Speaking and Communicating Podcast

Hello everyone, welcome to the Speaking and Communicating podcast. I am Roberta and today I'm joined by Randy Taylor. He is a leading neuroscientist and behavioral expert and he used to be a talk show host. He's from Canada and he's joining us today. Hi, Randy. Hi, Roberta. How are you? Great to be on the show. I'm so happy to finally have you here. So we just want to know what is it about us when we attend all these seminars and do all this work.
00:29
of self-improvement and yet it seems as though things are not changing. What are we not getting right? Yeah. I think that that's one of the primary questions for everyone is that have an idea. We have a thought you're at a conference. Someone presents a very good solution. Um, you get excited about it. You have that inspired thought, what I often refer to as the jacuzzi experience. And then you walk out the door and someone says, do you want fries with that? And it's gone and it dissipates and it goes away. And so.
00:58
One of the tragedies of this is that people end up becoming self-deprecating and saying, what's wrong with me? Right. I went to Roberta's seminar. The thing she was talking about made perfect sense to me. I really made the decision. I was going to do that in my life. And then it's gone and it's went away. So the reality is that's not how behaviors work. Right. So behaviors take time to ingrain a new thought, a new process to be able to create ultimately.
01:27
a new comfort zone. And this is something that has fascinated me my entire life. I grew up in poverty and parent alcoholism and lived on the streets homeless at age 14. And just became fascinated over my life to find out what is it that allows one person to have amazing success and to become Bill Gates and another person to end up homeless on the streets of Toronto. Understanding the science of human behavior has been a door opener.
01:55
my entire life and for all the people that I work with and really understanding the science of exactly that question. Why is it that I go to the conference, I learn the information, and the reason is, yeah, the reason is that's not how behaviors work. So it takes the repetitive action to input the correct information, right? So from very quickly, from a scientific perspective, every thought we have and every action we take,
02:23
They are all stored in files in the subconscious mind. Think of it as a file folder. And every time you input new information relative to that topic, whether it's flying and you're afraid to fly, whether it's doing your job, driving your car, making your kids breakfast. So we put these papers in that file and then someone says, you wanna have breakfast and you open the file. Or do you wanna fly to Florida and you open the file and it says, I'm terrified to fly, right? So- We're autopilot, we just keep retrieving these files.
02:52
Yeah, so you're right. We live on that program. You wake up by the time you become an adult, you wake up in the morning and you end up living by this program that says, this is who you are. And this is where you can go and where you can't. Here's who you are and who you're not. Here's what you can have and what you can't. All of this programming ends up creating the walls and the limitations in our lives that aren't real. It's one of the greatest tragedies I think of mankind.
03:22
is the lost potential in people when they end up believing the lies that say, you can't become this. Yes, you can. So how can we detox the lies and create space and wipe the slate clean, create space for the new behavioral ways that are actually positive, that are the truth. So that, yeah, absolutely. So number one, you can't wipe the slate clean. Okay. So, um, it's, you know, like don't see an elephant, like don't remember nine 11. Um,
03:51
That memory is always going to be there. But when you again, think about this, that every time you input information with the subconscious mind, there's a file. So every time you input the information, the file gets bigger. When you no longer access the file, and this is through a scientific process called neuroplasticity, that the number of cells in that cluster and the synapses that hold them together, which is the storage of the information, they start to let go. And over time, not in a day or a week, but over time,
04:21
that file will get smaller and smaller. But now in order to achieve the correct outcome to change the behavior, you have to intentionally input the correct information into the file that says, I love to fly. It's one of the great exhilarating experiences of my life. It gives me a chance to go to Florida and lay in the sun. When I live in a cold climate, I get to see my friends in California. I mean, all of that, right?
04:46
So when you think about this and the visual of the file is good because everyone can see that. So here's this big thick file that says I'm afraid to fly. And here's this tiny file that says I love to fly. So imagine that there is an imbalance. And so through conscious intention of inputting the correct information and making yourself do it again and again and again and again and again, well guess what, pretty soon over.
05:12
to three months that it's a wives tale about 21 days to create a habit. That's a one hour show in neuroscience, but that's just not true. It takes between two to three months. So many YouTube videos of do this for 21. Everyone. It's everywhere. Do you know where that came from? Yeah, it came from World War II, when they were having to amputate limbs in the field. And what they found out is that, you know, I lost my leg from the knee down. And so they had to
05:42
My foot was killing me for up to 21 days because the nerves were not cauterized yet, right? And so from that, then science extrapolated, well, then that's behavior. It takes 21 days to change a behavior. No, it's not. If I'm not calling my clients, it's not a foot. It's a completely different biochemical process. And so putting the correct information into a new file over time, guess what? That will become the dominant file.
06:09
And I do this with clients all the time and it's fascinating people that they have had lifelong fears of flying. And then they'll call me and say, I just went to Florida. Oh my gosh, I had the best time. I loved the flight for the first time in my life. I wasn't crying and drinking too much and you know and everything else. And it's fascinating. So also important to know that you or I or anyone we were not born with doubts, right? We were born perfect.
06:38
And so it's the intake of the information that determines the choices that we make in life. And that information is malleable. We can change it. We can have anything. We were not born with doubts. No one. And any doubt can be turned into a belief. Fascinating, right? Speaking of doubt, I love you. These walls that are in front of me, they're holograms. They're not real. Speaking of that, I love what you said in one of your YouTube videos about Elon and doubt.
07:05
Oh, he is the greatest master of psychological dominance because of everything that he has created. And it's interesting, and I know you're from South Africa, so he's a bit of a local hero, I'm sure. And when you look at him and you look at his past, recent past, four or five years ago, he was being written off by the world every day. It's not gonna happen, it's not gonna happen, it's not gonna happen. So imagine how many times he's been told he can't.
07:34
but he keeps going. And, you know, and I talk about this in seminars and conferences all the time and use him as the example of saying what is it that makes him so incredibly successful, right? That he's going to save the planet with electric cars. He's going to make us a multi-planetary species. He's going to change the way that we use energy into solar and all the rest of it. It's not his intellect and he's crazy smart. It's not his business acumen, although he's brilliant.
08:04
It's not his engineering degrees. What he possesses greater than any person I have ever known on earth is something any one of us can adopt. And it's this, it's his raging ignorance of doubt. Raging ignorance of doubt. It doesn't exist in his world. Let that sink in for a moment. The more that we could have that, when you wake up in the morning and you have a goal.
08:28
And you say, I'm going to go and do this, even though it didn't work out yesterday. And maybe it didn't work out the day before, and maybe it hasn't worked out for six months. What does Alon say? Gotta get busy. I'm gonna make this happen. He created PayPal. He created electric cars when they said, no, those are golf carts, right? He just kept going. And so all of us, could we adopt more of that? The more of that that we have, the more of that we can create, yes? Yes, of course.
08:57
The answer is of course, and it's no. You plant the seed, the new seed, because you've had this file you were talking about. So the new seed, you keep watering that smaller file. And as you keep watering the smaller file, you ignore the previous one. This one is gonna grow and it becomes your new habit, your new system. It's gonna become second nature to you. But you have to train yourself consistently over and over and over again. One of the things that I...
09:25
I've been working with clients a lot lately is a, you know, is a psychological morning boost program now that we've been talking about the information on the files, we have to put new information, correct information, good information that says here's a positive outlook on that specific topic. Yes. Well, we can wait for thousands of great things to happen and hope that they overcome the negative living in the world that we do right now with war and poverty and famine and just so many things going on, or we can do this artificially.
09:54
One of the things that I counsel people on is to start your day programming both the mind, the files of the information on the subconscious mind and the biochemical reaction within your body that produces the chemical compounds and neuropeptides that make you feel good, right? So when you exercise, how do you feel? You feel good. And so the process very quickly is you get up in the morning 45 minutes early, you spend 15 minutes exercising vigorously.
10:21
then you sit down and you journal for 15 to 20 minutes and write about all the things that you dream of in this world and all the things that you are grateful for. And then the last, for 10 to 15 minutes, you sit down on YouTube and you pull up videos of some of the greatest speakers in the world and you listen to Tony Robbins and you listen to Les Brown and you listen to Jim Rohn and you listen to me. And right, and then you go off and you start your day. And when you do that, how do you feel? You feel-
10:48
Oh yeah, let me drag myself, do the same thing over and over again. I assume this is an audio and not a video podcast, correct? Yes. Yeah. But if people were watching the video of this and we're on, on zoom right now, but the screen behind me has the words conscious intention. And if you want to change the program, it's going to have to come about through conscious intention, we're going to have to make the decision that we're going to do something often enough, long enough counter to our current comfort zone.
11:17
and we're going to have to call it work until the information of the files begins to change, but then look at the prize at the end of it. Of course. Again, if you can change anything in two to three months, isn't that one of the greatest deals of all time? As they say, you're beautiful, thank you. Just keep telling yourself, I got this, I'm gonna keep going, I am not going to stop, I'm not going to allow that liar in my head.
11:42
to keep putting up those hologram walls in front of me that are holding me back from everything I've ever been capable of. Fun fact, speaking of Jim Rohn, Tony Robbins' mentor, I met him in my 20s in the 90s, he came to South Africa. We went to see him in Cape Town. Amazing, he- That old man was powerful, yeah. He was my greatest mentor. I never met him and I never saw him speak.
12:05
I have listened to everything he has done at a very difficult time in my life. Someone started sending me cassette tapes of Jim Rohn and I just, you know, and I listened to because of some challenges I was going through. I was so inspired by him at the time I sat down and I transcribed every word from a 12 cassette series into my computer. I would listen to it. And then I typed out every word and then I read it over and over and over again. And he just inspired me. And that's why you do the work you're doing today.
12:35
Absolutely. A hundred percent. I mean, I've always believed one of the things in my life that happened. That was a great turnaround point. I was 16 the day I left high school because I had to eat and my guidance counselor, amazing guy, Mr. Gretzinger tried to talk me out of going for an hour and he couldn't. And I was walking out the door and he stopped me and he said, Randy, I want to tell you something. I said, what's that? He said, I want you to know that where you are now has nothing to do with where you can go.
12:58
You know, it wasn't like the angels weren't singing in the skies didn't park, but for some reason those words stuck and it went out and started life and manual labor and his words kept coming back and basically what he was saying, and I have shared his words with hundreds of thousands of people over the years, pretty much every time I speak, I talk about Mr. Gretzinger and basically what he was saying was look kid, I'm sorry for yesterday, I can't change that. It sucks, but you can change tomorrow.
13:23
you are not stuck. If I had not heard those words, I don't know where I would be today, but it probably wouldn't be here because he started that process. I believe, like all of us believe in that program in my head. You know, I'm a kid that grew up in poverty and parent alcoholism and I'm homeless at age 14. I have no education. It's just not gonna work out for me. And you start to believe that those words began to change and challenge that belief that I had about myself and the lies I was telling myself.
13:53
and his words apply to every one of us. Where we are now has nothing to do with where we are going. We're going. Yeah. So what is it that we can do starting today? You know, if I was speaking to you, if I was counseling you and I, a real stickler on people of not just, you know, I am not a motivational speaker. I want to give people the proper information. I want them to understand the science and I want them to understand their potential. And then I want them to go get busy and start working, right? That's the important part. Yes.
14:21
Yeah. So in order to do this, whatever we're discussing right now on this podcast, the people that are listening to it, they're having probably some of them, that jacuzzi experience that, wow, somebody else believes in me. And I need to believe in myself more, but if you don't work at this, it will dissipate and go away. So the best thing you can do is to sit down and spend some time, go off by yourself and get a journal book, get a notebook and a pen and start to write down the things that are holding you back.
14:49
Start to identify what are the behaviors that are holding me back. The behavior is, I seem to put everything off. The behavior is I start things and then I don't finish. The behavior is I'm not taking proper care of my body, and I'm not eating well, and I'm not exercising. I don't believe in myself. My confidence is very low. So in going through and identifying those behaviors, then...
15:16
The science of the brain is incredibly complicated. A hundred billion brain cells with the synaptic connections of the wiring between the brain cells, more connections than there are particles of sand on earth. So the brain is a, is an incredible machine, but you need to program it. So if you found out that one of the behaviors was you were terrified to fly, but you really want to travel, but you can't get yourself to go on a plane. So the behavior is I'm afraid to fly. So now you have to write down what is the alternative and the positive. What do you want to tell yourself? Which is the truth.
15:45
safest form of travel in the world is air travel. And then finish the statement by saying, I absolutely love to travel. I am so exhilarated when I am on the aircraft and it allows me to travel all over the world. It is the most exciting experience of my life. And then once you have written that in the positive, right? Then you need to input that information again and again and again and again and again.
16:13
day after day after day after day after day, three ways of doing it. Do it a minimum of twice a day. Good, read it twice a day. Better, write it twice a day with a pen, not typing. There's an amazing creative connection between the pen and the brain. Best, read it out loud twice a day. Hear yourself say it. For the first several days in probably few weeks, you're gonna feel like, oh, this is stupid. Every time I say,
16:39
I can't wait to get on the next plane. I absolutely love to fly. It gives me the most exciting experience in my life and allows me to travel the world. And then the subconscious mind is gonna say, nonsense, we're afraid. Give me a drink. Right? Remember one of the secret teachers used to say, at first it sounds silly, you know, when you say, I'm happy, I'm happy, I'm happy. Your brain is gonna say, you're lying, you're lying, you're lying. Exactly. But eventually, eventually get, cause guess what you're doing, right? Remember those files? Right.
17:08
So you're putting the correct information into a new file that only has a few pieces of paper in it. And the other one's thick every day. You put it in again and again and again and again and again. And this is the science of human behavior. And I know for people who are listening, who say it couldn't be that easy. Yes, it is. But it takes the continuation of doing it for five weeks. And you still hear the voice that says, I'm afraid to fly. Do it again. It takes commitment and here.
17:37
And not 21 days, not 21 days, two to three months. And here is the definition of commitment. People that are listening, if you want to gain something from this, write these words down. Here's the definition of commitment. It's the continuation of an activity in the apparent absence of results. That is commitment of an activity in the apparent absence of results. The apparent absence of results. Yes. Which means don't stop. Don't give up. Don't stop. Keep going. Before the results come. Yeah. Exactly.
18:06
You know, you're going to the gym, you're eating the salads, you're calling new clients, you're reading the books, you're starting the online education program, whatever it is. And you don't see anything and you don't feel anything and no money shows up and you haven't fallen in love yet. I mean, all of those things that haven't happened yet. Well, what does Elon Musk have greater than any person on the face of the earth? He's raging ignorance of doubt. Yes. Have a raging ignorance of doubt. Yes. We always give up before the results come. I think because partly we.
18:35
don't enjoy the journey sometimes. Once the 21 days and we don't see the results, we stop. So more than anything, just enjoy the journey. It's fear of success, it's fear of failure. It's that self-loathing, self-deprecating voice in our head that says, for them, not you, right? No, you couldn't make that money, but they could. You could never be that position because you're not handsome enough. You're not rich enough. You're not educated enough. You're not this. Can you explain the fear of success again? Because I think it's something that a lot of us
19:04
have a bit of a hazy view on, because we all want success. So why are we afraid of at the same time? Because it's your comfort zone. Wherever I am right now, even though it's terrible, I mean, there are people who are living painful lives, stuck, I'll give you one of the great examples of this and the fear of success and the psychological prison that keeps people there. And so a child is born in that walkup.
19:30
and born into a family, maybe a single mom that's had some drug problems before. And then the child grows up feeling all of that pain and experiencing all of those issues. How many pieces of paper are going into that file, right? Then the child becomes an adult and guess what happens? So they have children- Maybe has a couple of children. Because it's the familiarity of the comfort zone. Because they don't believe and it's-
19:55
This is one of the things that I found is one of the greatest examples of psychological prison you could ever have. Because if, if I was living in that project, if I walked eight blocks, eight blocks, I would, I would be in a more affluent area. If I walked 40 blocks, could I find a McDonald's and go in and start sweeping the floor, right? And when I was sweeping the floor, could I read a book?
20:19
And when I read a book, could I take a course? Could I get a better job? Could I start to educate myself? Could I get out of there? And that exists, yet we're seeing multi-generational people living in that psychological prison because the world has convinced them they're those people, right? And we've developed this whole system of keeping you there. Not intentionally, it probably is from the right mindset to say, well, you need assistance. You know, the world should say, Randy, no, see, look, I know you're going through a tough time.
20:48
We're going to give you help for a little while, but here's the path out. It's not a stone to you being on your feet. Absolutely. We expect that within a couple of months, you're going to start to move and get out of here and grow and go on and have an incredible life and shock the world. Isn't that, isn't that the story that people need to hear rather than, Oh, you're those people. No, what is the difference?
21:10
between birthright and opportunity. You have to make your own opportunity. But if you become convinced by all of the information circulating all around you in a firestorm, that this is where you belong, and that is going to be your future, then you end up stuck there. For me, it is such an incredible tragedy. But wouldn't anybody listening, Randy, I hear what you're saying, but wouldn't anybody listening say, it's a little easier for someone to speak if they grew up under the right circumstances, the affluent neighborhood versus...
21:40
where I had to face every obstacle against me because I was in the project situation. Yes and no. Some of the most challenging clients that I've ever worked with were clients who grew up with quote unquote the golden spoon. They lived in an amazing family. They had wonderful support. They were told constantly.
21:58
that they could become anything. And they were coddled so much that they have no spark, they have no passion, they don't know what they wanna do in their lives. It's the rags to riches to rags story, right? That happens to so many people. Could I say that sure, it's an obstacle growing up and being challenged. I remember being homeless at age 14, it was scary. I didn't have a job, didn't have food. I mean, I had to figure it out every day. But I wouldn't trade one day of that because it helped to form
22:28
who I became today, you know, and like Mr. Gretzinger said, look kid, you're not stuck. I found out I didn't have to stay there. You know, once you start walking that, that great quote that by Lao Tzu that says, you know, the journey of a thousand miles begins with the first step. Here's what they don't tell you. You gotta keep walking. That's right. That one step will not do it. Feed the file. You've got to keep walking. Absolutely. I think there's, there comes a time when you.
22:56
need to just stop looking at the deadlines and, oh, I thought by now I would have been at this stage because that's what makes us stop as well. I thought by 20, I would have done this. And the fact that I haven't done it, let me just stop altogether, which I think is one of the biggest mistakes we have. Some people start their careers in their 40s. There is no roadmap that says, here's exactly how it's going to work out. There are no rules to life that say, you achieve this by this time and this by this time and this by this time.
23:24
You know, as Jim Rowan said, success is designing your own life and pulling it off. That's right. Right? He said, you know, if you build a cabin in the woods and feed the squirrels, if you pull it off, you're a smashing success. World says you're feeding squirrels. Say, you know, you have no idea how that makes me feel. That's my goal. You go get your own. Exactly. Yeah, so. Get your own goal. But more than anything, have a raging ignorance of doubt. Just keep going and don't stop.
23:53
Rendita, it's been a pleasure having you today. Thank you so much for spending your time with us. Really wonderful time. Great to meet you. And for everyone, if you had an inspired thought, here's my last note to you. Right away, go and start something. Start it. Send yourself an email, look something up online, go and tell a friend. You're going to start going to the gym. You're going to go and take this course. You're, you're going to become an airline pilot, go and start something. Cause if you don't probably by tomorrow will dissipate and go away.
24:23
and make no mistake, you are capable of absolutely anything. Right. And before you go, please tell us where we can find you. The company that I started, all the information is there. It's TaylorMadeLeadership.com, T-A-Y-L-O-R, MadeLeadership.com. All right, we're gonna find everything about you there. Yes, ma'am. Thank you so much for being with us today. Appreciate you. Appreciate you too. Thank you so much for doing this. Have a wonderful day. You too.