Speaking and Communicating Podcast

We change our words, we change our thoughts.

We change our thoughts, we change our mind.

We change our mind, we will in fact improve the quality of our life.

Welcome back to The Speaking and Communicating Podcast.

I'm your host Roberta.

If you are looking to improve your communication skills, both professionally and personally, this is the podcast you should be tuning into.

And by the end of this episode, please log on to iTunes and Spotify and leave us a rating and a review.

Communicating.

Today, my guest is here to help you break bad habits, stop making the same mistakes, and manifest the life that you desire.

John C.

Morley is a serial entrepreneur.

He's the founder of believeandachieve.com, and he will help you find the passion in your life and live it.

Before I go any further, please help me to welcome him to the show.

Hi, John.

Hi Roberta, it's a privilege and pleasure to be here.

Thank you for taking your time to be on our show, welcome.

Please tell us a little bit about yourself.

I'm a serial entrepreneur.

And just to tell you what that is, it's not just a business owner because a business owner actually owns the business, but they don't do it because they're passionate at it.

And so by being a serial entrepreneur, you usually find something else in your business or another that you wanna fix.

And so you start another business to fix that problem.

I'm an engineer.

I am a national keynote speaker, marketing specialist, video producer.

And I love helping people get that aha moment, letting people see that their tools, they can start to utilize right now.

They don't need to buy a book.

They don't need to spend 700 hours.

They may have to practice a little bit, but they can start making these changes, Roberta, in their life like that.

It seems, especially doing this podcast, there's a lot of stuff that we know when we keep saying the same thing over and over again, but we're not changing.

What's the missing link there?

The question we have to ask ourselves is, do we want to change?

That's number one.

Maybe change is something that we heard from a bandwagon or from other people and we want to be like the Joneses.

So do we really want to make a change or are we just like kind of conning ourselves and say, okay, yeah, I want to change.

And you tell somebody else you want to change, but you're like, no, I'm not changing.

I'm going to tell people I'm going to change, but I'm really not going to change.

So you like elude yourself.

And people are afraid of change because they don't know what it's going to be like or burn.

They know what this is like.

And they figure that if they keep doing the same thing over and over again, maybe they'll get different results, but we all know that they won't.

That's insanity.

So I think people need to learn that lesson.

And what I found is that people don't want to learn that lesson until it gets serious.

Life knocks you over.

Life knocks you over.

Something happens to you, a critical moment.

And you're like, I can't go on.

What do I do?

You know, we're moving so fast, but I always say we got to take the time to smell the roses, enjoy the tea, enjoy our meal, right?

Really just take in all the beauty that's in our life and appreciate everyone else in our life.

It sounds great.

And back in the day, that was possible, but now we're busy.

Technology, there's just so much we have to deal with.

Do we have time to smell those roses?

You're right, Roberta.

And a lot of people in my town, they always say to me, John, you know, I'm busy.

You're all busy, right?

So I come back and I say to them, look, I understand you say you're busy, but most people that tell me they're busy actually are saying that what they're doing is more important than what I'm asking you to do.

And that's okay.

It's probably okay.

So we have to make a choice.

What do we want to do in our lives?

And if we say we're busy all the time, I always make time for everything that I want to do, but things that were kind of on the fence are like, well, I'm busy, right?

The reason that we say we're busy is because we're afraid that if we just keep doing things, we're going to burn out, which I get.

So we have to be selective in what we're doing.

But when somebody asks you to do something and you know that they would help you, you shouldn't be too busy to help them.

I've had many friends in my lives, they need help with something.

You take care of it.

And then a couple of weeks later come, you're like, you know, Joe, I'm moving.

Oh, okay.

Wonder, could you give me a help?

Oh, John, it's really not a good time, like my work.

And they don't get back to you.

So what do you do?

So what I do is I just ignore them.

They really weren't genuinely interested in helping you.

They were just trying to have their handout to receive.

So I think that's the problem with a lot of people in life is that they have the hand to receive, but not the hand to give.

One of the recent episodes I just released, that guest spoke about how life is becoming more transactional.

We've taken the human element out of dealing with each other, be it in business or in person.

You're 100% right.

I have a show coming up, JMOR Tech Talk this Friday, and we have a great guest coming on.

It's not a live person.

Chat GPT is going to be on my show.

And I'm literally going to have them as a guest in a square on my screen.

I'm going to be talking to Chat GPT and asking Chat GPT questions and questions that I know that Chat GPT can't really answer.

Oh.

And they'll come back to me things like, you know, John, that's a great question, but it's probably one you might have a better answer for than I.

When you ask it a question that is not specific to data, Chat GPT works on artificial intelligence and it works on data.

If it has the data, it can obviously make the reference.

But one of the things that Chat GPT can't do, AI can't do is it can't make a decision about feelings.

Yes, which is the human element.

The question, as we know, it can see through the senses, it can smell, it can touch, right?

And it can hear.

Now remember, all these things that it's sensing are coming in as zeros and ones, which it's decodes as data.

When you and I see something, goes into our eyes, the rods and the cones, we see colors.

When we hear something, how the auditory nerve vibrates, right?

And when we touch something, we can tell the dexterity, an egg or a feather, we can do all that.

And so when a robot or a system that's gonna be AI touches something, it just calibrates it as knowing that this is an object and this is the type of touch I need to be listening to it.

And so if you ask the computer, well, how did you feel about breaking the egg?

That's not what I know that.

Well, when you broke the egg, what did you feel like?

That was an heirloom.

That egg was in the family for 100 years.

I'm sorry.

I'm not able to process an answer to that at this time.

Was there another question I can answer?

So that's kind of what's gonna happen.

My feeling is ChatGPT shouldn't have been rolled out yet.

I don't think the world is ready for it.

And I also feel that technology should never be used to make a decision about humans or life.

Before I graduated college, a company wanted to hire me for quite a bit of money.

And I knew what they did because a friend of mine worked for them.

And I said, sir, I said, I'll be happy to do anything you want me to do.

I said, as long as it's not involving creating, making, managing, writing code into software, hardware, to actually be part of any system now or in the future, they'll be responsible for killing another human being.

And when I said that, he sat back in his chair and he's like, well, you know who we are.

I said, I know exactly who you are.

He said, well, we're prepared to offer you a very nice check.

I said, well, sir, I know money will come to me in the matter of what I do, as long as I'm passionate about it and I do it well.

I know that if I was to work for your company, and I think that's what you're doing because you just rolled your eyes, that I would take your check, but I know I would not be able to live with myself each night knowing that I created something that could potentially kill someone.

Yes, you couldn't be able to live with yourself, which is what I think capitalism, where this economy is going.

That's why you're saying it keeps having less and less of the human element.

But I think the biggest challenge that we have to realize is that people still want human touch.

Nothing wrong with Zoom, nothing wrong with all these different things we do, but people still do want the human touch.

That's right.

Okay, and they don't want it to be, like you said, transactional.

I was taking a ride home the other day from Lyft, and the guy didn't pick me up.

He called me and he said, where are you?

I said, I'm right here.

Give me five minutes.

I wasn't even two minutes.

He was already gone.

I then got a bill on my phone telling me I got a $5 penalty for not showing up for the driver.

But here's the interesting part.

I rescheduled the next driver.

They came right away.

I wanted to dispute the $5.

You know, I couldn't call them.

I had to go through the chat function.

How can we help you today?

Refund for what?

Yes, great, was it the ride with such and such?

Yes, great, we've processed your refund.

Is there anything else we can do for you today?

There's no need for you to talk to us.

Your refund will be processed within seven to 10 business days.

So everything is becoming that way.

You know, the big letters, Amazon, all these places.

I predicted eventually these companies would all do respect to them.

And they've even said this too.

They're gonna implode on themselves.

That's exploding internally.

They're not gonna be able to take how things are operating.

They're just not gonna be able to handle it.

And this is why when they're trying to bring this technology in the hospitals and all these other places, I think there is a great place for something that's transactional, that's a process.

Nothing wrong with that.

But I don't think technology should make a decision on someone based on some data we gathered on the internet.

So back to the movie, The Secret, we've always trying to manifest the lives we desire, but it's just not happening.

And since the movie was released, it hasn't seemed to work for most of us.

What do you think is the-

There's more to it than that movie tells you.

First thing is how many of you ever get up in the morning?

And I don't know, maybe you have a glass of orange juice.

And because you're in a rush, you break the orange juice glass and maybe you spill your milk all over the counter and onto your pants.

So now you're like, oh, and you say some choice words.

And like, oh, the rest of this is just a horrible day.

You get changed.

You're now gonna possibly be late.

You get in your car and you hear there's an accident.

Meanwhile, you're going to see a prime client at your office, an A client.

You don't even bother to call them.

You figure it's gonna be fine.

And when you get there, it's about 20 minutes late, they're like, oh, Joe, you know, we were actually gonna use you.

But frankly, if you can't keep your own personal life intact, how are you gonna manage a billion dollar campaign with us?

And so what we focus on is what we become.

Earl Nightingale said this many years ago.

We change our words, we change our thoughts.

We change our thoughts, we change our mind.

We change our mind and we will in fact improve the quality of our life.

We know that energy is very important.

You and I are just energy.

We're not solid.

We are molecules, not to get to quantum physics here, but the thing is, is that we're all vibrating.

And so we're all energy.

And with us all being energy, our thoughts and energy are very important.

Wherever our thoughts are going, that's where energy is gonna flow.

People say to me, oh John, I'm thinking about, I don't know, a lion in my chair.

I look back like, I don't see a lion in my chair.

Well, it's not gonna happen that fast.

The thing that The Secret doesn't tell you is you have to take inspired action.

That's part of it.

So another big part of it is you have to know what you want.

That's number one.

So I don't know, maybe you want a new car.

I did this, it was one of the first things I manifested when I got out of college.

I wanted a certain kind of luxury car.

When I graduated college, I basically went to the dealership, didn't have any money to buy a car.

All the previous cars my parents had helped me get.

And so I said, I wanna get this car on my own.

I went to test drive the car and there was a kid a little older, a little younger than me.

And he's like, oh, he's like, we're not gonna waste our time letting you test drive a car.

You can't even afford the car.

I said, you're right, I can't afford the car today, but I'm gonna get that car.

All right, when you have the money, come back.

So I was a little offended.

I walked over to the manager.

I said, thank you so much for your time.

He said, well, what happened?

I said, well, your lawyer person didn't want me to drive the car.

Well, why not?

I'm not buying it.

He said, well, that doesn't matter.

I said, well, I just wanna test drive the car.

He said, yeah, sure, why not?

Meanwhile, he puts me into the car, gets the whole test drive, the whole thing.

And he's like having a fit at his desk because he's like, we don't wanna waste time with this person.

I remember, you know, looking at the car, taking pictures of the car, smelling the car, feeling the car, just getting all my senses wrapped into it.

Hearing the nav, just really knowing this car is mine.

Okay, this is my car.

It might not be delivered in my driveway yet, but this is my car, and I love it.

And I'm so grateful to have this car.

Well, after I left the dealership and had an amazing experience, I went home and I loaded my iPhone, my computer, with screensavers and backgrounds of this car.

Of the same car.

Same color, same everything.

And so then I did something else, Roberta.

I decided to take a test drive in my car every night.

I sat in my chair.

I'm also, as I told you, certified in neuro-linguistic programming and the silver method and hypnosis.

But all I did was I closed my eyes and I took a deep breath.

Held it for three.

I took a breath for in and out.

For three, while I pictured the number three on my head three times.

Then I did the number two.

Inhale for three.

Seen the number two in my head several times.

Holding it and then exhaling.

Again, to the count of three.

Last time, inhale for three.

Picture the number one three times.

Holding it and then releasing it for a count of three.

And now I'm at level one.

Yeah, and then I decided in the beginning, you always want to start counting from a hundred if you're new to this.

So now I only do like 10, but I started with a hundred.

And I just started going a hundred.

And I just started just letting my mind just drift.

I took my eyes and I just kind of looked up a little bit at my brow while they were closed.

And I said, okay, let me go take a drive in my car.

I wonder where I should drive today.

So I got in my chair.

I said, oh yeah, that's right.

This has a smart start, this car.

I don't have to have keys.

The keys are in my pocket.

I pressed the button.

I first made sure the mirrors, made sure everything was good.

Put my seatbelt on.

Memory seat was all adjusted the way I wanted it.

And I pressed the button.

Power started.

Make sure the air conditioning, everything was good.

I said, oh, let me just check, make sure no one's behind me.

Oh, that's right.

I got the rear view camera.

Back up.

I'm gonna go to my street.

Then I'm just gonna drive around the neighborhood a little bit.

I won't go too far.

And I just started driving.

This is nice.

I'm just driving around.

All right, let me make a left on the street.

Watch for the dogs.

I wave at the neighbors.

And just kind of driving around.

Maybe took it a five or 10 minute drive.

I said, it was good.

I think I'm gonna drive back home.

That was a lot of fun today.

And then after I did that for a week, I said, you know what?

I think I'm gonna go to the store with my car.

Today, I think I'm gonna go for a car wash.

So you really felt the experiences of already having the car.

Yes, Robert.

So that is the first thing.

Now, we want the car, but we don't know how to break the habits that are holding us back from getting the car.

So the habit that you don't want the car, let's just say, I don't have the money, I'm never gonna get the car, that's a problem.

So what we need to do is say, car's not here yet, but it's on its way.

It's being made.

They're actually making it for me right now.

It's just not ready yet.

But when it's ready, I'm gonna get it.

And within six months, that car showed up in my driveway.

Was that magic?

Well, I had to take steps, obviously, to get the car.

But I was tuned in to the frequency.

Now we all know radio stations, right?

So if you tune your dial to a certain frequency, you're gonna hear that radio station.

I just tuned myself into the frequency of my new car.

I even had pictured when I got the car, because a lot of times at the dealerships, they don't always give you things, because sometimes they're cheap.

I pictured that when I get the car, sales rep's gonna probably give me money to go get dinner.

The car's gonna come pre-filled with gas.

And they're also gonna give me a gift certificate to go get a collection of music or something.

Before I pulled out, Mr.

Morley, we just wanna say thank you to you.

Here's a gift card to go get yourself and whoever some dinner.

Oh, by the way, here's a $50 gift certificate to go get some music for your car.

Not who was gonna give it to me, but I pictured that.

So you might say to me, and I'll talk about how we can resolve it.

Now you might say, John, how do I feel something?

Cause I've had that challenge too.

How do you feel something when-

It's not there yet.

You're not gonna get it, right?

How do you do that?

And so that's a little tricky.

There's a couple of ways to get around that.

The first thing you have to realize is that I said, it's not here yet, but it's on its way.

It's not here yet, but it's on its way.

Another thing you can do, courtesy of Neville Goddard, I didn't know this technique back then, is to write down on a piece of paper, I don't have the new car.

I don't have the new car.

I don't have the new car.

I don't have the new car.

I don't have the new car.

And I was specific which car.

I don't have the white ball of a car.

Isn't that counterproductive?

Shouldn't you up from that coming, being there already?

No, it's not.

Because your mind doesn't hear the not.

I'll tell you how I know this.

So Neville Goddard was around many, many years ago.

And he was doing a service after church.

He told everyone in the group that you're not gonna climb a ladder, okay?

You're not gonna climb a ladder.

You're not gonna climb a ladder.

You're gonna riot everywhere.

You're gonna think about, I'm not gonna climb a ladder no matter what.

I'm not gonna climb a ladder.

I'm just not gonna climb a ladder.

And he says, when you go to bed at night, just before you're drowsing off, like between that state, basically you have your beta, which is our life, which we're at now.

You have alpha, theta, and then you have delta.

Theta and delta is very strong.

So right in that theta state, before you're kind of going off to sleep, just picture yourself, you know, see a ladder.

Picture yourself grabbing the ladder.

Picture yourself just walking up that ladder every night.

And when they're a couple of days, you're gonna climb a ladder.

So it works.

Our imagination, our subconscious, 97% runs our body.

Most people don't know that.

The programs of what we're doing are there because of people to put them in our heads.

Ourselves, our parents, friends, relatives.

So it leads me to another important point.

One is if someone says something to you like, oh, you're not a this, you're not a great that, I'm never nasty to them.

I'm like, you know, I appreciate your comment.

I've been doing this for several years.

Many people love my work, but thanks, have a great day.

See, you need to negate it.

You don't have to be nasty.

If you just walk away and you say nothing, that's fine as long as you say it in your brain, I'm good at this.

Because if you don't say anything, your brain is going to take that as an okay, like a save.

It's like they're rejecting you and your expertise or what you think you're good at.

So how do we handle rejection and it doesn't get to us?

No one, no one, no one, no one, no one, no one, no one, no one has the right to make you feel inferior about yourself, except for one person, you.

So when somebody is negative around me, I say, hey, you know, what happened?

What's going on?

Oh, John, it's not a great time.

All right, no problem.

Why don't we catch up another time?

Yeah, that's fine.

Another time comes, oh, just having a horrible time at work, quotas, my girlfriend, this, that.

All right, well, call me again.

We'll do this again another time.

Like I said, I'd rather, you know, it doesn't seem like you want to really do anything fun tonight, so call me when you're ready because I don't want to hang around with you right this.

Third time gets together.

What's going on?

Yeah, just not a good, you know, I don't think we probably should hang around anymore.

You know, it was fun, but I think we've outgrown each other.

To be honest, I don't hang around negative people and it sounds like that's the path you're going down.

So I think I'm just going to say goodbye.

Whether you're in sales or you go for a job interview and they reject you, how do you handle rejection?

Because that's one thing that really gets to us.

Yeah, I'll get to that and then I'll get to how we fix that problem we were talking about.

So before I started my company, one of my IT companies was part-time when I started in college, but it was part-time.

And I worked for the government, didn't get paid what I was worth, but it was okay.

I just wanted the first job and they weren't treating me very well.

And I decided after all, I say, you know what?

I don't need this abuse.

I think I should quit, but I need to do it in a proper way.

And so I remember going into the HR's office, person's lady's office.

I'll call her Mary, that's in her name.

Knock their doors.

Hey, Mary, do you have a second for me?

Oh yeah, sure, John.

I just want to say thank you.

Oh, you're welcome.

For what?

I want to thank you for helping me become a better version of myself.

Oh, you're welcome.

Because today, Mary, is my very last day.

I'm not a fan of this negative culture, controlling people, manipulating people, chasing them because they're three minutes late.

You know, you want me to race a traffic light.

Well, John, you know you're gonna lose your vesting.

No matter what I do, I'm gonna make money.

I'm not gonna be manipulated by anyone.

So you gotta be nice to people.

Not because you have to, but because you want to.

When you're nice to somebody because you have to, it shows.

So that's the rejection piece.

But we also reject ourselves.

So we have to love, like, trust and believe in ourselves.

That's why I have a hat on believemeachieve.com.

That's my slogan, believe and achieve.

We have to believe before we can achieve anything.

If we never believe in ourself, we're never going anywhere.

And so when we talk about manifesting, we want to feel at first, manifest at second.

See, things get created first in the mind, then they get created a second time in the world.

And so how do you make that car happen?

So when I went home, I felt it.

But if you're somebody that, I don't know, you're trying to manifest a car, but you just can't do it.

You might say, hey John, I can't visualize.

Well, first of all, you don't need to see the car in the exact colors.

You'll get better with visualization as you do it.

But even if you just see it as best as you can, that's fine.

The challenge comes when people can't visualize because they don't feel they're worthy.

Whenever I have trouble, let's say in the past, trying to manifest something, and I know I'm worthy of it, what I do is I go back to my grandparents and I go back to remembering the best times of my life with them.

And I go back to saying, you know, grandpa, you know, grandma, this is what I'm working on right now, hoping you can help me.

I'm building this home.

I just want to tell you what it's going to look like.

I know you're probably going to see it when it's done, but I just want to share it with you because I know you'd be supportive if you were here.

Or I just want to tell you about my new car that I'm getting, or I want to tell you about this new customer I'm getting, or I want to tell you about this new radio show.

I just want to tell you what I'm doing because I got to share it with someone and I know you're not going to tell me.

And strangely, after that, you start to visualize it because you're trying to tell it to your grandma.

You're trying to give that picture.

Start to physically see it, yeah.

Yes, because I'm trying to show grandma, show grandpa what I'm trying to build.

And when you're doing that, see, when you involve another person, it's almost impossible to not visualize.

It's like having an accountability partner.

Right, when you try to do it yourself, but a lot of people think that you have to have someone alive to visualize, you can, but I'm proof that you can have people that have passed away and use them to help you visualize.

And so-

You can do it in so many different ways.

Before we wrap up, I just want you to give us just one strong tip of something when people finish listening, that they can then start doing today.

The one thing I can share with you, Roberta, is to develop an attitude of gratitude.

I call it John's alphabet of gratitude.

And so you take every letter of the alphabet, but you would start in the morning, at least do it once or twice a day.

And so you're like, you know, I'm so happy and grateful.

And now you don't want to just say it.

You want to feel it.

And I didn't even get into this with you guys.

Your brain is not what runs your body.

Even though subconscious runs it, your heart is where the feeling engine is.

Your heart is what sends more data to the brain than the brain sends to the heart.

So A, not just saying it, I feel it.

I'm so grateful to be alive.

I can feel it.

Another one is I am so grateful to have hair.

I'd be able to breathe so well.

I'd be like, I love the beautiful birds that I get to see in here every day.

So you feel them, you go through it.

So the practices, the more that you're grateful for things, the more that things will show up in your life that you can become grateful for.

I don't care if you have one penny to your name, be grateful for that penny, be grateful for the clothes on your back, be grateful you're alive, be grateful for everything that is around you and in your life.

Attitude of gratitude, words of wisdom from John C.

Morley, a serial entrepreneur and founder of Believe and Achieve.

John, thank you so much for showing us how to manifest the lives that we desire and we are going to start putting those practices today.

It was a privilege and a pleasure and I have to tell all of you this, you all can do this.

To be grateful is a choice.

And so you can choose to be happy, you can choose to be grateful and you can choose to manifest but also choose not to manifest.

Which are you gonna do?

Good question, John.

And where can we find you on social media or the internet?

Oh, you can find me at believemeachieve.com.

That's B-E-L-I-E-V-E, me, meachieve.com.

I have my daily podcast, which is over 580 episodes now.

And I also have a national radio show that's on every Tuesday morning called Inspirations of Your Life, Drive Time.

And there's so much more great content.

You can check out my articles that are free.

And there's just so much stuff you can start making a part of your life because just like you have a diet to eat well, you need a mental diet because that is just as important as the food that you and I digest every single day.

Very true, believemeachieve.com.

Thank you so much, John C.

Morley.

Don't forget to subscribe.

My pleasure.

Thank you for being here.

Don't forget to subscribe, give a rating and a review on iTunes and Spotify and stay tuned for more episodes.