Speaking and Communicating Podcast

Hello everyone, welcome to the Speaking and Communicating podcast. My name is Roberta and today I have a very special guest. His name is Aaron Whitfield. He is an educator and a curriculum developer for university. And before we go any further, let me give this opportunity to Aaron to introduce himself. Hi Aaron.
00:30
purpose, insight, and creating impact, no matter where you are, no matter what position that you hold. So thank you for this opportunity. Sounds like it's gonna be an interesting and very well informed conversation. Now start us off with what exactly do you do at the university? So I work at a major university here in the United States in which I design programs and curriculum geared toward either African-American or students of color.
00:57
And so anything from motivational services to providing academic services and academic support in creating the, as I say, the holistic student, not just a student that is focused on academics, but the student who was also focused on having the 4.0 GPA in the classroom, but also being a 4.0 person. And so I'm here to provide that type of support and help them get toward graduation, but also
01:26
helping them find purpose in their life. This is proof of community. So more of the self-development aspect in addition to the academic aspect. Absolutely, we talk so much about academics and education and GPAs. And I tell my students, what's the point of having a 4.0 GPA if you feel like a 1.0 person? And so I want- Say that again. What's the purpose of having a 4.0 GPA if you feel like a 1.0 person?
01:54
And so one of my biggest things for them is they are driven. They are very, as what they will call themselves, hard workers, even though I try not to, I try to encourage them to see themselves as more than laborers and not being hard workers or working with their minds. But I would hate for them to be in a position in which they've had financial success or they have the position that they've always wanted, but they hate themselves as people. Because I see that a lot. I see that a lot with.
02:23
people who reach their peak, but yet they are in their valley when it comes to their emotions and their mental health. And so- When you specifically talk about those people, what do you think was missing along their journey to the financial success? I think that when it comes to, especially students of color and people of color in the United States, we are taught and conditioned to achieve financial success.
02:53
and the financial success. Isn't that what everybody's taught? Sorry about that. Isn't that what everybody's taught? I think for some white Americans, I think that's almost assumed that you will achieve financial success. But also I think when it comes to the African-American or the people of color experiencing United States, painting financial success is not as available. And so I think for generations, we've been told,
03:20
get this job, work at such and such a company and get a good job, that way you maintain financial success for generations. But what's the point of attaining it if your heart is broken? And so, Ian, you can have both, you can attain it and have a full heart. You know, and not be broken. And so I try to bring not one, and so it's like, what, so what is the point of attaining this financial, this financial success when we're broken inside? And so it is,
03:51
you know, we're chasing this position in life with a broken heart. And so a lot of times I tell my students and I tell, you know, my colleagues, you can have both. You know, it's not one versus the other. You can achieve both, have both financial success and emotional wealth. And so why not have both? You deserve both. And so that's, you know, a lot of what my beliefs lie in. You say you work for the...
04:19
Leadership Institute of the University? Yes, yes. Okay. There is a Leadership Institute that we have here at the university, which I work in, which is geared toward helping young men, as I mentioned, young men of color, see themselves as leaders, not only within themselves, but also within their homes and campus, in the greater community, and ultimately into the world. Right. And so it is a 13-week
04:49
essentially class, which we meet every Wednesdays. And we just pour into the students. We bring in community leaders, we bring in academic professors, but we bring in people ultimately that are real and authentic to speak to the students and their messages often line up with the curriculum that I design. Okay, that's very key because one of the things that we focus on on this podcast is,
05:17
growing yourself into a potential leader through communication skills, through, like you said, the person that you become, and not just a subject matter expert, but a holistic person. So that journey, I think for me, it's a very important one in those students' lives, because you can be as brilliant as you want to be in academics, but if you are not able to interact with people, to be a team player, to be...
05:46
see it to see yourself as part of a community, you will not be able to see yourself as part of a project team. Absolutely, because everyone has a story. Everyone has a background. In fact, next week's lesson, and mind you, these are students whose, I mean, their GPAs are 3.7, 3.8, 3.9, 4.0. So these are high achieving students, but we're talking next week about their story.
06:11
and realizing that we each have a story, we each have a background, and your background influences where you are right now, but also makes you an individual to ultimately be a teacher, whether you are in a corporate setting, in a community setting within your home or anywhere else. And so- We say that a lot. I'm sorry to interrupt you. Yes, that's our theme actually for many of our public speaking coaching events is everybody has a story.
06:40
And when you tell your story, that's what connects you to your audiences, to other humans, because we are just connected as humans. And if something in me, my experience, if I share that with you, that's going to connect. But if I just come with only abstract concepts, I mean, you'll be able to learn for sure. But there's something that just connects us through our stories.
07:09
It's hard. It's, you know, you could be a wonderful leader, have all the information, and yet if you don't connect with people, who are you leading? You can't be a leader and not connect with people because then you're only leading self in where you're going. Right. And so I want my students to embrace their stories, their stories, and not just trials, but their trials, and for them to honor the stories of their families and to honor the legacy. We are all teachers.
07:39
and we are all storytellers. And that's what makes you, the story is what makes you the person that you are today. It makes you, it doesn't define you, you define it because you write your own story. That's perfect, say that again. You invest in empowerment, you write your own story. This life will try to define you and try to dictate your story, but you are the voice to your own story. You are narrating your own story. You are your own legend.
08:08
And so we are talking about that next week. And I'm super excited for that portion of the Leadership Institute. Yeah, that's gonna be a very powerful one. Hopefully you'll come back to do this podcast one day and share with us how that went. Absolutely. Now take us through the, you said you also do development coaching and self-improvement. Yes, yes. So my heart is to help people find what they're here to do.
08:37
We live in society in which, I think we'll talk about this later, in which we're very position field or position driven. But like, but what's your purpose? And so I love sitting down with individuals, whether it be individuals or groups or corporate teams in talking about what is the true purpose of what you do, not what you produce, but what are you here to do as an individual? And how does that
09:05
individual purpose lends itself to a team atmosphere. Providing people with insight as to who they are and not just what they are told they are or what they do. We each have purpose and so I love to help people find that. Do you think that it's becoming a bit of a lonely road to-
09:29
strive towards that because I feel like society is becoming more and more individualistic. Or is this a pessimistic view on my part? You know, I think it is a lonely road. I am writing a book called The Loneliness of Leadership. And because, you know, we talk a lot about leadership and be a leader, but oftentimes when you lead people, you are the person who has the vision.
09:58
for people who don't have the vision. And so how do you get people who don't have the vision to follow the vision that you know will benefit them? And so leadership can be extremely lonely when you have the information, you gotta sort of gather the group to move with you. But I agree with you, I think that being, I think that our society and our society we're not taught how to follow.
10:26
You're almost, we are conditioned to go into the workforce and that's it. To get the paycheck and that's it. But like, but for me, I look at it as, yes, you may get your paycheck but where's your heart investment. Do you have, how do you invest in other people and not just get a paycheck but how do you take what you have your stories your heart your passion, your purpose your experience your wisdom. Are you investing that in other people.
10:55
Because that's way more important to me. Yes, that's when you make an impact, not just the money, but the insight, the emotional wealth, as you were referring to earlier. That's how you impact other people. And that purpose and that bigger mission is way bigger than just your individual needs and your individual goals. Absolutely. And this is where, Roberta, I believe that I don't know if people understand
11:24
that they have the power to create impact. A lot of my conversations, whether they be with students or CEOs or business managers, are do you understand that you have the power to change someone's life? Each day, not only do you have the power, but you have the opportunity to change the path of someone's life. And so when I say that to them, at first they reject the notion.
11:53
because we're conditioned to reject positivity. If I were to tell them that you can't do anything, that you won't, that you're only this, they'll almost accept that more than my positivity. But after showing- They've heard it. Yep. Yeah. Look, they're conditioned to it. They condition their ears to it. But if I tell them that they have the opportunity and the drive and the power to change someone's life, once they see it, they see it.
12:21
and they become less position driven and they become more purpose driven. And so I love seeing people connect in understanding that they are empowered enough to change, change whatever circumstance they're in, they're empowered enough to change, to help evolve people and grow people, that they're empowered. And so it's important to know that. Which means that how you narrate your story,
12:50
would be different if you see the power in it and the impact that it can have versus just seeing it as potentially something bad that happened and you know something to just put in the past. Yes, we live the past in the past but if you can narrate it differently it empowers you too and you can use that to impact other people. Absolutely and that's the power of the voice and that's why it's so important to teach people that yes you have a story
13:20
but the person who's telling your story is you, therefore you also have the voice. And with your voice, you were able to tell your story, to dictate your story, to highlight your story. And so yes, find your voice within all of this. We almost live in a society in some ways in which our voice is suppressed.
13:46
And, but you have to find your voice amongst the noise. You have to find, even people can tell you. You have to dig out and you know how you come from the deep end of a pool. You have to swim upstream until your head is above the water. Absolutely. You have to find it. Cause once you find it, you can't, you won't lose it again. No, nobody can take that away from you. Yep. Absolutely. Remember Lissa Nichols, one of the teachers of the secret.
14:15
Lisa Nichols, her company is motivating the masses and she focuses mainly on the youth, which I think more or less is the same age group that you deal with as well. That's right. And she always starts them with the story, yes, of where they come from and how tough it is. But then she comes to a point where we're not gonna just sit in your story forever, because it's gonna keep you where you are. It's a
14:44
many of the youth that I come in contact with, they don't understand that they have a story. And so, and mind you, and from, you know, the kids that I know, I know they have a story because their parents, I work with a lot of first generation American born students, their parents have a story. So they will honor their parents' story, but they won't honor their own story. Their own. Yeah, and they don't tie their story in with their parents.
15:12
and realize that that is a greater part of their story. And so to sit down with someone and help them flush out their story, help them see their story in a bigger picture and that they're not just here, they didn't just land here, whether you're born in America or you're not, you didn't just land in a place. You travel. There's purpose to everything, yeah. You travel, how did you get here? What was this experience like? And so it's almost like a discovery moment.
15:41
of them understanding like I have a story that is unique to me and that my story is not generic and that my story is important and that my story ultimately should be told and shared. Because each one of us has a story that should be shared because that's how you create as we spoke about earlier, that human connection. Exactly. That will ultimately help you be, you know, the leader that you're called to be. And it makes you who you are.
16:09
at that stage in your life, as you grow, your story is a part of this whole combination of everything else that you are. Your story is your teaching tool because our stories are so different. And so as being both a, yes, I'm a teacher, but also I'm a student. I'm always a teacher and a student each moment of life. And so your story will help someone can provide some wisdom or perspective.
16:38
There've been so many times in which people have told me stories of their lives and I've mentally transported back to seeing where they are. Right. Because that's the richness of the story of words, of heart, of truth and honesty. And so we need those moments of connection in stories, historically have been those points of connecting not only people, but time.
17:05
That's right. And so we have to share our stories, understand the value in each one of our stories. Here's been my experience as well when I speak in public. Obviously, I'll always have a theme of whatever it's supposed to be that I'm speaking about, all the technical, academic concepts. And then when I've shared a story, you find that people who contact me afterwards, that's the part they remember mostly. Yeah.
17:34
Yeah, yes, my purpose was to teach them all the technical details. But if I shared a story, and it's powerful and I give them a few seconds to just digest it and let it sink. That's the one thing they take away. You know, it's funny you mentioned that because as an educator and as a as a teacher.
18:02
youth from over 20 different countries across the world, mainly East or West African. And I would teach them, you know, I would teach, you know, whether it be math, English, social studies, whatever it may be. And most of the time, I would say, I don't wanna put a number on it, but I would say 99%, let's go with that random number. 99% of the time, the students don't remember one thing I've taught them from a book. They don't remember that I taught, that I helped teach them algebra too, or that I looked over their paper,
18:32
on such a, such a, such a day. They remember the times in which I made them cookies and I gave them cookies. They remember the time in which they were having a bad day and we sat down and we talked about their day. They remember the times in which we had human connection. And I think that's so important. We put so much focus on this information from this wealth of knowledge that really our wealth, yeah, it's up here. We have wealth in our minds and our knowledge, but we also have this wealth
19:02
heart. And that should be shared just as much as our wealth, if not more than our wealth within our mind. You know, when they say people don't care how much you know until you they know how much you care. Yes. That's exactly when you shared that. That's what that's what came to my mind is that just showing them that you actually care about them as individuals.
19:30
made more of an impact than just, you know, whatever the academic curriculum you were supposed to teach them. Because as a leader, you're meeting them at their heart, you're meeting them where they are, not where you want them to be. Which then motivates them to do whatever you need them to do. Accomplish the goal, finish the mission. Let's work towards the bigger, the bigger picture.
19:56
Because now that their hearts are touched, they'd be willing to go the extra mile, whatever it is that needs to be done. Yep, it is value. It's showing that I value you, not as someone who is going to increase my numbers, not someone who is going to sell the most products, but I value you as a person more so than what you produce. And when it comes to leadership, that is paramount. You know, you have to value the person
20:25
more so than the product or whatever they produce because people need to feel valued. I know in our workplaces that we're taught to be less, we're conditioned to be less personal. This is a workspace. Yes. We're only here to be- Be professional, yes. Be professional. And we hold ourselves to a standard that is non-existent. We're not as professional as what we project ourselves to be.
20:53
Because it's a requirement so that we achieve the level of success we hope to because we need to be seen a certain way. Yep. We want to crunch out numbers we want to reach a certain point of of merit that is that is based upon, you know, some sort of some sort of number, we want to reach this goal this number goal, but then will be burned out in our workplaces.
21:20
So what can leaders do in order to create a corporate culture, a corporate environment where you have the technical skills obviously taking first place, but then you still have the hard human element in it too. It takes training and it takes more, even before training, it takes a one. You have to see people as people.
21:47
You can't see them just as workers. You can't see them just as laborers. Yeah, you're not just a number that is replaceable. There has to be a value placed upon each individual working at that establishment within the organization. I operate from my sort of viewpoint on leadership is much like a puzzle. So I may be a main piece of the puzzle. I am merely a piece of the puzzle. I'm not the whole puzzle.
22:16
without this other piece over here, whether it be a child or whether it be an adult, whether it be someone who has a GED or someone who has degrees from whatever university across this world, we're all a piece of the puzzle and my picture is now whole without you. And so everybody brings something to the puzzle. Everybody brings something to the table and something of value.
22:45
to the table, something different to the table, but we're all at the table together. And if leadership and organizations view themselves as less being this hierarchical sort of viewpoint of leadership and of ultimately a power, in a sense saw themselves as pieces of a puzzle all on the same plane. I firmly believe that workplace culture would change.
23:13
And not only would you produce more, but you'll retain more when it comes to workers. You'll promote more. It would just be just a better culture. The culture will be better. Which means everybody benefits. Everybody should benefit. And not just financially, but emotionally, holistically, everybody should benefit. So give us three things quickly that leaders can do in corporate.
23:40
environments, what they can do to create the kind of culture where employees feel that valued. I think leaders should ultimately, number one, position versus purpose. As a leader, it's wonderful to have the position, but if you lack purpose within that position, you are only giving maybe half of what you could as a leader. I believe I will always have purpose in what I do. I may not always have a job position.
24:10
but I will always have purpose wherever I do, whether it be a home or in my office or just walking on the street. And so I encourage leaders to see themselves as purpose-driven and not just position-driven. Like what is your purpose as a leader? What's your purpose as a CEO? What are you there to do, not just when, you know, putting numbers or attaining these company goals. Or just reporting to the board of directors. Yeah. What's your life goal?
24:37
your life goal, what's your life goal? And how does that influence within your job position? And then number two. Number two also just creating impact. Each day being impact focused, having the sense and the insight and the really the empowerment to realize that you can create positive impact each and every day in someone's life. You can do something life-changing that would change the trajectory of someone's life. But also,
25:07
having enough sense to understand that your life also needs to be impacted. That's right. You cannot pour in what you don't have. You can't. You can't. And some people need to pour into you and that you are a vessel that you deserve to be poured into. You deserve to be impacted too. And so it's twofold. How do you create positive impact, but also how do you open yourself up to being positively impacted by anyone you come in contact with?
25:35
And so that would be my number two. Because I think just to interrupt your, because I think sometimes when we're in leadership positions, we always feel that we need to present this front of, oh, I have my stuff together. I'm so put together that I don't need to say that I need to be poured into as well. Because I'm not seen as somebody who deserves to be in this position in the first place, because I'm supposed to be all put together if I'm in this position.
26:03
That's part of that imposter syndrome mixed with also, you can get to the place of only finding wisdom and people who you deem are above you. And if you can only hear or see from people who you see are above you, you're gonna miss the grand picture. You're only seeing a piece of the picture. And so you have to be willing to hear wisdom on all levels. On all sides, okay. Number three, before we share,
26:33
where people can find you. What's the third last tip for any leader? The third one would be insight versus eyesight. And I coach people, what do you see within yourself? I literally, Roberta, I tell people close your eyes and tell me what you see, which may seem contradictory. How can you see with your eyes closed? Of course, yeah. But within you, you have a story and within you, you have a vision. And oftentimes our eyesight
27:03
Our eyesight can stop us. Our eyesight, things that we see happening in this world, things that we see happening in our society, it is almost an avenue for fear. But if we close our eyes and use our eyesight to find faith, to find courage, to find heart, to find purpose and passion, we have to start utilizing our eyesight and relying on, I'm sorry, utilizing our insight.
27:29
and relying on our insight to tell us as leaders where we need to go. Not be so dictated by our eyesight as to where we're head, but like, where do you know you need to go as a leader? So insight versus eyesight. So what our eyes do is they make us see, okay, this is how the world is. So I'm supposed to go in this direction because that's where everything looks like. It's headed that way. Yes, our eyesight is limited just in general.
27:59
Our eyesight is limited. We can't see, but only so far. But I don't feel like our insight is limited. No, not at all. Our insight can travel to places that our eyesight has not seen. And so it's like, what do you see on the inside of yourself? Where do you see yourself going? I ask this, where do I see myself in the next three years that my eyesight can't see? My insight would tell me across, overseas. I'll be overseas. I'll be in such a, such a place.
28:29
And so we have to rely on that as almost a piece of the guide to take us to where we ultimately are or to where we ultimately want to be. Aaron, thank you so much. You've shared such wealth information with us today. And I hope anyone who's listening, who hopes to be a leader or in a leadership position will take this into consideration. Now, before we close, please share with us where we can find you.
28:57
social media handles, website, anything that you have. I'm on Instagram at Black Introvert Podcast, which also coincides. Very slow, very slow when you say that. I apologize. I'll start from the top. I have a podcast called the Semi-Social Life of a Black Introvert Podcast. The Semi-Social Life of a Black Introvert Podcast.
29:27
Check me out on Spotify, on Apple Podcasts, on any major podcast streaming services. I talk a lot about the same things we're talking about here and just about life and perspective. Instagram at Black Introvert Podcast. Black Introvert Podcast, all one word. All one word. Black Introvert.
29:55
podcast on Instagram. Yep. The semi social life of a black black introvert is the podcast. Yes. Okay. You don't sound introverted at all. But thank you so much for being with us today. No problem. Thank you so much.