Speaking and Communicating Podcast

Hello everyone. Welcome to the Speaking and Communicating podcast. My name is Roberta and today I have Rachelle Sylvain-Spence. She is a professional speaker and a life strategist. And before I move any further, let me give this opportunity to Rachelle to introduce herself. Hi Rachel. Hi Roberta. Thank you for having me. It's really an honor to be sharing this space with you. So I appreciate you giving me the opportunity.
00:26
Yes, I am Rachelle Sylvain-Spence. I am a licensed social worker and a certified professional coach. I have worked in the social work field for many years, but through that journey, I realized that my passion was really into connecting with people and impacting people's lives from the core. And I've followed that path and I continue to create impact, not only through my work, my philanthropy, and through all of the stuff that I've done, that I mean to my writing and my businesses as well.
00:56
Now let's start off with when you were a social worker. What are some of the things that you noticed with regards to is it humans in general always specifically working with women? I was more in the medical field. So I've done a lot of medical social work and I've done pediatric as well. And what I've noticed through the years in working, as I have to say, as a child, I've always noticed that I had apt to helping others. You know, listener, be that person that people come to, you wanna just like, hey, can I get an advice of some sort?
01:25
I had an interest in getting into psychology. I was discouraged by my family to do that because it doesn't bring the bacon, right? So I was just nervous to do that. Why don't you get into something else, more economics, business? And so I went to college and I registered. I was told that I was actually gonna be majoring in economics, an extra in there, but that's what I was so good. Thank God for all the extracurricular activities because the more I was, not so much extracurricular activities,
01:55
I was exposed to all the other disciplines and sociology was one of them. And when I was going to school, I was also working. And as I was working in a mental health facility at a hospital, I got exposed to seeing a social worker working and I took interest to what they were doing. And the more I actually took interest, social ventured me and I realized that I was connected with what social work was about, which is more how the ecosystem affects some human behavior as opposed to biology.
02:24
So that piece of it really attracted me. So I changed my major and I got in social work. So I've been in my career more in the mental health space and being able to provide a level of support and understanding how society, how community, how family affects one's behavior really is important to me. And then actually, as I'm mentioning it to you right now, I'm like, oh, it makes sense is why I'm doing what I do today because it's still within the same path.
02:52
Talking about self-discovery, that's what it is. It's still within the same path of that. So I've done the social work. I lived in New York at the time. I moved to South Florida. Married and also have children. And I realized in my process of working, I always wanted to give back to my community. And from there, I decided to pursue a dream of mine to give back to the Haitian community, which is where my ancestry is from.
03:14
And so I founded a non-for-profit called the Timun Nakai Foundation, which is a non-for-profit, which means kids back home, local grassroot organizations in Haiti, providing them the resources they need to be able to continue doing the work for, as long as child welfare is their mission. That's what I started. And in the midst of that, the more I did it, the more I got up to speak and really getting in the community still, talking to the community, talking to the students at school, the teachers, the parents. I...
03:42
enjoyed being able to share messages and see how it was being received and the impact I was having just by speaking. So with that, I realized that it fulfilled me to be able to have such impact at that level. And I was connecting more with that path of work than the other one that I was doing. So from that point, I decided to pursue to really dig deep and see what that was all about to explore that what I was experiencing.
04:10
I ended up pursuing a path towards speaking, and I chose to now, I became trained to become a certified professional coach so that I could be more, as far as I was concerned at that time, I felt that I needed some type of credential to justify why I say that I speak. What do you think? Right. You know, it's interesting you say that that's where you found your joy and you follow that path because we get told to find your joy. Don't chase whatever it is you think you're supposed to chase.
04:39
Find the thing that brings you the most joy and that's your calling, that's your gift. That's where you are supposed to go. Exactly. And it's, you know, we all have it with us. So the whole process of self-discovery, this is why I do my focus is on self-discovery because that was my path and realizing that these elements exist in your life. It exists within you. The question is how connected are you? So people talk about finding purpose. I say you connect with purpose. Why? Because you're born with purpose.
05:09
It requires you to take a step back to really understand what is it? Let me connect with what is the reason why I'm in this planet. It requires you to go into that path of this journey to really be attentive to everything in your life. What do you think keeps the majority of us from connecting with that purpose and actually taking the time to reflect, to do the work so that we are on the path to connecting with it and finding it?
05:38
I think part of it is fear and sometimes fear of the unknown. I also believe there's an element of assumptions that we make that is not important. And it's also the interpretation that we have also that, who does that? No one actually does such thing. This is just a myth that people connect and those paths are actually real.
05:58
It seems like the fluffy mushy stuff. Exactly. It's the fluffy mushy. The reality is traditionally, you know, people go to school, they get a degree and this that in the traditional professions, such as becoming a physician, an attorney, a nurse, stuff like that. And every time we need, by the way, we're not knocking that at all. We do need that. And yes, we do. And yes, we do. But isn't your calling? And so we choose to follow these paths.
06:23
Some of us is the right path. Some of us find ourselves lost within it because we never really took the time to understand who we truly are, like who we are and what really generate joys within us so that we can be the best, not only the best version of ourselves, we could be of service to others. When we connect with our inner gifts, we really are of service to others and the impact we make is greatest. It's funny, let me just give this example quickly about being a doctor. So when I was growing up, I was a smart kid.
06:53
Naturally, they say, you must be going to be a doctor when you grow up. So I thought to myself, yes, even now, I tutored math. I love math and physics. Naturally, I was supposed to be a doctor. I remember my first day of high school, one of my friends and classmates was still friends to this day. Her oldest sister was studying medicine. And one day she was just telling the story not to scare anybody. One day, she said, my sister, the other day came with human livers to study at home. I said.
07:21
as in real ones or a mannequin of a liver. She said, no real ones because they use dead bodies at medical school to study. That very moment I knew that doctoring was not my thing because I never wanted to touch a dead body. You know what I mean? So I knew that wasn't my calling. Yes, yes, yes. And that's the piece, right? And it takes a certain person to be able to recognize that the way in which you did, right? Most of us,
07:50
or a lot of people would do not, for whatever reason, they don't, they're not equipped or they think they're not equipped. They already think they're not equipped. To understand that that thought you had, that's what it meant. Yeah. And I was only a 12 year old. Really? Yeah. In taking the time to find your purpose, like we said, connected with the joy you feel when you do something. When you say it led you to a path of speaking, so you were helping, you were making an impact on people. What brought the speaking element?
08:18
Well, the speaking element came from, for every time I was doing a presentation or visiting or doing my, because I used to travel to go visit the sites that I was helping out. The feeling that was coming within me and it really was inside of me as I was doing it. It's like, it was electrifying. It's like I was like having out of body experience every time I was like delivering a message that I fully connected with. Now, if you ask me to speak about the telephone, I have nothing. No.
08:46
But if you ask me to speak about something that I'm extremely passionate about. Yes. What's being generated within inside of me as I'm doing it. It made me realize like, wow, I love this. And besides what was being generated, but there's also the reception of it, how others are receiving it, the interaction I'm having with the audience, those who are listening and I could feel their presence and they're taking in my message. Well, that is like, I feel like it's an out of body experience. So at that moment, it's also within
09:16
When I used to have my events to like fundraisers and when I had to speak about my charity, about the cause, it's like people were just donating because of me, because of what I was actually sharing. They actually said that to me, but I was able to feel the energy in the room as I was delivering the message because my passion came through. So that experience, that feeling made me realize, wow, I was really meant to have an impact because when people come to me say, Oh my God, when you spoke, this is what I felt.
09:45
I have a gift. My gift is to deliver a message to our people. And this is what I, and I feel so much joy doing it. And you can see the difference it makes in their lives and how you touch them. It does, yeah. On this podcast, we always focus on how having communication skills is what will bring your business to the forefront, is what will bring your product to the market. I love how you talk about
10:14
knowing that you had this mission, you had to fundraise, and so you needed to speak about it. Otherwise nobody would donate, but they need to in order for you to carry on your mission, unless you actually stood up and spoke. Yes, and my speaking had an impact, because I strongly believe for me, it was more the donations, people care about the mission.
10:36
but it was my message. It was the donors were doing it because they believe in me and what I said that I was doing and why I said it was important. So they believe in my journey towards having that impact. You were supporting my mission. They felt the authenticity of what I was sharing. And a lot of times, I mean, I could tell several stories in different instances. People say, you know what, I wanna help you because I see your passion. Heart-centered leadership.
11:01
Yes, heart centered, yes, yes. That you speak from the heart, you're not just doing your job. I do. Now, you mentioned self-discovery earlier. When you are on your mission earlier, you said you mostly want to help women in the self-discovery process. So what is the first thing that a person needs to do in order to start themselves on a journey to self-discovery?
11:26
I believe that the first step to self-discovery is the process of revealing. What do I mean by that? Revealing allows you to get to know your who, like who you truly are from within, understanding the values you carry, understanding why certain things affect you more than other things, why you're triggered, what causes you to get triggered at a time, what brings you joy, all these other pieces. I think that's the first step. Because that step gives you clarity.
11:56
you why you show up the way you show up. That's true. You need that clarity. I've done a lot of mentorship and that's what I, I mentored the young girls that I've mentored throughout my community. I speak a lot on that as well with them because I feel it's important for, if you expect someone to honor you, if you want to be seen, have to start honoring yourself first and how do you- You teach them how to treat you. That's right. Exactly. So how else would that happen? Unless you start paying attention.
12:25
to all that you have within you. If anyone is listening and I think to themselves, this sounds great ladies, but here's the problem. I don't have time to start doing that because I have two jobs, I have bills, I have kids, I need to cook. How can they fit that into their schedule? Because it sounds to me that you need time to reflect in order to do all the things that you mentioned.
12:47
Yes. There's something they can do to fit that in while they take care of all the urgent stuff in their lives. Interesting that you're saying that because a lot of the women who I'm serving, these are the women that carry several different hats because I've been that and I continue to be that person. I am a mother, I am a wife, I am a caregiver, a mentor. I mean, the list goes on of all the roles that I play and time is of essence, right? Now I say, whatever in life you wanna do, whatever interests you have,
13:17
you to make a decision. So that's the first step. Decision that you want to put in the work. You commit to that work. The work doesn't have to be long-winded because of time, right? You create your planner. You create the time. You find the space that best suits you and you put as small as it may be, time towards it. Because little by little, a little becomes a lot, right? So I believe that most people are stuck on, it requires so much.
13:47
It requires a decision, maybe 20 minutes of your day. It becomes part of your routine. And once it becomes part of your routine, you've realized that we have 24 hours in a day. There is time. All of us do. How we manage our time is where it comes in. How we prioritize our time is the other piece. So now we start creating a calendar, right? A schedule for yourself as to where can I fit that moment? It doesn't have the assumption that it has to be an hour or two.
14:16
not necessarily true, start where you're at, that decision to start. And the other pieces that you believe that you have to do it alone, you do not need to. It is possible, it requires you to make a decision, to commit to the decision, to become consistent and be disciplined. These are the four things. Let's say your journaling is one of the things, let's just use that as an example. Right. At what space in my day can I introduce journaling? And does journaling require me to write a whole book?
14:45
No, it could be a word. Even one paragraph, yeah, a word. A word, so at the end of the day, it's the decision. Yes, and you will make time for it if you make the decision that this is going to get done. Exactly. In a day. And you realize how much time you have because time is there. It's how we manage our time that makes we believe that we don't have it. And the things we prioritize. How we prioritize it. And we set in place for ourselves. So.
15:13
That's the first tip, make time for it, make a decision, you'll make time for it. Give us two more things we can do on our journey to self-discovery. So once you make that decision and you create the time for it, now you can create maybe a routine that best suits you. It requires you to, I would encourage anyone that wants to start, to start with some affirmation. Again, small stuff that could lead you to something bigger. Because...
15:41
What happened is that the idea of self-discovery can be daunting, it could be overwhelming. And then you end up not doing anything at all. Exactly, exactly. So what I encourage people to do is three things. Make a decision, like I said, what the decision comes with the commitment, the discipline and the consistency. Then I encourage you to do what I call the GLAD technique. Okay, explain that. GLAD technique is, GLAD is something you're grateful for, something you learned, something you achieved. Achieve you. Something you're delighted. And that's your gratitude.
16:10
Right, to journals, that's exactly what we talk about. Yes. That's it. So I encourage anyone to start with something as simple as that. What was that? Opening your eyes in the morning, that's something to be grateful for. The idea that we have to think deeper. Yes. Right? Why don't we start small? Open your eyes this morning. How did you become grateful? Thank you, a simple thank you. It goes a long way.
16:34
It allows you to pay attention to your day by doing it this way. Then you process your day, and I encourage you to do it in the evening versus in the morning, because then you have a, you can take a count. What were you grateful for today? What did you learn today? What did you achieve? That'd be a phone call. And what brought you joy for the day? Could it be that you saw the butterfly going in front of you? Again, something as simple as that. Simplicity is key to the self-discovery. It's not a difficult thing. It's just little steps.
17:03
to create routines that will benefit you in a long run. And it's about being present because we live so much on autopilot. We all have things to do, we are expected to do. We just live on autopilot. We're not even cognizant of what we're doing at that moment. And so we don't even take five minutes to say, hey, wait a minute, what am I feeling right now? Exactly. And it requires you to be, again, awareness. It weighs your level of awareness.
17:29
and allowed you to be present. And then you get to the space where once you're able to get understanding of that process, that you can get to the space of studying like that to release the things that you've been holding on for so long. Because we hold onto so much, again, the beliefs that we held onto or what society has said that we should do. We were just talking about it earlier. Should you do that? You should act this way, that way, dress this way. All these things that maybe you don't connect with.
17:56
But did you've done because that's what you were told. You did it because that's what the family you're part of. This is what your spiritual community have told you. Your culture. So you are robotic in the process because that's all you know and you never allowed yourself, you never give yourself permission to look beyond barriers that you've had. The box they put you in, yeah. So now you can get to the space. Because you know what? Because now you know you got a sense of who you are. You understand your values a little bit more.
18:25
You understand what your triggers are. So now you can get to the space of like, okay, why have I not done this? Why have, or why did I do that? Why am I not talking to this person? Why am I not showing up in these spaces? Why have I not taken the step to create that business or take that class or get that degree, whatever that is. Their choices become different when you start out. And then you start exploring, what was the reasoning behind it? What held you back for so long? Why did you not?
18:54
You stopped talking to this person for so many years. Why is that? Oh, why are you holding onto relationships that are not serving? Take time to ask those questions if you just visited them on autopilot. Exactly. And this is where you allow yourself, you give yourself grace in the process. That knowing that self-discovery is a journey. The journey doesn't happen overnight.
19:17
But it starts with a decision. I am ready to get to understand who I am because I want to create change. I am ready to take charge of me. I am ready to become the best version. I want to show off full in who I am, not have to answer to anybody else but myself. You make that decision for you. And in giving yourself that space, that grace, that opening, so many things gets revealed, so many gets released.
19:46
because now you're saying either no more or you want more, whatever that is, right? But you're taking time to reflect. So in taking charge of yourself, Rachelle, I believe you have a book that you've written. Where can we find that? Actually, the book is called My Energy. You can find it on my website. It's a guide, it's a self-discovery guide, journaling to self-discovery and also energy shifting. I would choose a seven step process on how to get to know who you are from the core.
20:14
It has different exercises in it as well. And I actually introduced a lot of my story in each of these steps. I have done in that process. What has worked for me and why I encourage others to tap into that. And also I've introduced of course, four steps to shifting your energy because energy frequency is something that we all carry at any given time. What makes one a little bit more frequency different than others is because maybe some of us are more equipped because we have done the work. So we know.
20:43
When it shows up, what does it serve? The steps helps you identify what's happening with you at the moment. How do you adjust it? How do you refine it? And how do you readjust to it, you know, to better serve you and the people around you? Okay, so the book is My Energy by Rachelle Sylvain Spence, and we can find it on Amazon and on your website. What is your website? My website is RachelleSylvain.com. Let's say that slowly. Rachelle.
21:13
And I say Rachelle because my name is spelled with two L's in the E. So that's, okay. We'll write it with an L. So it's R-A-C-H-E-L-L-E S-Y-L-V-A-I-N.com. I'm going to write it on the show notes in case anybody missed it. And not just your website. Is there any other social media handle that? Yes. I'm on almost most platforms. I'm on IG and I'm underscore Rachelle Sylvain. I am on LinkedIn, Rachelle Sylvain. I have a Facebook page.
21:43
called Our Motivation, that's the name of my business. Our Motivation is in my business and I have a lot of different products there. I actually have different product that I'm launching, group sessions, all these other stuff as well. Okay, let me do that again before we close. Rachelsylvain.com is the website. Instagram underscore Rachel Silvane. Facebook group, Our Motivation, LinkedIn, Rachelle Sylvain. Did I miss anything?
22:13
And most importantly, the book is My Energy by Rachelle Sylvain-Spence. Yes, yes, yes. It's been such a pleasure to listen to you. Same here. I'm so honored. I really appreciate you taking the time to invite me and I really enjoyed it. So thank you so much, Rachel.