discussing insomnia, I'm going to tell you a breath work, which I want you to try. Okay? Okay. So we will be breathing, inhaling and exhaling only through the nose and only through your left nostril. So what you're going to do is you're going to use your thumb to block off your right nostril, just a gentle close, no pressure, and just inhale, exhale through your left. That's it.
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Inhale, slow deep breath. So inhale, two, three, four, exhale, two, three, four, inhale, two, three, four, exhale, two, three, four. So this is something which you need to keep going. Do it, set a timer. Do it for two, maximum three minutes. Trust me, you will feel relaxed. You will feel set to go.
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Here's my question. I have never heard of this before. Every breathing exercise I've done from different sources has never done it with one nostril. Why are you doing it this way? So this is specifically for sleeping at night. How does that benefit is that left nostril is associated with the moon energy of the body. It brings calmness and coolness into your body. And that's what we want.
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Yes, I am. After we were done, even though I'm sitting down, the ease of feeling, I find that when I'm after doing breathing work, the first three seconds or so, I feel a little dizzy, not dizzy, but I feel like there's an energy movement going on as if I'm going woozy. So I've never heard of the one nostril strategy before I'm going to start doing that.
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especially with them. So when you say you can bring up any result that you want, give us some examples. What other results do your clients come for when they want, you know, please help me with this problem and that problem. What are some of the things people come to you for? I have people coming to me for anxiety. Now this is a big one. Anxiety is everyday anxiety. Female entrepreneurs I've seen have a lot of anxiety levels.
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because they're managing so many aspects in their lives, trying to balance everything out. So yeah, so I had one of my clients who we had a one-on-one course for six weeks, and even after those six weeks, she continued her practice. And because she was so dedicated to her practice, her anxiety medication reduced to 50%. Wow, just from breathing the way that you
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That's what she says. That helped her. I do not want to say it, but yes. That, yes. So that, I have that, she like shared that testimony which is saved on my Instagram. You hear it from her own mouth. Okay, so anxiety, that's a big one. I know a big percentage of the population suffers from that. What else helps with the breathing? Compulsive eating is also.
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something which is very prevalent because we tend to eat out of stress. When we're stressed, the first thing we look for is a comforting food and we start to binge on it. So we have a breath work which can help you break that compulsive eating habit as well. So these are specific ones, but for everyday moments like afternoon slump is something which most of us experience, right? You had lunch and that two to 3 p.m. mark is when we actually start feeling low energy.
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And that's why we want to live work if you're still in college. Exactly. That's when you keep working at the club, why is it my 4.30? Exactly. So that is when you do a press work and get charged to stay at work. Right, right. Now, we talk about speaking and communicating here. And one of the things I always try to emphasize when it comes to our inner selves is the inner dialogue.
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You know, like you're saying we've got focused on the past or anxious about the future based on whatever's registered at the back of our minds. So how do we use this braiding work in order to fix whatever this is that keeps us on autopilot making poor choices, so to speak? So when we are doing a lot of things which are on autopilot mode, that means our mind needs to be trained to
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focus in the present moment. So we have to remember.
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So there are various things which you can do to start training your mind and that, like I said, you don't need any extra chunk of time to do that. You can do that simply by bringing mindful tweaks to your everyday routine. So for one example, which you can do is that everybody brushes their teeth, right? But what is going on in your head while you're brushing your teeth?
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My two-fuel list because I usually brush my teeth in the morning. So what the rest of my day is going to look like, what I should insert just because, you know, maybe there's a rescheduling, how I should handle a certain crisis, you know, the usual stuff. Yeah, exactly. But everything except brushing. Yeah, no, I don't think, I think that's almost like driving, you don't even think about it anymore. Yeah, exactly. Right.
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Okay, I'm going to get to driving in the in just one second. I'm going to talk about breathing first. So for making that mindful treat to your, uh, your brushing, use your non-dominant hand for brushing your teeth. Meaning I'm right handed. I must use my left. Yes. You're going to use your left hand to brush your teeth because when that challenge comes of using your non-dominant hand, you, your mind is going to be forced to not think about that to do list, but rather focus.
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on brushing. And when you make such mindful tweaks, your mind is slowly going to be trained to turn that autopilot. You know what I'm afraid of? That I won't brush properly and my breath is gonna stink and people are gonna run away from me. No, that's definitely not going to happen. I'm sure it's not gonna happen. Brushing with my left hand, that's just so weird. So when you do something out of the autopilot
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ordinary mode, that's when your brain is forced to be in the present moment. Yes. Okay. I hear that with the brushing, you said you're going to come to the driving. I don't see how I could, because driving involves safety and all that. I don't see how I could do it differently to get to a destination without, without. Okay. One more question for you. Okay. So when you're driving, you have your music on? Yes. Okay. Yeah.
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Everybody does. Happy music, you know, I always have this theory that it's better to play music that I like that makes me happy versus listening to something negative like the news or something. So I agree. If I have to choose in listening between news and music, I would say music. Yes. But now here's the thing. You're doing two things at once. You're doing your driving and you're listening to music. So that hundred percent attention, which was supposed to be with driving.
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has now become 33%. Why? 33% for driving, 33% to the music you're listening, and 33% to the thoughts which are going in your head. Do you wanna really drive with just 33% focus? Of course not, I need to get that safely. Exactly, exactly. So we need to remind who we're driving. And one way to do that is if the weather permits, roll down your window.
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turn off your radio, see if you're not notice, are you getting a red signal or a green signal? Notice, listen to the cars passing by. That's another level of serenity. You won't believe it, but it is. It does say no. You listen to the cars, yes, but then there's potential for road rage, especially when you have your window down, then you hear people dropping bombs. You don't want to get to work all upset because somebody.
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cut in front of you and everybody's screaming at each other. Is that really, how does that work? Okay, so if that does happen, I'm sure that doesn't happen every single time you're driving. But if that does happen, give yourself a minute to feel out the anger, but then just leave it at that minute. Then you need to return to your breath. Then you need to start taking deep breaths to.
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Let go of that anger of the road. You don't want to carry that anger to the rest of your day. I want to get to work and vent to everybody. And then you want to make your whole day crappy. That's the evil that you're going to be sending. About how bad the drivers in my city are. Where do these people get their licenses for? I want to come to work and do that. So for one minute, I can be angry.
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And then you suggest I do the breath work so that I can let it go. It doesn't serve you. That anger will not serve you. That's going to cause you more harm than you realize. Why do we need that negativity? We don't need it. Let's just let it go. That's it. Just let it go. So this breath work to help me deal with road rage or whatever is setting me at the time so that I don't carry it throughout the rest of my day.
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Simple deep breathing is going to help you. Now when I say deep breathing, there's another aspect to it. People don't realize a lot of times they're breathing into their chest. Oh, okay. You have to focus that you should be breathing into your belly, as in when you're inhaling, like a balloon, your belly should be expanding. And when you exhale, your belly should contract. So that should...
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be the range of motion we're looking for during deep breathing. A lot of times when we are stressed, anxious, our breaths become shallow and short. Yeah, you breathe from here. And you say, my heart is pounding. I'm so upset. Exactly. So when that's happening, put your hands on your belly, try to breathe into your belly, maybe to a count of five or to a count of eight, whatever is comfortable to you. So inhale, two, three.
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four, five, exhale through your mouth, two, three.
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Inhale two, three, four, five. Exhale through the mouth, two, three, four. Repeat that a few times. Just what they do with women who had childbirth, you know, during labor. Yes, because different kinds of breathing techniques help you to manage your pain as well. So yeah, breathing does help. Different kinds of breathing techniques help you.
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to manage different kinds of pain, I gather? Yes. Oh, okay. Speaking of breathing through your abdomen, what I've heard vocal coaches, is this related to that? I've heard vocal coaches say, don't sing from your throat, sing from your... That's because again, then there are a lot of aspects, how deep vocal coaches work with, how deep your voice should be, and then driving the energy from the navel, earth voice.
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aspects of that also, which probably I would not be the right person to speak for. Different topic, of course. Just one more question now that I'm touching my belly. I know that if anybody's familiar with the energy centers, some people call this, energy centers, where your energy is stored, right? Right. The abdomen one, is it because that's one of the energy centers that
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breathe from there? Is that related to any of this? No, not really. No, this is more of a scientific incentive that when you are breathing and your stomach is expanding, right, you are getting space for your lungs to expand and fill up with oxygen. Yes. Think of it this way. If your stomach is contracting, your lungs are not getting that space to open up and fill up. Right. We don't want that.
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So we want our belly to expand so that our lungs can fill up. And then.
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Okay, this has been so transformational. This is life-changing. Erin, so give us three tips starting today. We are all busy. We all have to-do lists. We all brush our teeth with the dominant hand, like I said. Most of us are right-handed. Some of us are left-handed. Those are dominant. So now changing that. Give us three main tips on what to do starting today.
19:45
So we're gonna change how we brush our teeth, how we drive and just give us three things and what to do on a daily basis. Just call us. Okay, daily basis. You are asking for three tips, but I would honestly say that it's always better to be in with one. Oh, okay. And become consistent with the one, move on to the next. Because if you try all three of them at the same time and for some reason, if it doesn't,
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work for you, you're going to be put off from the whole concept, which I don't want. Which we do that all the time. You know, when we do this, we go to this motivational retreats and seminars and we're so pumped up when we come back home and you do it for a week. Or when you start a new diet to do it for a week, something goes wrong, fall off the wagon, back to your habitual way of doing things. So let's get this one transformational tip from you today.
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So one transformational tip is that whenever you're in your day, we're doing a lot of transitions between tasks, right? We're sending an email, then the phone buzzes. We need to pick up the phone. That's also a transition which we're doing from one task to the next. Yes. Every time you're doing that task, take three deep breaths. So if you're sending that email and you see your phone buzzing with a notification or a call,
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Don't give in to the urge of picking it up there and then. Take 3D breaths and then pick up that phone. Now what's going to happen when you take the time for those 3D breaths? Your mind is in a certain frame when you're sending that email. Maybe in a state of anger or frustration, I don't know. When we take those 3D breaths, our mind gets that space to let that go, let leave it where it is and
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Okay, if I have a phone call, I need to attend that with a neutral mind. I don't want this to spill over. You transferred over to that. Like energy is transferred. Yeah. So you're taking those three deep breaths back in 30 seconds. Just to pause, give yourself a reset button. So leave that in the past. The last task. Leave it where it is. Pick it up after the phone call. So that when I go there, I'm fully present.
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I'm not taking whatever happened here with me. Exactly. And I'm in that moment. Yes. What would you summarize before we close? What would you summarize is one major benefit of being in the present, of being in the now and focusing right now instead of thinking about everything? The moment, the best benefit I would say of being in the moment is that you get
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to be fully alive. Remember, the breath which has gone, the last breath does not exist. We don't know the future breath exists or not. What exists, the breath we're taking right now. So why don't we be fully here and feel fully alive? Fully live. That's a very big one. We need to fully live.
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Because we are alive, but I think this becomes such an extra contract. We don't have to think about it anymore. Right. Totally live. Arin Kaur, this has been such an informational session. Everything that you've shared with us today, if we do it starting today, it's definitely going to transform our lives in different aspects. But before we close, please share with us where we can find you so we can practice more of the breathing work and you can share other different techniques.
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You can find me on Instagram. Okay. My handle is akilashotsyoga. Let's do that slowly, even if we spell it so that we can find you. Yeah, so it's A-K. A-Q-U-I. All right, I'm gonna have to write that down so I can write it on the show notes. A-Q. UI. L-A.
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S H O T S Y O G A H U U I L A S H O T S Y O G A
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Akela Shots Yoga is where we can find Arin Kaur Instagram, so that we can learn more breathing techniques in order to help us get the results that we want. Sorry, Karim? Yeah, so when you go there, I have a free seven-day mindfulness challenge you can log up to. I have a free five-day breath-through-a-boot count which you can try. And if you want to level up.
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I have a 12 week one-on-one mindfulness program where we create not a habit of wellness, but a lifestyle which stays forever. So that it becomes habitual. It's something you do every day. Yeah. That is when results really come through. Arin, thank you so much for being here today. We really appreciate you sharing this with us. Thank you so much for having me. I loved being here. Thank you. All right, bye.