Speaking and Communicating Podcast

00:00

Speaker 1
Whatever you're doing in life, be it job or anything like that, you have to ask yourself, "Is this coming from a place of fear, guilt and obligation? Is that why I'm doing this?" And if it is, don't do it, 'cause it puts you further and further into contraction. If it makes you feel expansive, then you do it.
00:21

Speaker 2
(intro music plays) Welcome back to the Speaking and Communicating podcast. I am your host, Roberta Ndlela. If you are looking to improve your communication skills, both professionally and personally, this is the podcast you should be tuning into. Communication and soft skills are crucial for your career growth and leadership development. By the end of this episode, please log on to Apple and Spotify and leave us a rating and a review. Now let's get communicating. Let's get communicating with our guest today. Joining us from Vancouver, Ashmita Arora is an entrepreneur, an author, and even more so, a gifted spiritual teacher who's here to talk to us about our language, patterns, and most of all, how to manifest, what it actually means. And before I go any further, please help me welcome her to the show. Hi, Ashmita.
01:23

Speaker 1
Hi, Roberta. Thank you for having me.
01:26

Speaker 2
My pleasure. Thank you for being here. Welcome. What do you mean when you say you are here to explain to us what real manifestation is? 'Cause if you see all the stuff on social media and everywhere, everybody ... okay, most people claim to know or claim to say, "Oh, I know how to manifest. Listen to me. Do what I did."
01:48

Speaker 1
There's so much, right? Because ever since the, uh, the secret came out, it took on a life of its own. And it's great in principle with, um, setting your sights on living a life full of inspiration, but the way that we go about it, I think one of the things that we truly forget is that we are manifesting at all times. It is true that you can actively try to manifest, then you knowingly are manifesting, but we are constantly in a state of manifestation because, you know, you talk a lot about communication, and this is how we communicate with the quantum field. That vibration that we live in, the energy that we are putting off, that is the vibration, and it's how we experience life. And so, it manifests the life that we're living, because if you look at somebody that's, say, negative all the time, and they have a right to be negative, because, for instance, everything that they said was gonna go wrong went wrong. They're gonna look past things that do go right.
02:54

Speaker 1
They're gonna narrow into the things that go wrong and allow those things to be their reality, and thus, they manifest.
03:04

Speaker 2
Is that what we sometimes refer to as self-fulfilling prophecy?
03:09

Speaker 1
Yes. Yeah. That's exactly what it is, because when you start to switch the way that you perceive things, when you start to switch the meaning behind things as well, that's a big, big one, then the way that you start experiencing things ultimately changes. I love giving examples, because it really grounds it into real life experience. So, it could be something such as, you know, you're going to the movies with a friend, and they cancel, and you've been dying to see this movie, and now you're upset or whatever have you that you, you know, you don't wanna go alone, but you're missing out on the movie and all these kind of things. But if you embrace it as, "Okay, that didn't work out, that's fine," and you open yourself up, you're in a different vibration of allowing either the rest that perhaps you needed, or, you know, you fall into a bookstore and you find a book that you're just so inspired to read.
04:04

Speaker 1
You allow things to happen for you and through you, rather than having that resistance and just being bummed out the rest of the day about the movie. It's that positive thinking, that opening up your mind to- to knowing that there really isn't any good and bad. We just assign these meanings, and so, so-
04:23

Speaker 2
I'm with you on the, yes, go with the flow if the friend cancels, maybe there's something else you can do, and you were not meant to move- watch the movie that day. But am I still justified in acknowledging the friend, the fact that the friend disrespected me, doesn't value my time, canceled at the last minute? Or is that also something I need to let go in order to go with this higher vibration of manifesting?
04:54

Speaker 1
That's a beautiful question, because that's, people would say, "Well, you know what? Yeah, either I carve the time out, or this is the third time that they've canceled," or, you know, all these real life situations. And in truth, there's only ever one problem in this world that individuals have, and there's only ever one solution. The problem is always attachment, always, and the solution is always detachment. If you're looking at any situation that you have in your life, you can detach from the meaning that you've given that situation. You can look at the core basis of absolutely any issue, and this can range from something like a friend standing us up to saying, you know, "But my problem is that my husband or my wife has this chronic illness. How can I just detach?" Being able to perceive it as an experience that you're- you're enduring in this life and what the silver lining behind it is.
05:55

Speaker 1
And this goes into such a deeper topic about what we truly are, the nature of why we experience these type of things on a soul level.Being able to see those experiences as, as learning lessons and things that were meant to really hold and find out what the expansion, what our soul expansion from that is, is where the alchemy happens, it's where the switch happens. It's where you start to see that life, it, it's not meant to happen to you. Your friend is not, uh, or they don't mean to do it to you on a personal level. And to be quite honest, even if they were to say, "I'm gonna book with Roberta and I'm just gonna waste her time," how likely is that?
06:41

Speaker 2
No.
06:42

Speaker 1
There's one aspect of it is we never know what somebody else is going through. We never know what their situation is or how they're feeling or anything like ... Why have you granted that to them, that much leeway over your human experience?
07:00

Speaker 2
Mm. You remind me-
07:02

Speaker 1
But, but-
07:02

Speaker 2
... of that quotation, I can't remember where it's from, but it says something along the lines of whether it's flattery or criticism, it goes down the same drain or something, which means that the detachment part, whether people are, are complimenting you or are criticizing you, you are detached from feeling a certain way about those things that they're saying about you.
07:31

Speaker 1
Yeah, because look at it like this. Everything that you should feel about yourself comes fr- from within. Now, if you allow outside noise, be it good or bad, to dictate how you feel from within, you're always at the mercy of that, always. You don't have power over that. Those things are all illusionary as well. The other thing is a lot of times when this happens, it's only reflecting back to us our own insecurities or our own self-judgments. And so that's why when we start to see ourselves in a different light, isn't it funny how the world kinda starts to see us differently as well?
08:12

Speaker 2
Mm-hmm. Right.
08:13

Speaker 1
One of the things that I've channeled, so just to quickly explain what channeling is, is when I allow source to bring information through. So I basically clear my mind, my thoughts. Any type of judgments that I have, I put it to the side, and I just channel, uh, wisdom d- directly from source. And typically in times of meditation, it comes through very clear.
08:35

Speaker 2
Mm.
08:36

Speaker 1
One of the things that had come through for me was the explanation of what ego is and how it's been given a very bad rap, but ego, what if you were to perceive it as your senses? Because it is anything that you have learned outside of your senses. What you think family should be, what you think a relationship should look like, should feel like, should smell like. All of these things are perceived from outside of you. What do you think success looks like? Does it look like the house? Does it look like the car? And so what does that car mean? That car means success. And so if you don't have that car or you can't afford that car, that means that you're less than. It takes from you.
09:16

Speaker 2
Are you familiar with Dr. Joe Dispenza's work?
09:20

Speaker 1
Oh my gosh, I love Dr. Dis-
09:22

Speaker 2
(laughs) Same here.
09:23

Speaker 1
We, we watched him so much. My kids are, uh, we make a joke out of it, and they just go, "Oh, it's Uncle Joe again. Uncle Joe's on." (laughs) Yeah, fabulous work.
09:35

Speaker 2
Mm. Because he does talk about especially when you meditate, he says, you know, as you were just explaining, be nobody, nowhere, no time. Just be. As you were saying that week, we, if, if she said to me, "Oh, hi Roberta. Nice to meet you, sir. So tell me about yourself," the first thing I'll say is, "I'm a podcaster," you know, instead of telling you who I am, not what I do.
10:02

Speaker 1
Yeah, because then it's like a human doing, not a human being. It's the same type of spiritual language, but he says it in such a way where people, everyday people that aren't, say, too inclined to look at spiritual gurus and things like that, will still connect to his work because he does it in a very grounded way.
10:25

Speaker 2
Mm-hmm.
10:26

Speaker 1
So if he's saying, you know, you're gonna go to your higher self and you're gonna just speak to your higher self, rather than that he says you're gonna imagine. Because what you're gonna see is a lot of people that do the channeling work, that bring through this information from source, we're all saying the same thing. We all have our own unique way of bringing that medicine into this physical realm. And with the experiences, our ego, our ego allows us to connect to those that are still living out of ego. And that's how we can bring through the information from source, use the ego's experiences to know how to connect it to those that need to hear those messages. Yeah.
11:08

Speaker 2
Do you think that some people shy away from spirituality because they think it's impractical? How is it gonna help me with real life situations?
11:18

Speaker 1
Yeah, and you know, right now because of the uprising of people talking more about spirituality, talking more about manifestation and meditation and the way that they go about it, there has been groups or individuals that when they go through that spiritual awakening, they become, I don't wanna say too spiritual, but just to relay it, would be they get so caught up in that experience of knowing that they are energy and they are spirit, that they forget that they're here to have a human experience. And you're meant to blend the two. You're meant to blend your intellect and your intuition.And so then they go very a- airy and very love and light and everything is, is love and light and all these things and, and this very, uh, I wanna say almost like a hippie sense.
12:13

Speaker 1
And so people that are in real life circumstances, getting divorces, in debt, having issues with their child, going through family situations, those people can't relate because they're like-
12:24

Speaker 2
Mm-hmm.
12:24

Speaker 1
... no, I have real life responsibility. I have real life things that I'm doing. I can't just say love is, uh, love and light, sell everything off and, and take off. I can't do... Also come to a place of understanding that everybody is on different levels of understanding who and what they are and out of respect for everybody else going through their game, you see why those things are important. You can't negate it. You can't say it's bad, I don't need it, I'm really this. This is what we truly are, and this is what I'm gonna live by. Although, that is part of their experience as well, right, as they come into being able to navigate. But you get into that fine line between being somebody that practices their spirituality or becoming somebody that gets so enamored with it and goes almost into like a spiritual psychosis thinking that they don't need anything, that they miss the mark on why we're here, w- what the purpose of our being is. And you know, that we went to Dr.
13:30

Speaker 1
Joe Dispenza because it really, it really, really blends the work that I do as well, uh, with that because you know how he says, and for those that aren't familiar with Dr. Joe's work, he essentially says that you have to go into nothingness, meaning negate all that you know. Negate your ego, right? Transcend out of the ego, go into nothingness, A.K.A. the light, our true selves, and then what do you want to feel when you're there? What do you wanna manifest for your life? You can use things such as a house or a car as icons, but you're not gonna attach, I want a car and then that's what it is. You're gonna use, utilize the feeling that that gives you and then you stay in that vibration and you go through life living in that vibration and you don't let the outside things dictate your feeling long enough for the frequency to actually catch up. So he says long enough for reality to then start to change and shift around you, which is actually in the quantum field.
14:34

Speaker 1
It is the reality which takes longer because of this physical realm we are energy, yes, but we are physical matter. And in this realm, we have space and time. Those two things take time-
14:49

Speaker 2
Mm-hmm.
14:49

Speaker 1
... and space to, to come together. And so we change our frequency, that can be instant. We stay in that frequency and then we have to give it that time and the space to allow those things to vibrate towards us, shift our reality.
15:06

Speaker 2
That's manifesting. So if I'm, wanna manifest the car, you said you stay in that vibration, in that frequency. Does that mean I think about the car all the time in my waking hours?
15:19

Speaker 1
No. And you know, that's... It's a crazy thing because so many people manifest and they don't realize that they've manifested because it hasn't been the item that they manifested or the person that they manifested. I, I talked to somebody and they were wanting to manifest a relationship and I was like, "Why?" And they said, "Well, I wanna have kids and I'm getting older and like I really, really wanna be a mom." Funny thing was she kept attracting like man-child guys. And so I said, "Okay, well, why do you want to be a mom?" "I wanna care for somebody. I wa- and I wanna do this and that." And I said, "Isn't that what you're kind of doing though?" (laughs) Because is that exactly not what you're getting? 'Cause she's thinking about the feeling, right, what it would feel like to be a mom, but she's been manifesting the very thing with... And it's been coming to her, it's just been coming through men that she would have wanted it to be her partner.
16:17

Speaker 1
And I was like, this is the thing, this is how we misconstrued it. But the car is just an icon that we place a value on. You have to understand, why do you want that car? Because what is the attachment that you have to that car? What is the meaning that you've attached to it?
16:33

Speaker 2
Can you give us another example where we do that, where we've actually attracted or manifested the thing we say, w- it just came packaged in a different way?
16:44

Speaker 1
Oh, yeah. You know what? It happens in a good light and it happens in what we would perceive or, or look at as a not so beneficial light or bad light, which is when you want money. I am in so much debt. I need to get this much money, then I'm going to be out of debt. Sometimes they even do get that amount of money and then they find themselves in debt again because the feeling, the expression that they've used to get it, to manifest it has been one of contraction. It's come out of fear, guilt and obligation. And when you create out of those realms, those spaces, those really, um, contracted portals, those are my big three pillars, you will get back those things. It happens in the sense of when you see individuals that own a beautiful big home and they still perceive themselves as being very in scarcity mentality. So even though they're living in this big house and they have these beautiful families, they're always stressed about bills or always waiting for that other shoe to drop.
17:51

Speaker 1
Your, your body, your mind doesn't know the difference. When you're living in that state of constantly feeling like that, thinking like that, what's the difference? Wha- who cares if you lose a house? Who cares if you're in debt? You're living like that anyways. And so you're manifesting it internally.... already.
18:09

Speaker 2
So now the patterns. You've, uh, given us example of someone in the relationships where she was having this pattern of having to mother someone. How do we raise our vibration to break that so that... 'Cause you know how we repeat cycles, you keep attracting the same guy, you keep doing the same dysfunctional thing and whatnot. How do we then break that pattern and start to do things differently?
18:35

Speaker 1
Yeah. So this is one of those things. We talk a lot about raising vi- vibration and sometimes it's not just the raising of vibration, but it's just the switch- switching up the placement. So for me, one of the things, when I say gifted, uh, spiritual teacher, one of the things is, I was blessed with during my awakening that I'm able to see patterns for individuals and it shows to me almost like a graph. So I can kinda see where they're out of alignment between what they are looking to, to experience and what they are experiencing.
19:07

Speaker 1
And so for individuals that want to change that frequency, they really need to understand that ego aspect of themselves because if you imagine it as you are, um, you created a game and you created that avatar that you're gonna play the game with and so you're like, "Okay, in this life I'm going to be Roberta and I'm f- or I'm gonna be, um, going into service work and, and I don't like these foods and I only wanna experience a little bit of culture," or whatever it is. You've created this avatar. And now you're playing the game, but you forget that you're holding the controller. You start to think you are the avatar, so you start contracting. "Okay, so I'm Roberta and...
19:51

Speaker 1
Oh no, those things don't apply to me because it's out of my league." Or, "I don't like those kinda things." Or, "These experiences are too big." Or you put yourself into boxes, so now you're contracted into, "I'm the avatar," but then now you contracted to, "I'm the avatar and I work really hard." And then you contract to, "I'm the avatar, I work really hard and so I'm burned out." And so you keep contracting yourself into these smaller boxes and it keeps getting darker and darker as some say, you know, you go into the darkness or you go into the shadow because each thing is overwhelming your truth, and so it looks like it's getting darker, it looks like it's getting darker. And so if you wanna change that vibration, you have to start to pull out. So I'm not burned out. It's not that I'm a hard worker. It's not that I work hard because I have to work hard. I don't have to work hard because if I don't work hard, these things are gonna happen.
20:51

Speaker 1
These things are not gonna happen because I'm, I've been taught that those things are gonna happen, but that's not really my experience. Or, that's been my experience, but it doesn't need to be. And so you just keep extracting, extracting as you expand and then you get to a place of being like, "Wow, that whole reality was formed out of these false impressions that I had just curated out of my ego, out of my senses, out of, uh, my, uh, life's experiences." But if I go back and I say, "Okay, if nothing mattered and I wanted to redefine my life for myself, how would I do it?" And you start stepping into that feeling, stepping into that vibration. Negate the past story, negate the reasons of that past story. Start redefining these things for yourself. That's how you truly alchemize the experience. But the other really magical thing is when you start to take your experiences in life and you, you're able to say, "Thank you." We talk a lot about gratitude, right?
21:50

Speaker 2
Yes.
21:51

Speaker 1
And, and how, I'm talking about this can go into so-and-so even murdered somebody in my family. You can have so much hate, aggression. Why could they d- how could, how could they do that? Could you ever get to a place of saying, "Thank you"?
22:12

Speaker 2
For murdering my family member?
22:15

Speaker 1
Could you imagine? Could you imagine being able to get to that place of being able to say, "Thank you?" How hard would that be?
22:22

Speaker 2
It's almost two decades ago, in my 20s, there's, uh, a guy I was dating. So somebody killed his younger brother. I- it was a hijacking. And him and his oldest brother, they found out this guy's living circumstances and why he did what he did, he was trying to rob the car and whatnot, 'cause they had bought the younger brother, he had done so well at university, they bought him a new car. So when they found out the murderer's very disturbing history that his parents, HIV, th- when they went to court, instead of being angry, him and his older brother together, instead of being angry when they found out, 'cause he's a doctor, the older brother's in mining, so when they found out his story, they actually asked the judge to reduce the sentence it was originally given. And my previous boyfriend, 'cause he's a doctor, he made sure that they get the best care, his parents. His mining businessman brother took care of his education. I'm like, "Are you guys serious?
23:26

Speaker 2
You just had your brother's funeral because of him and then you're helping just him, but his entire family? What am I missing here?"
23:34

Speaker 1
Yeah. But look, those are the, what they would also call, like, angels on Earth because if you, if you look at it too, if we didn't have hardships, if we didn't have destructive moments like something like that happening, would we have any compassion? Would we have a need to have compassion? Would we have a need to have understanding? Would we have a need to have forgiveness? Would we have a need to have doctors if there was no illness? We wouldn't even have an Anne Frank if there was no Hitler.
24:05

Speaker 1
There was actually a client that I had that I was talking to whose brother had passed away and it was just a very tragic mistake that happened to him his life.And I said to her, "Well, what came of it?" And she said, "Well, now my family, you know, life is short, you never know when you're gonna go, and now if we wanna do something, we go and do it." Where before they were living in this state of, you know, responsibility and just day-to-day obligation and routine and not really living, not really experiencing life, because there's all these other things that, you know, you have work, you have kids, you have this, you have that. But when her brother died, they, they spend more time together, they feel things more, they experience things, they, they think of something, they go do those things. And so that soul came through to say, "Okay, I'm gonna do this because it's going to force you guys to expand beyond w- how you were experiencing life.
25:07

Speaker 1
It will shake you to start to really live life." Um...
25:11

Speaker 2
Please, can you give us the tools that we can start to cultivate right now to prepare for the world, for what's happening now, and to also just be connected to ourselves much more?
25:28

Speaker 1
Absolutely. Uh, we could say, give you the tools, but truly it's more remind you of the tools that you have because they are already within you. And I know how cheesy that can sound, but it is your inner compass of understanding what contraction and expansion feels like within yourself. So, you ask, whatever you're doing in life, be it job or, or anything like that, you have to ask yourself, "Is this coming from a place of fear, guilt and obligation? Is that why I'm doing this?" And if it is, don't do it, 'cause it puts you further and further into contraction. If it makes you feel expansive, then you do it.
26:13

Speaker 2
Ashmita Arora, the gifted spiritual teacher, entrepreneur, and author. Please give us details of your book and where to find it and your website as well.
26:25

Speaker 1
Yes. So the book will be coming out very, very soon. There's gonna be some tidbits that are stated on my website, so you can find that at ashmitaarora.com. And if you're looking to book, uh, a soul session, find out why you're here, what your purpose is, or if you need overall clarity in your life, then I would invite you to also check out my website. And, um, that's Ashmita Arora, so A-S-H-M-I-T-A A-R-O-R-A dot-com. And yeah, I'd love to connect.
26:58

Speaker 2
Ashmitaarora.com. We'll put that in the show notes. Thank you so much for this very insightful conversation, and most importantly, helping us understand that we are always manifesting. We appreciate you being here today.
27:14

Speaker 1

Thank you so much, Roberta.
27:16

Speaker 2
My absolute pleasure. Don't forget to subscribe, leave a rating and a review on Apple and Spotify, and stay tuned for more episodes to come.