Speaking and Communicating Podcast

Hello, my name is Roberta and welcome to the speaking and communication podcast. I feel really privileged today to be recording the very first episode of this podcast. I hope you enjoyed the trailer and that it made you look forward to so many more episodes to come, very exciting and very valuable information that you will find as we go on.
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So today I wanted to touch on an experience that I had, which was quite an eye-opener for me. It was an experience that involved my much younger brother. Now I am 45 years old and my parents, when I was 23 years old, yes, you heard that, right? More than two decades old, my parents decided to have another baby boy.
00:59
So there I was being the biggest sister, very protective, always coming to the rescue and loving him as if he were my very own. So the other day, he is now 22 years old. He goes to college, he's in acting school and he loves it. He's got so many things he's passionate about. And the other day, he shared an experience with me that we had an exchange when he was a teenager.
01:29
And before I share this experience with you, I want you to think about this quote. Someone once said, you have two ears and one mouth, use in proportion. Now, back to the story with my baby brother. When he started his teenage years, I had just found out about the emotional freedom technique, EFT.
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also known as tapping. This is when in order to deal with your emotions and the subconscious healing that needs to take place, that you use this tapping around some of the meridian points around your body. If you watch some YouTube videos, so you buy a book on EFT, they will guide you on what points to tap on in your body. So I had just discovered this technique.
02:28
almost a decade ago. And I thought to myself, my baby brother's in pain. Big sister instincts kicked in and I wanted to come to his rescue. I've just discovered this nugget and I can't wait to share it with him so that I can ease his pain. I came home, I shared it with my mom and our other brother. And after dinner, my mom said,
02:57
Let's get started. Big sis has a big, big idea that she wants to share with us tonight and let's all pay attention. So there I was, I started to explain to them, et cetera. I could see that my baby brother was very sad. Now the first thing on my mind was obviously, oh, this thing is really killing him and I really need to push this so that he can feel so much better. I wish I could take his pain away.
03:27
So fast forward to the other day when he reminded me of the accident, of the incident, because I only said to him, pumpkin, I call him pumpkin. I said pumpkin. You only say I love you, Pixies. I love you, Pixies. You do so much for me. Has there ever been a moment when I pissed you off? And he said, of course. And then he remembered this incident. He said to me when I
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brought home this idea of EFT or tapping that he was so angry with me. He said, Sis, I did not like you that day. I said, but why I was trying to help you. And here's the way the light pipe went on for me. He said, you could have asked me how I was dealing with my pain. You could have asked me what my
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outlets were and what my coping mechanisms were. You just assumed that whatever you came with was the best way for me to be able to heal my pain. Boom. So my next question was, but pumpkin, we were raised to express ourselves. You always tell me if you're upset about something. Why didn't you tell me back then? He said,
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I didn't want to be the weakest link. I didn't want to be the only one in the family not participating when everyone was in on it. I had absolutely no idea. First of all, I didn't know that he had his own coping mechanisms, his own athletes, that he played soccer.
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I remember he wrote poetry, but I had no idea that that's how he was dealing with his pain. But hey, you know, what did I think he knew? He was only a teenager and I was big sister and I knew best, at least I thought. So here I was having this big moment almost a decade later of realizing that when it comes to communication, no matter how well intentioned we are, it's always best.
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to us.
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It's always best to ask the person in pain, how can I be there for you? How would you like me to be there for you? Instead of just assuming that because we are in a better position of authority or we are older, that in assuming that we know better and therefore don't even take the chance to ask them
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best we can be there for them. Now this can also translate to our business relationships. If you think about it, and Matthew Ben said this very well, he said, one of the greatest lies of life we've been told is that we must follow our passion. He said that's really
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stormed into our home with all the passion in the world to teach my family what I thought was the best thing for us. If whatever pain we're feeling, this is going to help us. Only to realize that not always the case. So how do we do this in our business relationships? When we think, oh, my passion is this, my passion is that. And we actually don't take the time to ask our customers,
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problem with and how can I solve it for you?
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We can't just assume that just because we have passions that that's what people are looking for in our business relationships. Every time you walked into the room and they say, my passion is this, I can do this, I'm good at this. Every single client is asking themselves the question, W-I-I-F-M, what's in it for me?
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Sounds great to have a passion at all, but hey, and then what, how does that help me? Therefore, this shows that communication is really a two-way process. As I said in the beginning, someone once said, do you have two ears and one mouth? Use them in proportion. I hope you enjoyed today's episode.
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Thank you very much and I look forward to being with you again in the next episode. Goodbye.