Speaking and Communicating Podcast

Welcome back to the Speaking and Communicating podcast. I am your host Roberta and today I have Izzy Lobacz. He is a communications coach and a keynote speaker. And guess what? He is here to show you how to overcome stage fright, which is one of the things we've always discussed on this podcast. And also how to get started if you think that speaking has never been on your radar before. And before going any further, please help me welcome Izzy. Hi Izzy.
00:29
Hello, it's nice to see you and nice to hear you. Thank you. Glad for you to be here. I'm easy. It's much easier to remember. And you're from which country again? I'm from Poland. So we are really happy that you're on this podcast because this is one of the things we always try to help our listeners with, which is first of all, how do I get started on
00:53
is speaking Korea and I never thought of studying because I'm scared. How do I even know what to speak about? So I'm hoping that those are the things that we're going to address today. Yeah, definitely. When you said this, I immediately connect with some stories because I have an acting background. When people hear this, they're telling me, oh, you have so easy because you get some training and so on. But actually, the people don't see the whole pathway.
01:22
beginning, how it just started. So when I was applying to the acting school, they told me that I'm deaf and stupid. Exactly. So it's not always easy. And especially when you're starting, what really matters is your attitude, how you're able to handle this, because I've never seen the beginning that they just get this. It's a pathway. It's hours of working and
01:49
People see just like the result of this. So they don't see how it goes, how many effort, how many courage you need to put into. Of course, I failed this exam and they told me to come back like in one year. And I said, I'm not going to wait one year. So I knew that they're going to be the second round in three months. So I just called my friend who is a pianist and I told him that they told me that I'm stupid and deaf, but just don't pay attention for this.
02:18
First one, let's focus on the second one. And his answer was simple. Ah, they just don't want to teach you. They don't want to spend the time on you. They want to have ideal product, which is not exist. Ready-made, yeah. Yeah, you're just going into the school. You're supposed to learn this, not have it already. How much time is gonna take to hear the music, to be in tune and so on. And he told me one month, but how much time we have.
02:47
I said, three months, so I think we will manage. And he told me, oh, we're gonna do it twice and you're gonna have a holiday. So you see totally different attitudes for the same person. Here is a belief in somebody and here is not. So it depends what we are looking for. I did training three times per week for this three months. And when I get again on the exam, they just ask easy, what have changed that you were again here?
03:16
that you are again here. And I said, I was singing, doing everything connected with the music. So I was singing when I was playing video games, when I was taking a shower, when I was cooking. And they told me, okay, so show us now. When I stand on the stage, my legs was like shaking, you know? I barely could breathe, but I knew what I've done through these three months. So I stand and I did it. They were really impressed.
03:44
by the development through this because this music teacher has told me that it's impossible to make me here in tune. And you proved them wrong. Yeah and I did it in three months. Wow. He said it's your attitude so what can you say to someone who's trying to do something and they keep having doors shut at them and everybody saying you're not good enough. If people put you in some boxes it's their beliefs not yours and this is what you need to understand.
04:14
So never let people make you give up on something what you really want. Don't let it. But also the moral of your story was that you worked on it. You recognized the weakness. You said, okay, they're not going to stop me, but there is something I need to work on. So it's the self-belief plus the hard work. Sure. Without the work, it's nothing going to change. We need to work it out. So otherwise, if you don't spend a time on something, it's not going to happen.
04:42
because it's impossible to develop yourself when you're done spending a time to do it. I don't know these kind of cases where you just didn't do it, but you know how to do it. But it didn't happen by miracle. Yeah, like it's not a miracle. So, and remember also that you need to try hard is the first thing. The second one.
05:02
If you're going up to the hill, it's not gonna be easy. I was struggling. I was hearing that I'm not in tune. I was really frustrated about this, but he was leading me through the whole journey. So I just truly trust him. So for me, it was like, I completely didn't know what I'm doing, but I was doing what somebody told me. I was putting a lot of trust that he gonna make it. Mm-hmm. It sounds to me like a coaching or mentoring relationship.
05:30
What can you say about the value of having that type of person on your corner when you're working towards something? It's really good to have this kind of person because it's much faster. You can achieve something which is impossible for others. If you're going to use, if you're going to listen to proper people, which is going to help you. Because now if I would listen to them, my self-esteem just would be decreasing.
05:54
But I'm really stubborn. If somebody is telling me like, you're not gonna do it. Yes, I'm gonna do it even more. Stubborns are stubborn in a good way in a way that solidifies your self-belief. Cause I mean, there are people who are stubborn to their own destruction, but you are stubborn in a good way in a way that benefits you. Be stubborn, but not stupid stubborn. I like that. You need to understand when there is a stop loss. Because before I was really stupid stubborn.
06:22
I was doing and doing and doing and I knew that I'm gonna lose more, that I'm gonna gain from this, but I was doing just to prove somebody. But the attitude towards it, you were not in the right frame of mind. Always what you want to look at, it's like long term of consequences, a long term of achievement, because you don't think about life in the way, oh, it's gonna be over tomorrow. Yeah, no.
06:50
So this is kind of a plan you need to get a kind of strategy. Sometimes there is no sense to just pushing with a public speaking push anyway, because this is your long-term goal. You're going to get a lot of things. You're going to get a lot of value if you're going to work on this, if you're going to master this. So just keep doing anyway. You can struggle a lot, but you still need to keep doing.
07:16
How does someone start a public speaking career if they've never spoken before in front of a crowd? Okay, here now we are talking, correct? Right. Yeah, in the public speaking there is no difference. I mean people need to stop focusing that it's me versus them. The perspective is we. Look at this. Why? Because when people are listening to you, they want value. There's something which is interest them.
07:43
They don't want to be bored when they listen to you. Of course not. Yeah. So it's not that they're going to be judging you. They're going to help you. They're going to support you. Yeah. They're willing for you to succeed. Yes. Yeah. Because your success is their success. It's nonsense to think, oh, they're going to judge me. No. That hasn't been my experience. And then people ask usually, so when you speak, how do you know what to speak about if you've been assigned to speak?
08:13
I truly believe that everybody has something to say which is gonna impact somebody's life. And this should be our motivation going on the stage or talking to people to give value, to inspire, to share our knowledge because people can use this and they can gain a lot of more. The impact you can make, I usually say, it comes from your own story.
08:37
Because that's the one place when you go inside of you, deepest part of your soul, and you actually talk about your own experiences, what you've had to overcome, what you've learned, that's when it connects with other people. Exactly. Because look what I started with, with the story. Yes, right. People like to listen stories because it's like, we are human beings, so it's naturally that we are telling stories.
09:03
because we can connect with this emotionally. And this is what we actually need, emotional connection with our audience. I'm always encouraging people to don't think about themselves. People look at their presentation, what they see. There is a stage, there is a speaker, there is an audience, and how they gonna describe. I'm on the stage, I'm doing this, I'm speaking about this, here are my visuals.
09:33
It's all about me and this is the wrong perspective. We don't want to look at ourselves. This is totally not important here. What we want to look is how our audience behaves. And what they want to know right now, what's gonna benefit them. Exactly, exactly. Because everybody thinks about themselves. Yeah. Exactly. What's in it for me. So they're not gonna focus on you. They're gonna all the time see through their perspective.
10:01
When we understand this, the stage fight and anything, it's just disappearing because you have totally different attitudes. You are sharing a value. You are sharing something which is interesting for them. And it's going to benefit them. So when you started being a communications coach, what are some of the common threats that you find with your clients? What are some of the things that they've had to overcome to communicate better? Sure. Okay.
10:28
I'm going to point out four things which you need to work on or focus on if you want to have better communication or better results. So firstly, you need to know what you do. This is the beginning. So you're looking at your idea, at your solution. So you need to understand what you do, how you do and who are you talking to. This is the base for you to construct your communication. If you know this, if you're going to ask this kind of questions.
10:57
You're going to get everything what you need. This is the first step. The second step is your communication. So what kind of language do you use and what kind of order? Because when you have a book, how you read the book from page one to two, to three, four, five, you're going to lose the connection with your audience. So you need to understand how they think about certain things.
11:23
And then you're going to know what kind of order. So I'm going to give you a simple order where is a challenge, where is a solution, where is a process. And when you have this, there are a lot of structures which helps you with this. So you just need to find out when you type on the internet, for example, how to structure your presentation, you're going to have like around nine or 13. So I'm not going to cover here because this is all available in on the internet, but you're going to find.
11:52
what kind of structure you can use to be more understandable. Because structures helps people understand your message because they not wondering, they gonna know what are gonna happen next. Yes, there's an order to your speech or your presentation. There is an order, exactly. So when you're using a proper language and you're putting in a proper order, there is no space to misunderstand you and you're building a context also. Because the context...
12:21
When I'm going to tell you, think about the tree, what the tree looks like. Everybody gonna describe different tree. Exactly. So what you want to do is stand with them next to you, stand in the front of the tree and showing this is my tree. And you see exactly the same because we are standing next to each other. So you don't want to stand like one person is staying on the south of the tree.
12:50
one person is staying on the north of the tree because even though if you look at the same tree your perspective is different. So you want to look from the same perspective and at the same tree and this is building you the context so the order of the information, the language and the context this is like communication level so this is the second step. The third one you still need to somehow deliver it.
13:18
Because when you are not able to do it, you just not provoke certain desire to provoke certain action. So here you need two things. Actually, your self skills, because how we are articulating, it's really impact on how we are articulating thoughts and how we're communicating, how we're playing with the audience. It's really important. This is really important. And the last thing is your public speaking skills.
13:47
So how do you stand? How do you present your offer? How you deliver this? Because some of us can speak slower, really slow. So everybody gonna understand this, not gonna miss the words, but some of us can speak really fast and so on and so on. So for example, like Tony Robbins, he's speaking like all the time high. High energy, pump fire. But does everybody need to be like him though?
14:17
Nope. Exactly. That's what I always say as well. Keep your personality, but acquire the skills. Don't try and be a carbon copy of someone else. Of course, it's not going to work. He has this kind of attitude, this kind of, you know, voice tone and anything. And you don't need to really be somebody else. You can be really you and present as a you. So we don't need to do a lot of things.
14:46
We just need to focus on what we want to say and our presentation skills gonna resonate. We gonna use it because we are thinking not what to do with hands or how to do visuals, but we are thinking what we want to share. Yeah. Izzy, thank you so much for being here today. You've shared such valuable information with our listeners, but before you go, please tell us where can we find you on social media if we want to know more. Yeah, sure.
15:16
I'm mostly on LinkedIn. So there is my main source. So if you want to find me just type easy, easy. So like easy, like easy going. Exactly. And you're going to find me. Izzy. Low barge. I ZZ Y L O B A C Z. Exactly. Okay. On LinkedIn. So that's where everybody can find you. Exactly. The hottest social media source.
15:45
I like that. Calling LinkedIn the hottest social media. You've shared some great tips with us on how to get started with public speaking and overcoming stage fright. It's been wonderful having you here today. Thank you so much for being with us. It was a pleasure and I hope that you get some value. And last thing, if you're not going to implement this, your knowledge is useless. So please do the first step and start to work on yourself.
16:13
because this is going to give you results which you never have a dream of, really. Very true. Easy love, Hatch.