How to Stop People Pleasing w/ Martin Salama

you know, every relationship you want to make your partner happy. But I was going above and beyond that. I was making sure she was not unhappy. I would do everything I can to make sure. Welcome back to the Speaking and Communicating podcast. I am your host Roberta. If you are looking to improve your communication skills, both professionally and personally, this is the podcast you should be tuning into.
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My guest today is both an architect and an author. And by architect, I mean the architect of the warrior's life code. He is the author of an amazing book from warrior to warrior and a life coach, which most of it is influenced by his experiences. Martin Salama is here to talk to us today about why we people please.
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why we struggle to get out of our comfort zones and how we can control our emotions instead of being nuclear reactors. And before I go any further, please help me welcome him to the show. Hi, Martin. Hi, Roberta. I'm so excited to be here with you. Thank you so much for having me. Thank you for being on the show. Welcome. It's truly my pleasure to have you as our guest today. Please introduce yourself. Like you said, my name is Martin Salama. I'm the architect of the Warriors Live Code.
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and I live in Brooklyn, New York, and I've been a life coach, and I mean life, L-I-F-E in big letters for the last 10, 12 years, because to me, life is everything that I believe in, and it stands for live incredibly full every day. Live incredibly full every day. Are we really capable of doing that when there's so much being thrown at us? You know what, that's a great question, Roberta, and it's all about how we're looking at things and how we accept them in our lives.
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And to me, when I say live incredibly full every day, to me, it means being happy and having a meaningful life. Because you could be happy without doing anything meaningful. And you could be doing meaningful work every single day and not be happy. So it's finding both of those things in your life and finding the love of appreciation for those that will lead for you to say, what's being thrown at me?
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instead of how can I just accept what's coming and use it to the best of my ability, if possible. Yes, those are the intricacies that we're gonna look into later. But please give us a little bit of background about how you got started on this journey. Sure, absolutely. Well, when I was a kid, I had a tragedy in my life. I lost my five-year-old brother, Michael, when I was 10 years old to a school bus accident. And that shaped me for the next pretty much 40 years of my life.
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Because at that moment I realized I'm the only boy left to have four older sisters. It's up to me to make sure that my parents are always happy, right? Because they went through such a tragedy as did I, but nobody told me this, I told it to myself. So as a result of that, I became a people pleaser because I wanted to make sure my parents were happy. And then I just adopted that into my life altogether. And when I got married,
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I was trying to please my wife, I was trying to please my family, I was trying to please my children, whoever was around me, that was my thing. And it took me close to 40 years to realize I was a people pleaser, pleasing no one. But I would do it all the time. And I would rationalize that the reasons I was doing that was for the greater good. And now looking back at the going through all my life experiences and becoming that life coach, I realized that the word rationalize
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is really two words, rational lies. I have never heard of it being put that way. Wow, rational lies. You rationalize to yourself that the lies you tell yourself are what's needed for the other people to be pleased. Right, exactly. So I came up with a card deck, and it's also in my book that you mentioned about rational lies. Whenever you think you may be doing something that goes against your values,
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you'll rationalize all the reasons why it's okay. What you're really doing is lying to yourself that it's rational to think that. They're nothing more than rationalize. The funny thing about people pleasing is that it seems, I don't know if that was your experience as well, it seems as though the goalpost continues to shift. Just when you think, okay, I've done enough to please this person, there's a new thing tomorrow that you need to do more. It just never ends. Yes, absolutely.
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No. Absolutely. Yeah. And for me as a people pleaser, what I also found was because I was a people pleaser, I was a control freak, right? Because I wanted to make sure that everybody was going to be happy. I took everything personally because if it wasn't working out the way I wanted it to be, then I was personally involved. And I was always looking for the recognition. You know, when you're a people pleaser, you want people to say, wow, you did such a great job. You're the king of the world. You know?
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You're the best thing since sliced bread. You don't want all that. You want people to say the greatest thing ever. And when all those things aren't happening, for me, I became somebody that reacted. I had a very short temper. I would react or even overreact, or like I like to say, I was like a nuclear reactor because you never knew when I was gonna explode. And when I did, it didn't matter who was around me. I would leave fallout all over the place. And then I'd have to go back.
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and fix those things. And I would apologize and say something, you know, Roberta, I'm really sorry I did that, but you know, you set me off. You did this, you did that. That's not an apology. That's really a rationalize or justifying what you did. So when you blow up, I'm guessing the things had built up over time and that's the moment of explosion. It could be, it could be. I had a very short temper. It could be anything that would set me off. Oh, wow.
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Because at the time when you people please, obviously you don't honestly express that this is what you're feeling or this is how you are feeling based on what your interaction with them. And so you keep that in and it builds up and it builds up on your chest. You know how your chest just keeps pumping up and that's when it explodes. Exactly. Now I call myself a recovering people pleaser. When you're a people pleaser, for the most part, when you're deep into it, you don't say, oh, I'm a people pleaser.
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for the most part, just doing it because you think it's the right thing to do. Right. Until somebody starts to help you figure out that, you know what, you're not taking care of yourself, you're taking care of everybody else. And maybe that's your way of looking for love, or in my case, my first marriage. I found out after going through the divorce and everything that I'd gone through, which happened as a result of what happened in 2008, wasn't the only thing, we were both.
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victims and we were both culprits into the solution of the marriage. But what I realized was is that I loved her more than she loved me. And as a result, this is something I wrote about in my first book 10 years ago, recovering from divorce. Now, this is my opinion. There's no science behind this. But I believe the one that loves less has the control in the relationship. Because the one that loves more is trying to do everything they can to get the one that loves them less to love them more. You know?
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So they'll go out of their way for me. You know, every relationship you want to make your partner happy. Yeah. But I was going above and beyond that. I was making sure she was not unhappy. I would do everything I can to make sure to get her little. And it was really looking back now is my way of getting her to love me more. But looking back, you know, about a year after 2008 when we lost everything was our 24th anniversary and she asked for the divorce other than our four children.
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It was the best gift she ever gave me. Wow. So you mentioned control in two scenarios now, in the people pleasing and the fact that she had control over the marriage. What is it about control that we don't seem to nail to get? Yeah, it's part of your emotional reactions or your emotional actions, as it were. For me, I believe anger comes from fear, okay? If you're fearful of something,
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it could manifest itself in anger because you're not getting your way or you're not. So if you could understand that you could only control yourself, don't allow anybody to control you and you don't control anybody else. Now you're starting to shift that mindset from the reactionary to more of a responding. So don't control someone else and don't allow someone else to control you, which then brings us to.
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you say life in capital letters, live incredibly full every day. Right. When we have so much to deal with and like we said earlier, you're explaining that if you have all this worrying when the people around that you love and you're trying to have these good relationships, is it possible to still live incredibly full every day? Yeah, it is possible.
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But what happens, the worry goes within yourself. It goes into your cellular being, okay, when you're worrying, because it's really about whatever else is going around you and your lack of control. To me, worry is connected to the whole control issue. You're worried because you can't control what's going on. For example- It's the control again. Right, there it is. For example, Chicken Little, the sky is falling, the sky is falling.
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If the sky is falling, can you do anything about it? No, so running around screaming about it isn't gonna make the sky stop falling. So if you could understand that the worry is what's holding you back, you could then start to understand that that's bringing you a mindset of scarcity, a mindset of lack and fear and everything that we were talking about earlier. And you could shift it to a mindset of abundance. And I go even a little deeper.
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I talk about there's two types of mindsets. There's a mindset of self-awareness, but there's also a mindset of self-conscious. Most people think they're self-aware, but when I explain to them the difference between the two, they start to realize that they really aren't self-aware, they're more self-conscious. And again, it's another card in my deck. Please explain that to us, because I'm wondering what the difference is. Okay.
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So here's the card, self-aware versus self-conscious. So self-conscious comes from a place of negative energy, guilt, conflict, doubt. Self-conscious is more outward directed. It's being more concerned about what others are thinking of you and how the situation is going to affect you. You probably react to uncomfortable situations instead of respond. When you're self-conscious, you're questioning your decisions.
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There's a little more to it, but that gives you the gist. Right. Self-awareness comes from a place of positive energy, acceptance, contentment, and self-assuredness. Self-awareness is more inward-facing. You have an accurate and realistic understanding of how you are responding to situations and how you feel about things. So self-conscious is outward, as you say.
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And therefore that means also there's that element of how do people see me? Is that a bit of a people pleasing element? Absolutely. Absolutely. And it's also the ego coming in. Right. Self-conscious has to do with the ego. Self-awareness has to do more with the humility in you. Right. I look at ego and humility as the two sides of the coin. Okay. The two sides of the spectrum.
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I'm not saying you shouldn't have an ego that you should always be humbled because the greatest leaders in the world in history had a strong sense of humility as well as being a leader. So it's understanding where you stand as a leader and not trying to force your beliefs or whatever it is you're leading on onto others. When you're being self-conscious, it's your ego feeding you or you wanting to please others, which is your ego again.
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We have two or three personalities who we truly are, how we want to be perceived or how we think we're being perceived or something like that. Right, and how others perceive us. And how others perceive us. Sorry, that's the third one actually. How others perceive us. So the self-conscious would be how we want to be perceived? Yeah, yeah. The picture we're painting, the mask, sorry. How we want others to look at us. Ah. But...
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really, is it a mask? Is it a facade? Is it really you? Or are you putting on the airs to prove to someone else that you can be new or whatever? What if someone listening thinks, but isn't that me trying to be better? You know, the growth, the, you're a life coach. I'm trying to be a better version of myself. What would you say to that? Oh yeah. So first you have to question, are you being a better version of yourself for you or for someone else? Right. So for example,
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I had already decided when my wife asked for the divorce that I was going to live coach training. And I could have easily said, oh great, whatever I'm gonna do here, or therapy, or coaching, or whatever I was gonna be doing, am I doing it because I wanna save my marriage? Am I doing it because I wanna win her back? Or am I doing it because I wanna be a better me? Do I wanna be a better me for her, or do I wanna be a better me for me? And when I made that switch,
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and understanding, okay, the marriage is gone, it's over. And looking back now, like I said, it was a great gift because going through the live coach training, I learned that I was a people pleaser. I knew I had a short temper, but that I was a control freak and that I needed the recognition and all those things. And it was at that time that I said, okay, I need to become a better me and stop being that people pleaser. So one of the first things I started to do was say to myself,
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I'm going to take care of myself first, as long as nobody else is getting hurt in the process. If I'm going to say, I'm going to rob a bank because I need a million dollars, well, that's not a good thing. Somebody's going to get hurt. Someone's going to get hurt. So as long as it's right. And that helped me to build my self-confidence, my self-awareness, my self-esteem and start to like myself. Part of the reason why I was afraid of getting divorced was I was afraid nobody would ever love me.
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And that was because deep down inside, I didn't think I, I didn't love myself. So why would anybody love me? Oh, that needs a moment. Cause there's so much we do in the quest for being loved, which is a human need, a basic human need. Nobody should be knocked for wanting that. But I think maybe what you wanted to talk about in that regard was the reasons you do things in order to think that love is then going to come. Exactly.
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That goes back to what I was talking about, that the one that loves less has the control. Because the one that loves more is trying to get their love by buying it or doing things to get it. So now I'm very happy to say after going through this life personal transformation and coming up with that life acronym, I learned how to like myself and even better love myself. I then was ready to start dating. And because of what I learned through going to coach training,
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When I would go on the dates, I would kind of like interview them about what their values were because I wanted to make sure that I was finding somebody whose values were aligned with mine. Because I realized that when I was 23, 24 years old getting married, if I knew what a value really was back then and understood it deeply, I might not have gotten married. Now I had many years of happy life. I have four beautiful children and eight grandchildren.
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And we do still have to coexist and co-parent at times. But who knows, I might not have gotten married because I would have realized the difference between us and understand where we could be going. So now when I would go out on dates, I would go on the dates with learning about the woman on a different level than before, because I want to understand their values and if they aligned with mine. So one day I was on a date and this woman was checking off all the boxes.
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And we went out again and again, and it just kept on going that way. And about a month into it, I said, I gotta tell you something, I don't need to hear it from you, but I'm falling in love with you. Because I love who you are, and I love that you see me as I am, and you're not trying to change me. That's big. Right. Yes. And happily, we just passed our fifth wedding anniversary. Congratulations, that's big. Thank you.
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Yes, the thing about values and wouldn't you say if you suffer from people pleasing or the self-conscious definition instead of self-awareness, then the values take a backseat in that regard? They do. They do because when it comes to people pleasing, you put yourself last. So you put your values last because you want to please everybody else so that they will be happy with you so then you can get the fuel to maybe like yourself.
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So let's talk about the warrior's life code. I was saying earlier that we worry so much and the scenarios we paint in our heads usually are way worse than what's really happening. Cause you're not there behind the scenes, they're flying the wall and thinking, oh yeah. When a person doesn't say hello that one day, you think something happened. I think it's what I said last weekend. And it's none of that. Why do we do that? Well, it has to do with our lack of self-worth.
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and taking everything personally. You know what? I learned this in coach training and it's something I still believe today. What I say to you is about me. What you hear me say is about you. Please say that again. What I say to you, if I'm upset, it's about what's going on in my life. What you're hearing about my upsetness is about what you think is going on in your life and projecting it on yourself. So the projection goes both ways. Yep.
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Because we usually do talk about, you know, let's say you call me ugly. You are projecting your feeling about yourself towards me because you think you're ugly. Exactly. But then it goes both ways. I never thought about that. Yeah, it goes both ways. Because if I tell you you're ugly, you believe it if it's someone that you care about that tells you you're ugly. You'll believe it because why would they say something to someone they care? Now, if...
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a stranger is walking on the street and looks at it and say, you're ugly. What are you going to say? Screw you. What do you want to have a go away, dude? Exactly. The power of the relationship will decide that. Right. Like when you come home, if you have a dog, the dog doesn't remember that you left them there all day. They're happy to see you. They're jumping all on top of you. They have no memory of the day. Right. But now imagine you come home and you've had a bad day.
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and you walk in and your spouse is happy and whatever, but you've had a bad day, so you snap at them. Is that about them or is it about what your day did to you that made you do that? So now they take it personally. They go, oh my God, this guy's an ass. I didn't do anything and he's attacking me. And then they react. Or as you say, it's also about me and how I respond. So I can just decide.
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He must have gone through something on the way home. This has nothing to do with me. I'm gonna go to the other room until he comes down. Could be, or you could say, hey, what's going on? What's going on? It's all about communication. And for me, that was one of the things that was always missing in my relationship, but I'm just as much to blame as she is for that lack of communication. And part of that had to do with the way I would react to everything.
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What I learned when we were going through the divorce, and this was interesting because I was also going through coach training, I was learning skills and now it was about me learning them for myself and also using them in the world. So she used to call me up and say something like, I don't wanna fight, but, and immediately she pushed the button in me, they went, okay, let's get ready to rumble. Fighting time. They always say the fight. Let's get ready to rumble, even if it was over the phone. And I would lose it because.
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Okay, whatever she's going to tell me is going to set me off. And then she say, you know, I just told you, I didn't want to fight. And look what you did. So once I was more aware of it, I'm not even going to say I was more self aware. I was aware of it or conscious of it. Now I had to shift it from self conscious to self aware. Right. Cause self-conscious is okay. You are looking for me to get going. You're looking to get a reaction out of me. I'm going to give it to you. Okay.
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So now I would say, oh, really? Okay, you don't want to fight? Okay, great, goodbye. That was my first reaction. I'd hang up on her. What the heck was that? What's the point? You didn't want to fight, so I hung up. And then from there, I conditioned myself and her to take that word out of the dictionary. Take that phrase. Because it wasn't serving me, it wasn't serving her. And as soon as she recognized it, it wasn't as if I said, oh, I'm gonna coach you now. You know? No.
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Because anything I was going to say didn't matter anyway. We were getting divorced. But it was enough for me to use that. I started to build my emotional strength as a result of that. How do you do that? Now, let's talk about solutions. A lot of us do suffer from some, quite a lot of the things you've talked about today. So how do we transform and make this shift to...
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So how we make our shifts from confrontations to conversations. Yes. You like that? Confrontations to conversations. And just to highlight one thing earlier, I like how you, when I said, you know, I'll just go to the other room and let you come down until you're ready to talk. I have recognized that self-awareness, that I'm conflict-avoidant. And you said, no, no, no, you must ask what's going on. It's not the only solution. There are different ways to handle it.
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It all depends on how you're feeling at that moment and what you're willing to get into and not get into it based on how they're feeling too. If you think that they're gonna be a nuclear reactor, why would you set the fire to the nuclear reactor? Good point. There's different times for different things. You know, people think life coaches teach you to never get angry. Oh, no, I hope not.
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No, it's not possible. It's not possible. You're gonna be in La La Land and feel like you live in a Buddhist temple 24-7. Yeah, I know this is life. Yeah, but it's about understanding what happens when you get angry. So for me, I took the word life again, and I made another acronym. And the first one is listen to your inner voice and acknowledge your emotions. For example, someone says something to you.
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and you get angry, acknowledge to yourself that you're angry. Now it takes practice, it doesn't happen overnight. But you could always go back later and review this and build on the awareness of what you're doing so that it becomes like muscle memory. So the first one is listen to your inner voice and acknowledge your emotions. The second one is there's a difference between emotions and feelings, okay? Look at your face, like really, what do you mean?
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I'm waiting for this. So an emotion is that immediate thing you feel. I'm angry. What kind of anger are you? Are you high anger, like enraged or low anger, like I'm ticked off? Here's from my book, Warrior to Warrior. You also said name the anger, the emotion. So I identify your feelings. So emotions begin in the subconscious.
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Feelings filter into the conscious mind. Emotions are more general, but can be more challenging to dig into and define for ourselves. Feelings are specific and are typically easier to identify once the emotion begins them is identified. Emotions are happy, caring, fearful, depressed. A feeling of happy is delighted. A feeling of caring is passionate. A fearful is terrified.
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angry, affronted. In the book, there's a QR code and I'm going to give it to you, tell your audience now. You can go to connectwithmartin.com, which we'll talk about a little later as well. And you can get a chart and a worksheet. The chart shows all of the emotions across the top. There's seven or eight different types of emotions and then below each one of them are three categories of that emotion. Strong, medium, and light. So I'm angry.
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Is it a strong feeling of anger? If it is, what kind? Like I said, I'm enraged. Identify. So on the worksheet, you write, listen to your inner voice and acknowledge your emotions. I'm angry. Identify your feelings. I'm enraged. Now, by giving it words, by giving it meaning, you start to understand how it's affecting you. Right? And what's going on. The third one is, find out why.
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Find out why and question your feelings. Why am I feeling this? Did Roberta say something to me that I took personally? Why am I taking that personally? What's going on? Be like you're cross-examining yourself like you're on trial. You're the prosecutor and you're the witness in the witness stand at the same time, right? And then the last one is engage and change. E, engage and change and take action. It all sounds good.
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in theory. So how about if I give you a practical situation that happened? It was two or three years after my divorce, my son was getting married. I was living in New York, my ex-wife and my children were living in New Jersey, and the wedding was happening on Wednesday. And we have a tradition in our community, and now I come from an Orthodox Jewish community, which means on Saturday, I don't use electronics, I don't drive in the car or anything. Okay, so I'm from Friday night to Saturday night for 24, 25 hours.
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We don't use electronics, we don't anything. So they're 60, 70 miles away in New Jersey and I'm living in New York. We have a tradition in our community that sometimes on the Saturday before, when the boy goes to synagogue, he goes up to the Torah and then they have a lunch for him afterwards to family and so on and so forth. We didn't discuss it. I didn't know what was gonna happen or not. I didn't think it was happening. And my son came back to New York after the weekend because the wedding was gonna be in New York and he was...
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living by me a little bit because he was still going to school in New York. He comes, dad, I'm so embarrassed. So what happened? He goes, mom made lunch, invited my future in-laws and you weren't there. Now the old me would have freaked out on him, would have freaked out on my ex-wife right then and there. I would have been a nuclear reactor. So who am I satisfying by doing that? My ego, my self-conscious.
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I'm rationalizing that what I'm doing is the right thing to do in the moment. Instead, I said, okay, how do I feel? L, listen to my inner voice and acknowledge my emotions. I am angry. What kind of anger am I feeling? I identify it. I'm enraged. I'm ready to rip somebody's head off. Okay, find out why. Why am I feeling this? I was just given with information that this happened.
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And this person who I was with for 25 years couldn't come out of her way and say, this is what's happening. She's embarrassed me. She's sending a message to the children. All these things are going through my head. So I'm writing all this down. Is she hurting me? Yes. Why? Because she's disrespecting me in front of everybody. And I'm thinking to myself, if I do this right now, she's gonna be upset. My son's gonna be upset. They're gonna go to my family and say, there he goes again, freaking out. And the wedding is gonna be.
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with this shadow over it, with a cloud over it. So I'm working myself through these emotions and these feelings, and now I go, I gotta make a change, I gotta do something, I gotta engage in change. So I said, this is what I'm gonna do. I'm gonna wait until after the wedding, and then I'm gonna address the issue. Because doing it then, all I'm doing is serving my ego. So I waited till a couple of days after, and I actually called a family member and said, this is what I'm gonna do. I'm gonna have a controlled anger.
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to the situation afterwards. Went to the wedding, I compartmentalized it, I put it away, I didn't think about it. Had a beautiful time at the wedding, it was a wonderful event. Two days later, I called her up, I said, this is what you did. This is the message you sent to our children. This is the disrespect, you think you have it over on me. Great, beautiful, you had this event without me. What did you prove? And I went through assaulting, whether she heard it or not, it didn't matter. But I was controlled and going,
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getting out my feelings. And here's the beauty, at the end of it, I told her, thank you for divorcing me. And that gave me the closure to move on in my life. First, when we are enraged, it's very hard to hold on for that long. Oh yeah. Like even being at the wedding, you need to smile at the guests and be there for your son and do all the dead necessary duties.
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it can be challenging to hold on for that long. And like you said, then you called the meeting. I think the time that had gone on until you called the meeting, you were able to rationally have that discussion because had you had it right there and then when your son told you. Yeah, whoo. Yeah, but I went to someone I cared about and said, I've got a vent here. I've got to get rid of it. I actually have something in my course that I call the snake in the grass. Go find somebody that you could go with.
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And originally when I gave this exercise to one of my clients, I told them, just hit a pillow, just keep hitting the pillow and anger instead of wanting to do something to the other person and have someone you care, watch you do that and ask questions to get it all out. She went into the forest with her friend, found the dead snake and beat the crap out of the dead snake. So I turned it into snake in the grass, but I got my feelings taken care of in the moment. In the moment.
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an early version of someone who needs to learn how to control their emotions. It's a step-by-step process. It's not gonna happen overnight. For sure, not overnight. How do we transform into a mindset of abundance? As we were talking earlier, a lot of our choices are based on fear, scarcity. Right, right, right. It's about understanding you have to change, I can't to how can I? Or if you wake up every morning and say, I have to go to work, that's fear-based.
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I have to work because I need to eat, I need to have some place to live, I need to provide for my family. If you could switch it to, I get to work and as a result I get paid and I get to have a wonderful life with my family and I can go out for wonderful dinners. And if you don't love your job, figure out something else to do, but while you're at your job, give it your 100%. And have a different perspective about it.
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Does that change your feelings about the job when you hated it before? If you say, I get to it. It could, it could. But if you don't, if you wake up every morning saying, oh my God, I can't believe I gotta do this again, instead of waking up with appreciation, then of course every day is gonna be the longest day of the year. That's a very long life too. That's right. I'll get a day of dread every day. For sure.
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Martin, is there something you wish I could have asked you that you wanted to share with our listeners today? No, you did great. I wanted to have so many subjects here. I think we did fantastic. You have so much that is empowering us to do things differently and live incredibly full every day. So thank you so much. And before we go, so my pleasure, please share where we can find your book again, details about it, and also your social and websites. Absolutely. So I made a website.
34:42
WorriesLifeGado.com, but I also have connectwithmartin.com. You can go on there and click on a link. It'll take you right to Amazon to get my book. You could get the cards from there. You could get the worksheet that I was talking about earlier on building your emotional strength, free. That's a free gift. Thank you. And you could also, if you're interested in having a conversation with me, there's a button there to, let's talk. Let's find out what's going on and see where it can take you. So I am connectwithmartin.com.
35:12
I also of course have a Facebook page under my name, I have Instagram, the Warriors Live Code. And one of the things that came out of my divorce was I learned how to cook to the point that I love to cook. Did you learn after going through the divorce? While I was going through the divorce, I learned how to cook. I always knew a little bit, but yet become a really decent cook. And when I got married again, my wife doesn't like to cook and she works in corporate America. So I'm the chef in the house, I'm the cook. So I developed a YouTube channel.
35:42
So you go to Martin Salama on YouTube and you can watch me cook and coach at the same time. That is amazing. I love the combination. Which I always say food is one of the reasons it gives us, if you are passionate about food, usually you're passionate about life.
35:56
Yeah, yeah, I agree with that. There's no question. This is my personal philosophy. Martin Salama. Thank you so much for being on our show today. Absolutely love your energy. Very contagious. Thank you, Roberta. Yes, that was Martin Salama, the architect of The Warrior's Life Code, author and a life coach. Thank you so much, Martin.
36:22
Thank you for joining the Speaking and Communicating podcast once again. If you have a guest that you think would be a great fit for the show, please email me and my contact details will be found on the show notes. The Speaking and Communicating podcast is part of the Be Podcast Network, where there are many other podcasts that support you in being a better leader and becoming the change you want to see.
36:50
To learn more about the Be Podcast Network, go to beeepodcastnetwork.com. Don't forget to subscribe, leave us a rating and a review on Apple and Spotify, and stay tuned for more episodes to come.

How to Stop People Pleasing w/ Martin Salama
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