Speaking and Communicating Podcast

This podcast focuses on improving your communication skills both professionally and personally

>> Steve Lowell: Your audience wants to feel understood. They want to feel like Roberta gets me. Too. Many speakers are taught to tell stories to get the audience to understand them, rather than get the audience to feel understood themselves.

>> Robert Ndlela: Welcome back to the speaking and communicating podcast. I am your host, Roberta Ndlela. If you are looking to improve your communication skills, both professionally and personally, this is the podcast you should be tuning into. Communication and soft skills are, uh, crucial for your career growth and leadership development. Now, in this exciting month of May, we have an amazing lineup of guests for you. On Mondays, our special guests will be helping us with our inner communication. On Wednesdays, we have public speaking experts helping us with becoming better public speakers. And on Fridays, our guests will be showing us how to reach global audiences. So stay tuned. Share these episodes with those who will benefit from them and log on to Apple and Spotify and leave us a rating and a review. Now let's get communicating.

Steve Lowell is a multi award winning speaker and author

>> Robert Ndlela: Now, let's get communicating with Steve Lowell, hailing all the way from Canada where he says it's not typically cold this time of year. He is a multi award winning speaker, three times bestselling author and master trainer for high impact speakers with a track record where he's given over 3500 keynote speeches. Talk about a perfect guest for this show. And before I go any further, please help me welcome him to the show. Hey, Steve.

>> Steve Lowell: Hey. So glad to be here. Thanks for inviting me, Roberta.

>> Robert Ndlela: My absolute pleasure. Thank you for accepting the invitation. When I saw your profile, I thought, perfect guy. He should be here. We need to know more about your work because we're going to learn so much from it.

Steve started playing guitar when he was five years old

But before we get into that, please give us a little bit about yourself.

>> Steve Lowell: Sure. I can take you all the way back to birth if you want me to.

>> Robert Ndlela: We love that. And you know what we always say, Steve, is that people just jump into the work part. We want to know the human. I love pizza. I was. Oh, yes.

>> Steve Lowell: Okay, cool. We can do that. Okay. Well, when I was a little boy, I was very, very timid. I was very skinny. I had big, thick glasses. I was just like this scared, skinny little boy, you know? But one thing I was really good at, Roberta, is I was a good little guitar player. When I was five years old, I started playing guitar. And by the time I was six years old, I was quite good. And, uh, they put me on this little tv show, local tv show. And I just got really comfortable with being in front of people playing my guitar. When I got into high school, I was a nerdy thing. I don't know if you know what that means. But girls were not a problem for me because none of them were interested.

>> Robert Ndlela: Your mom could sleep at night. She knew no trouble coming your way.

>> Steve Lowell: I wasn't a popular guy anytime during that period, but I was a really good guitar player and I didn't sing, but I was always in front of the people on a stage playing guitar, telling stories and that kind of thing. So that by the time I was in my, uh, mid teens, I had a band, and we had had, uh, singers and all those things. And we started touring Canada. I learned how to sing a little bit, and I was always the frontman in the band. Like, I was always the guy on the stage that would speak with the audience. And then by the time we got to my twenties, we were quite professional. We had made some, some records. We had traveled the country. We had a little itty bitty fan club. Um, but then what happened was the band kind of broke up and I wanted to keep performing, so I learned how to sing a little bit. You know, by the time I was in my mid twenties, I was doing a solo show where it was just me and the guitar and I was singing. And what I tell people is this is how I got into speaking, because people would come and they would hear me sing and they would come to me and they'd say, you know, Steve, maybe you should just say the words. So I became a speaker, and in my mid twenties, I was having so much fun performing, and I just loved being on the stage. And, uh, I came across a video of a guy named Zig Ziglar. You may know this name.

>> Robert Ndlela: Yes. Growing up, you had him and Les Brown and Brian Tracy, all that motivational speaking originals. Yes. All the greats.

>> Steve Lowell: All the greats. And I saw this zig Ziglar tape, and I thought, what a great job he's got. I mean, he's on a stage, he's front of people, he's just saying things. He's got no guitars. His audience isn't drunk. He's got no band mates to fight with. He just, uh, he just got to stand there and say stuff. So I learned how to do that. Uh, and I joined a training company called the Dale Carnegie Training company.

>> Robert Ndlela: I know his books.

>> Steve Lowell: Yes, his books, right. And I became a certified trainer with them. But I left that organization because I didn't really believe in a lot of the things that they were teaching. So I left and started doing things on my own. And that's how things sort of progressed from there. And through the years, I got to meet Mister Zeigler a number of times. My wife and I are good friends with Brian Tracy, and we got to meet some of the most amazing people in the world through the professional speaking, uh, world. So it's been really quite a thing. And just for the record, I love pizza.

>> Robert Ndlela: Oh, yes. Good to know. That part of Steve, not just the work. Yes. Here's the thing about when you say you not only loved performing, you just loved being on stage. When somebody listens to you and thinks, but a lot of people are afraid, you never had the fear at all. Or studying the guitar at age five, you just got comfortable being around people and people watching you and you being the center of attention.

>> Steve Lowell: You know, I'm going to be 62 years old soon. That means I will have been on the stage for 57 years. And I still get stage fright every single day. Every single time. Now here's the difference. It's really how we use that fright. Now, people would call what I feel stage fright because I get nervous, my needs shake, my mouth gets dry, I get, you know, the butterflies. Like, I get all of those things, but I don't attach the word fright to it anymore. It's excitement for me now. And so what I do is I look forward to those feelings because those are the things that give me the juice to have a good time, to go and have fun, and even to take some risks and, and let my personality shine all by itself, I don't try and stop those feelings. If those feelings leave, then it's time for me not to do it anymore. Because that energy, the butterflies in the stomach and the hands, you know, the sweaty palms and the knees shaking and the wondering, am I going to be good? Are they going to like me? All of those things are part of the energy that I harness and put forth when I present. And so I don't want it to go away. I want that. I need that feeling because that's the energy that drives me.

Roberta: Many speakers are afraid of being judged in front of an audience

>> Robert Ndlela: Mhm. Please talk to us about the taking risks part.

>> Steve Lowell: It's a good question. I'm glad you caught that. I've trained speakers all over the world at every possible level, from beginners to seasoned professionals and everything in between. And one of the things that I've noticed, Roberta, that holds so many people back is that they think that when they get in front of an audience, there's a Persona that they need to project. And usually that Persona is a, uh, product of discomfort and fear. Many, many people, I would say most people, are really hesitant to let their authentic self shine in front of an audience, because what happens if they don't like me? What happens if I say something wrong or I say something stupid? What happens if they judge me or if I insult them or if I intimidate somebody? What happens? And all of these things happen because we're so, uh, afraid of being judged. So I learned long ago that being judged is going to happen whether I am myself or not, whether I do well or I don't, whether I am masterful or I'm a complete screw up, doesn't matter. I am going to be judged. And so I've gotten okay with being judged. I've gotten quite comfortable with being judged. So what that means is, if I'm not afraid that you're going to judge me, if I'm not afraid that you're not going to like me, if I'm not afraid that you're going to be offended, then I can do or say anything without personal repercussion. So what that means is the freedom in taking risks is I can feel free just to be my authentic self at any time. I can also feel free to put on an act. I can feel free to perform. I can feel free to try new material that have never tried before to see if it's going to work. I can feel free to try being funny in the moment. So it's just very freeing to take risks if you're not really that attached to the outcome. Now, when I take risks in front of an audience, which I do all the time, I don't get attached too much to whether or not they like me. But what I do get attached to is, was this effective? Like, did this achieve the outcome? When I'm speaking, and this is for all speakers, Robert, and I'm sure you know this, when you're a speaker, your job isn't to get people to like you. Your job is to change something within them. M your job is to have them become more than they were before you started speaking. However you make that happen, and if that means that they have to judge you, then so be it. If it means that you offend them a little bit, so be it. If it means that you excite them, inspire them, if you cause them to be enthused, if you cause them to think, challenge their beliefs, then that's what it takes. But the point is, when you don't take risks, you can't get the results right.

>> Robert Ndlela: What you just said, it's about them, because all that fear of judgment, fear of this, how do I look? All those subconscious fears or some of them. Conscious fears are, uh, based on the fact that you worry about yourself. Instead of thinking everything you said, how I impact them, how they're going to be changed after they've heard me speak. That should be the focus. Then those fears of judgment, etcetera, will take a backseat. And, I mean, look at the mode. The biggest judgment you used, and you used it to your benefit, which was, uh, Steve, maybe you'd want to say the words instead of singing them. Instead of saying, I will never be on stage again, which most people's reaction would be, you said, okay, maybe they're onto something. Maybe I should do the speaking thing and look where you are.

>> Steve Lowell: Yeah, it's true. And, you know, I mean, I, um. Back then, I knew I wasn't a very good singer. I knew that. And I was good enough to give people a nice time in the bar after they'd had enough drinks. You know, I was smart enough to know I'm not a great singer. I was a good speaker. And when I started doing the speaking thing professionally, it took me a lot of time to give myself permission to take risks. It took a lot of time, like, a lot of years, me to give myself permission to not put forth this facade that I thought people wanted to see and just let me be me. But when I came to that realization, like it was a life changing event. And so one of the ways that we can do this as speakers, one of the ways that we can achieve that freedom and that ability to take risks. Is to put ourselves in what I call a mindset of service. As you said it, you know, it's not about me. It's about them. It's about the audience. And so what I try and do, and I did it here before you came on this call with me, is I put myself in this mindset of service. I asked myself, how can I best serve. How can I best serve this audience today? How can I best serve Roberta? How can I best serve Roberta's audience and her listeners? How can I do that? And the answer is always the same. The answer is, give the very best of myself, whatever that requires at the moment. And when we have that mindset, it really is quite, you know, liberating for us when we get on the platform or on the screen or in front of a camera.

>> Robert Ndlela: Mindset of service that what speaking is. We love that, Steve.

Some people fall into the trap of thinking they should present themselves in Brian Tracy demeanor

Now, one of the other traps people fall into is that you said, you know, Brian Tracy, who is one of the original gurus in motivational speaking, some people fall into the trap of thinking they should present themselves in a Brian Tracy demeanor. Or if he is one of the best in the world, maybe I should be like him to be considered one of the best. And that's then the authentic self not showing up.

>> Steve Lowell: So I think there's a balance there, because you're exactly right. I did that for years, too. I emulated Zig Ziglar, you know, and now I'm from Canada, and he's from Yazoo City, Mississippi, so we don't sound anything the same. Right? But when I first started speaking, uh, you know, trying to find my speaking legs, I invoked the spirit of Zigzag Ziggler a lot. But here's the thing. I think it's like anything else, any other expertise, any other profession or craft, you draw inspiration from others who inspire you. And so there are things that Brian does that I really like. And Wayne dyer, you know, when he was alive, he was a big inspiration for me. I know a lot of speakers were great inspirations for me. It doesn't mean I want to be like them, but what it does mean is I take the best parts of them that I think merge with my personality, and I can use some of those. And so I believe that most of us, a big part of who we show up as are combinations from different influences. And it may not be speaker influences. It could be parental influences. It could be, you know, movie stars or just people, you know, teachers that you've grown up with, people who have formed the foundation of who we have become. Those foundations all often show up in how we show up. And so I think, you know, we don't want to copy somebody, but I think it's okay to borrow certain characteristics that we think work with our personality. And not to replace our personality, but to accentuate our personality.

>> Robert Ndlela: Absolutely accentuate. And I agree with you. I learned a lot, you know, from all of the ones that you've talked about. I was in high school when Tony Robbins came up with the tapes and the CDs. They were on an informational back home for an entire day. You borrow, like you said, you borrow bits and pieces, but you still morph into yourself, and you evolve. Like the Steve you are now is not the Steve you were when you started speaking. So you keep learning, growing, understanding more, learning more, all of that. So we're not against that. But I think sometimes people feel if I don't speak like Brian Tracy, I shouldn't even try to be on stage. So that's the trap we're trying to get them away from.

The biggest mistake that I see speakers make is underestimating their function

And then when you train speakers. You said you train high impact speakers. We touched a little bit earlier on the impact you should have on your audience. What are some of the tips you can give on how to create or prepare keynote that will have impact on your audience?

>> Steve Lowell: Right. Okay. So preparing the keynote is not the most important thing. The most important thing is understanding your function as a speaker. Here's the biggest mistake that I see speakers make. Speakers are under the misconception often that my job as a speaker is to transfer information. I need to get in front of an audience, and I need to teach them something. I need to solve a problem that they have. I need them to learn something. That is not the job of a speaker. That's the job of a teacher. The job of a speaker is not to transfer information, although the transfer of information, of course, happens. But that's not the function. The function is to transfer emotion. My job as a speaker is not to teach you what I know. My job as a speaker is to get you to feel about what I know, the way I feel about what I know. And now I change something in you that causes you to move forward. So if I can get you to feel about my message the way I feel about my message now I've inspired you. Inspire means in spirit. It doesn't mean talk to your head. It means I got to get past your intellect into your imagination and fundamentally change something in you. I need you as an audience member, and I want. And this is what every speaker should want for their audience. I don't want you to do this at the end of my talk. I don't want you to go. That was really cool. I really learned something. I can send you a PDF, and you can take it to the bathroom and read it and learn something. You don't need me for that, but I want you to do this. I want you to go. You know, I've never thought of it like that before. I need to do something different. That's what I want my audience to think. And so that isn't a thought as much as it is a feeling. It's. I want to challenge something that you think you know to be true. I want to challenge your beliefs. You know, I want to rattle your paradigms. I want to shake up your perspective. I want to change the way that you look at the nature of your condition or your life in some way where you go. I hadn't thought of it like that. I should try something new. Like, that's an exciting thing. I want my audience to feel. I don't want to deliver information. I use information as a vehicle to get past the intellect into the imagination and affect change at the visceral level.

How do we train high impact speakers? We first need to help them understand what

So all of that to say this, how do we train high impact speakers? We first need to help them understand what being a high impact speaker even means. It's not about the information. It's about you reaching inside that audience and stirring something in them so that they become more than they have been until this moment. It's not about teaching them something. Now, of course, teaching something happens, but, uh, that's not the purpose. You see, the purpose of speaking is to transfer emotion. The purpose of teaching is to transfer information. The purpose of coaching is to transfer skill. The outcome is different from teaching and coaching and speaking. But too many people think they're all the same thing, and they're absolutely not. So when you go to a conference and you hear 5610 speakers over the course of a day, or two or three days, you'll know this. When you walk out, how many do you remember? How many of those speakers have? Actually, uh, maybe one, maybe two. And if you think about those speakers that you remember, why did you remember them? It's because they've stirred something in you. They've changed you in some minute way, whereas everybody else, all they did was educate you, and you don't need them.

>> Robert Ndlela: For that, especially in the age of Google. Can you please share that one more time from, um, the way you describe the information? See, I'm falling into the information trap. The emotion. You said something so beautiful. How I feel about it is our one triple. Philip, please say that again.

>> Steve Lowell: So here's the simplest way to put it. I want you to feel about my message the way I feel about my message. That's the simplest way. My job as a speaker is to change the way you feel. I want you to be as excited about my message as I am, and I'm going to give you part of the message. But if I just give you the content, then it just goes into your brain, and as soon as the next speaker comes out, it leaves. Right. But if I change the way you feel, if I change the way you feel at the visceral level, I get you as excited about my stuff, as excited as I am about my stuff now, you're going to go and have a much higher probability of implementing and making changes in your actual life.

>> Robert Ndlela: Because wouldn't you say that a lot of the time we've heard the concepts?

>> Steve Lowell: Mhm.

>> Robert Ndlela: Unless you're in engineering and something new they're building, but just in general, a lot of speaking, the general concept, you've heard something about it before, but what makes Steve stand out from any other speaker who's talked about the same thing?

>> Steve Lowell: It's taking the concept and putting it into context. Another way to put it is what's missing. Anybody who can fog a mirror can tell people stuff. You know, anybody can get on a stage if they, you know, control the nerves a little bit. They can get on a stage and they can say things and speak words. Anybody can do that. A skilled speaker uses their words to get into the imagination in order to take the content and the concepts and give it context for the audience. So the audience goes, ah, uh, I know how I could use that. That is important to me, and here's why. And the audience knows why it's important to them. And as soon as your audience, you know how exciting it is when you learn something new that you go, I know how to use this. I'm going to make this change. I'm going to apply it there, and I'm going to try this. That is the excitement that a speaker needs to be able to implement, you know, with your audience.

Too many speakers tell stories for the purpose of getting audience to understand them

If you're listening to this, here's the challenge for your audience, and that is take a look at all the things that you're speaking about and ask yourself this question. Am I giving just the concepts, or am, um, I putting it into context for the audience? Am I just giving information, or am, um, I actually stirring their soul with something? And that's the difficult part. That's the part that separates a speaker from a really good speaker.

>> Robert Ndlela: And in stirring the soul, what part does, uh, storytelling play?

>> Steve Lowell: Yeah, storytelling always comes up. Obviously, it's a very important part of speaking, but it's widely misunderstood. It's very widely misunderstood from a lot of perspectives. So I'm just going to cover a few of them here now. Okay?

>> Robert Ndlela: Yes.

>> Steve Lowell: Okay. When you ask the speaker, why do you tell stories? They'll say, well, it's because I want to take my concepts and put it into context for the audience. Right. That's one. Uh, I also want to entertain the audience, which is correct. I want to give a little bit, you know, make it funny for the audience. You have them laugh. All that is correct. But here's the thing. Your audience, more than anything else, wants to feel understood, which means your audience, and, um, they may not do this consciously, but they want to feel like, you know what? Roberta gets me? She gets me like, she understands exactly my life. Too many speakers are taught to tell stories to get the audience to understand them, rather than get the audience to feel understood themselves.

>> Robert Ndlela: Please say that again.

>> Steve Lowell: Yeah. So too many speakers tell stories for the purpose of getting the audience to understand the speaker. The audience wants to feel understood themselves by the speaker. So I want to tell stories that make you feel that's me. Let me give you an example. This is a story that I use all the time, and I open up a lot of my keynotes with this story. In, uh, fact, I'm going to ask you the question, and, uh, I asked the audience this question. Put up your hand if you or somebody you know is in the market for a tennis instructor. And I asked the audience, put your hand up like this. Do you know anybody who's in the market for a tennis instructor?

>> Robert Ndlela: I know someone.

>> Steve Lowell: Yeah, you do know someone. Okay. I've asked this question to audiences, uh, of thousands of people, and that's by far the most hands that have ever gone up. Okay? So every now and then, hands go up. Okay? But when I do this in front of an audience of, uh, let's say, 100 people, okay, maybe one hand will go up. So I tell the audience this. Um, I say, you know, we have one hand out of 100 people, and I'm going to guess that at least 50 of you are either in the market for a tennis instructor right now or, you know, somebody who is. And that's what I get. The audience goes, really? How you going to do that? So I set that up to tell a story. And here's the story. Let me take you back about 18 years. Guy named Brian walks up to me, and he says, steve, he says, I'm going to all the networking events. I'm shaking all the hands. I'm meeting all the people. I'm, um, making all the phone calls. He said, I'm just not getting the business that I need. I said, well, Brian, what do you do? He says, I'm a tennis instructor. So we taught Brian a very fundamental principle, that anytime you, uh, speak in front of an audience about yourself or your business, you're either positioning yourself as somebody they need or somebody they don't. And those are the only two rules, the only two options. So, right now, when I said to Brian, when you're saying, I'm a tennis instructor, you're presenting yourself as somebody they don't need. So we taught him how to present himself a little bit differently. And now, if you saw Brian today and you said, brian, what do you do? He would say, well, you know how sometimes kids, they have so much energy, and they get so excited, and they're bouncing off the walls, and they're yelling and screaming and having all kinds of fun. And the parents have no idea what to do with these kids. He'd say, well, what I do is, I take kids of any age, I bring them on a tennis court. I absolutely exhaust them, and then I hand them back to their parents.

>> Robert Ndlela: Problem solved.

>> Steve Lowell: Now I ask the question to the audience. Put up your hand if you just might know somebody who's in the market for tennis instructor. And all of a sudden, 90% of the hands in the room go up. Okay?

>> Robert Ndlela: Now, because it's not the tennis. It's the solve the kid problem.

>> Steve Lowell: Everybody in the audience who puts their hand up now goes, he's right. That's us. That's me. I get it. That's how you make your audience feel understood. I could tell that story completely differently, and the story becomes about me. Okay? So I could do it this way. I could say, let me tell you about this guy named Brian. He said, steve, I'm going to all the networking groups. I'm having so much trouble. I'm making all the calls, talking to all the people. I'm not getting the results. I said, well, Brian, what do you do? He'd say, well, I'm a tennis instructor. So I taught Brian that he had to change the way that he speaks in order to get the clients. So what we did was we taught him how to tell the audience that he brings children on a tennis court and exhausts them so that the audience feel that he can really help them. But I could tell that story, but the audience is over there now. It's not about the audience. So it's not so much the stories that we tell, Roberta, although sometimes it is, but usually, usually it's about how we tell them.

Many speakers have been led down the hero's journey path

And so many speakers have been and are still being led down this hero's journey path. You know, the whole hero's journey. Have you've heard about the hero's journey?

>> Robert Ndlela: I know the hero's journey, yes. Ah, it gets mentioned a lot here, too.

>> Steve Lowell: It gets mentioned a lot here, and that's fine. And it's, you know, it's kind of the old school thing. But here, the problems with the hero's journey are these, number one is, it's based on fantasy. If you look at the history behind the hero's journey, it's for Lord of the Rings, right? It's for that. It's for a fantasy movie. So the hero journey itself is not really suited to real life stories. And I always tell my speakers this. Your story has to be true. It absolutely has to be true, because if I catch you in a lie one time, I don't believe anything else you say. So your story must be true. And in most true stories, the hero's journey model just simply doesn't apply. But there is something called the heroine's journey, and the heroine's journey is much less, you, uh, know, known than the hero's journey. And here's the difference. Generally, the heroine's journey is how we apply storytelling to ladies. So a lot of my clients are ladies. Their journey is generally different. And here's the difference. The hero's journey model is about external events. Okay? You're going about your life. This thing happens. There's a call to adventure, and then you make a decision. You take that path or this path, and then you meet this person, and you have this challenge, and it's all external as you roll out the story. The heroine's journey is not that. The heroine's journey is an internal journey. It's about, you know, you're going about your life. You feel good about your identity. Then something comes up and challenges your identity. And now you start questioning, am, um, I this person or am I that person? And how is this making me feel? And these are feelings I've never experienced before. I don't know what to do with these feelings. The whole journey is inside.

>> Robert Ndlela: That's who we are.

>> Steve Lowell: That's who we are. And so the reason that this is important is because when I can tell a story, or if you can tell a story that takes the audience on the heroine's journey, even if the audience is full of men, they still experience the inner journey. Your audience, they might think to themselves, yeah, that's me. I get that. I have felt that. I have thought that I have experienced that. And now you've got this result where they're saying, she really gets me. But if all I'm doing is telling story about all the external things that have happened to me in my life, unless those exact things have happened to you, you're not going to be able to relate. But if I can get past your intellect into your imagination and talk about the feelings, talk about the thoughts, talk about the fears, talk about the joys, talk about the love, talk about the connection, talk about the anger, if I can get all of that in there, some of it is going to touch your soul, and you're going to go, yeah, that's me. I recognize that. And that's what we need to master as speakers.

>> Robert Ndlela: And that's why you're a Canadian, I'm south African. If you tell a story that touches all those emotions, all those barriers have gone. We connect on a human level. And that's why out of ten keynote speakers on that day at a conference, I'm going to remember yours.

>> Steve Lowell: Right? Because something has touched inside of you that has stirred something. And it's not always purely emotional. Sometimes it's changing the way you think. Sometimes it's challenging a belief. Have you question that which you thought you knew to be true? If I can get you to change your perspective, I should think differently about this. That's equally as effective.

There are three principles of language that a speaker needs to master

So, in the stories, and this is not easy to do. This is why storytelling can be really challenging for a lot of people, is it's easy to talk about the events, but how do you talk about the internal stuff in a way that the audience can receive it? See, it goes down to this. There are three principles of language that I teach speakers, and this helps along this path. Three principles of language. And when I say language, I'm not just talking about your words. I'm talking about everything about you that expresses your facial expression, your eyeballs, your hand movements, your body movements. You, uh, know, the tone of your voice, the sound of your voice, the pitch of your voice, the speed of your voice. Everything that expresses. We wrap that up into the concept of language. Okay, so, three principles of language that a speaker needs to absolutely master. Number one is we want the language to be visual. Now, that means that with our words and with our communication skills, with, uh, our language, we want to put a picture in the mind of the audience. Because if we put a picture in the mind of the audience, they become a co author of the story instead of a passive recipient. Okay? So one of the. The exercises I do with this is I'll ask the audience, and I'll do it with you, and I'll ask your listeners to play along in their heads. Okay? I'm going to say three words. Three words. And then I'm going to ask you a question. Okay? Here are the three words. Young, beautiful bride. So, Roberto, what color is her hair?

>> Robert Ndlela: Black.

>> Steve Lowell: Where is she? Standing?

>> Robert Ndlela: At the altar.

>> Steve Lowell: Who's she with?

>> Robert Ndlela: Her groom.

>> Steve Lowell: What's she wearing?

>> Robert Ndlela: A wedding dress. White.

>> Steve Lowell: I didn't give you any of that.

>> Robert Ndlela: You said bride, Steve.

>> Steve Lowell: Right. I said young, beautiful bride. I gave you three words, and from those words you contrived, she's standing at the altar, she's got black hair, wearing a wedding dress, and she's with the groom, I didn't give you any of those. I gave you three words. You created the visual in your mind. Now you become a co author of the story. Now, I could have done this. I could have flashed up a PowerPoint slide with a picture of a young, beautiful bride. And now you become a passive recipient. You see it, your eyes take a snapshot of it, and I haven't engaged you in any way whatsoever. But now you are creating the story. You see? So that's the power of visual language. I want to create a visual in the audience's mind so that they start to see it, and they use their own belief systems, their own memories, their own creativity, everything about them to craft their own version of the story in their mind. So visual is so important, and it's not about showing a PowerPoint slide. Show a PowerPoint slide, and you eliminate all mental participation from the audience. Period. Dead stop. Okay. Create the visuals with your words.

The second principle of language is we want it to be emotional. Now, that doesn't mean we jump up and down

The second principle of language is we want it to be emotional. Now, that doesn't mean we jump up and down, yell, scream, or cry, although that could happen. But that's not what it means. It means that when we're speaking, we use our language, our body language, our facial expressions, our voice, our countenance, everything about us, to give the audience the proper emotional context of the story. You can tell by hearing me speak that I'm very passionate about this. You can feel this, right? That's emotional language. I'm not saying how excited I am and how passionate I am. You can see it, you can feel it, you can hear it, you can sense it, you can express it, experience it, because of the language, because of everything about me that expresses. So this is what we need to do with our audiences when we stand there at a lectern with a bunch of notes and say the words, anybody can do that. And you can get an AI avatar to do that. You don't need a speaker anymore. I want the audience not just to know and see this message in their mind, but I want them to know how it's supposed to feel. And I want you to know how I feel about it. So eventually, you can become excited about it. So two principles of language. To start with visual, they need to see it in their mind. Emotional. They need to know what the, uh, emotional context is. And the third principle is, we need to put it in motion. Now, what that means is this. It means when we tell the story, there needs to be a flow that the audience can watch unfold in their mind's eye. Now, when I say young, beautiful bride. That's just a static image that you create. But when I tell the story, if I can complete a story, I need to have a beginning, a middle, and an end. But I need to take this person on a journey so that the audience can watch the journey unfold in their mind. So many speakers are taught to tell a story in terms of a sequence of static images, static points, but that you can't do that. If you want to reach an audience, the audience needs to see it. They need to feel the emotional context, and they need to watch it unfold on the screen of their mind. That's how you get through with stories.

>> Robert Ndlela: You know what? You just described audience engagement, and I've never heard of it being put like that before. And we've talked about audience engagement so.

>> Steve Lowell: Many times now you see what just happened. You hear the words you just said. I've never heard it put that way before. That's what you want your audience to say. That's what you want them to think.

Another massively misunderstood principle in speaking is audience engagement

So let's talk about audience engagement, okay? Because again, another massively misunderstood word in the world of speaking, there is audience physical engagement. Get them to raise their hand, get them to answer questions, you know, get them to do things. Uh, bring a volunteer on the stage. Like, there are techniques for all of those things, and they are good, they are legitimate. But so many people do them so poorly that they lose control of the room or the demonstration doesn't have any impact. Or, like, there's all kinds of risk involved in getting the audience to actually engage. Just getting the audience to put up their hand and say, me too. That's not engagement. That is not engagement. Because what happens is it just becomes a mechanical approach, and people will stop participating, they will start complying, and then they'll tune out altogether. Engagement doesn't just happen physically. Most audience engagement happens up here. It happens in their mind, it happens in their soul, it happens in their heart. I hear a lot of people say, I need to get some engagement in my talk. If you want to get engagement, be engaging. Engagement isn't something you always have to do to an audience, and engagement isn't something the audience always has to do. Engagement is getting that mind connected, getting that soul connected. It's like when you're sitting in front of the tv watching Yellowstone for 9 hours at a time every day for a month. You're engaged and you're not.

>> Robert Ndlela: That's an understatement.

>> Steve Lowell: You're sitting butt down on that couch, eating popcorn, drinking beer, whatever it is, you're doing and your eyeballs are kind of right on the tv 9 hours at a time. You are fully engaged and you're not doing anything. So audience engagement is another highly misunderstood principle in speaking.

>> Robert Ndlela: Engage the heart, the mind and the soul. Oh my goodness. That is life changing experience.

>> Steve Lowell: That's a life changing. If you get me up and shake somebody's hands and look into their eyes, that's not a life changing experience for me. But if you get me thinking inside, how can I use this? This is amazing. I haven't thought of this before. This is going to change so many things. That's how you change me.

>> Robert Ndlela: And you certainly changed us.

Steve Lowell is three times bestselling author and master trainer for high impact speakers

Uh, Steve Lowell from Canada, the multi award winning speaker, uh, three times bestselling author and master trainer for high impact speakers. Steve, you are three times bestselling author. Please tell us about your books.

>> Steve Lowell: Yeah, sure. The first one I wrote in 2011 and it's called from Stage Fright to Spotlight. In fact, I want to give a copy of this to all of your readers, all your listeners, uh, so they can do that. You'll put the link, I'm sure, go to Steve lowell.com free book and they can download this book right away. From stage fright to Spotlight 99 speaker secrets to breaking the rules and mastering the stage. So that's a really great book for anybody who's speaking, whether it's, you know, beginning or even season, professionals have read this book and get, get some really great value out of it. Um, then I wrote a book in 2011. This is a much deeper book called Deep Thought Strategy. Deep thought strategy is taking experts, thought leaders and bringing them deep into their wisdom and knowledge so that we can come up with something that they can present that makes them appear to be profoundly different than everybody else. And that takes an enormous amount of work. But the concepts are in deep thought strategy. And the next one, this is a compilation book that my wife Jane and I wrote with Brian Tracy. Yeah. And this went to number one international bestseller as well. And you can get that on Amazon. Uh, and what that is, is we partnered with Brian and we brought a bunch of our clients together and they all wrote a chapter in here. So great compilation book. A great opportunity to work with the great Brian Tracy that's out there as well. So those are the three best selling books.

>> Robert Ndlela: Excellent stuff.

Roberta: Start with downloading emerge be the unmistakable authority in your field

I think I interrupted you and, uh, the mic did the overtook. Please tell us the title of the one with Brian Tracy again so that the listeners can hear it.

>> Steve Lowell: Yeah, yeah. It's called emerge. The book is called emerge be the unmistakable authority in your field. We did a. An event with Brian, uh, a virtual event, back when COVID just hit. He was supposed to come to Ottawa. It was going to be a live event. But then COVID hit, and of course, he couldn't come. So we did a three day virtual event, and we had all our speakers there speaking with him, you know, as part of the agenda. Part of that experience for them was they get to write a chapter in the book with Brian. And so we made that deal with Brian, and he's got a chapter in there.

>> Robert Ndlela: And, uh, yeah, absolutely amazing emerge. I'm going to put all those details in the show notes. Thank you for the gift, first of all. And if we want to learn more about these different ways of having impact that you've shared with us today, where can we find you online?

>> Steve Lowell: Yeah, well, start with downloading the book, because then you'll be in our system and we will keep you informed on all the things that are going on. Uh, but you can find out about me at, ah, stevelowell.com dot. Everything is there, but I do recommend you download the book because that's how you're going to stay informed. Yeah. Uh, so there's a lot there.

>> Robert Ndlela: Absolutely wonderful stuff. Steve, you have taught me all the things that you've talked about, the impact, that's the impact you've had today. I've done so many interviews, but I've thought differently about some concepts and you've put them in a different context, and you've stirred my emotion and my thought process on some of them. So thank you so much. And I know that the listeners, you've had the same impact on them as well.

>> Steve Lowell: Well, I hope so. And I appreciate the opportunity to be here. You know, I do many podcast interviews as part of our marketing strategy. I love being on them. And you know what? One of the best things, Roberta, about doing podcast interviews like this is meeting some of the best people in the world, like you, podcast hosts are. I mean, you know, I don't do a podcast. I mean, it's way too much work for me to do a podcast. You m guys are a special breed and you bring amazing content to your listeners. And I particularly like your podcast because it kind of is true to my heart, you know? And so, um, I'm a big fan, and congratulations on the work you're doing. Keep it up.

>> Robert Ndlela: I really appreciate those kind words, Steve. Thank you very much.

Steve Lowell is multi award winning speaker and three times bestselling author

That was Steve Lowell, multi award winning speaker, three times bestselling author. One of the books we will share on the show notes how you can download it for free. And he's given over 3500 keynote speeches and over 5000 seminars. This has been absolutely fantastic. Steve, thank you for the impact you've had on us today.

>> Steve Lowell: Happy to be here.

>> Robert Ndlela: My pleasure. Thank you for joining us on the speaking on, um, communicating podcast.

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