Speaking and Communicating Podcast

Welcome back to the Speaking and Communicating Podcast.

I am your host Roberta.

If you are looking to improve your communication skills, both professionally and personally, and improve yourself overall, this is the podcast you should be tuning into.

And by the end of this episode, please remember to subscribe, give a rating and a review.

Today, I am joined by my long lost friend, Alex Quinn, hailing all the way down under from Australia.

She is a PGI consultant, which stands for Proctor Gallagher Institute.

She is the CEO of Dream Warriors Coaching and is a mindset coach for entrepreneurs.

She's here to talk to us today about, listen to this, did you know that there was more than one law of the universe?

Of course, a lot of us thought that only the law of attraction from The Secret is the law of the universe, but Alex has so much more to uncover in that field.

And before I go any further, please help me welcome her to the show.

Hey, Alex.

Hello, hello everybody.

Good to be on here.

Thank you so much, Roberta, for inviting me to be on your show.

It's such honor to be here.

Thank you.

It's so wonderful to have you here.

The first time that I saw you, you were making a video about the laws of the universe and a lot of us only think, oh, only law of attraction, only law of attraction, but we'll get back to that later.

So please tell us just a little bit about yourself.

I am Alex and I'm from Sydney, Australia.

I have two kids and I have a husband.

I have my own business and my husband has his own business.

I've been in Australia for the last probably 16 years, but I was born and raised in China in a very small town where I was taken away from my parents when I was two year old.

That was kind of a normal in China where your parents have to go to a different cities to earn money and they send the money back home to grandparents and they look after the grandkids.

I was outside of the country in a very small town, live with my uncle, auntie and my second cousins.

So we were very poor at the time.

We were so poor that we have two bedrooms, right?

So one bedroom just big enough to fit a double bed.

And there are five people sleep on that bed.

Like my grandma, grandpa, my two other cousins, second cousin and myself.

And then my uncle and auntie, they have a smaller bedrooms upstairs and then the kitchen is in between.

And then there's a livestock right next to our window.

So I was smelling the pig and chicken.

So that was the condition I was brought up in.

I make myself believe that I was not good enough to live with my parents.

And I lived under someone else's roof.

So I was always secondary.

I need to please them so that I can be good enough to have dinner so I can be good enough to see my parents when they come to visit.

So that was so ingrained in my heart that I was not good enough, money's not enough, and I'm always secondary.

I need to please others in order to survive.

And so that kind of subconscious belief system, I was not aware at the time, I just ingrained in me.

And as I grew up in China, that's why I try so hard to be a good girl at school, study hard, and I'm trying to prove myself to my parents that I'm worthy of it.

I'm good enough.

And so that actually pushed me to have a really good grade at schools, I was a good student, and I got into a university.

And you know, in China, it's so many people, 1.3 billion people, and trying to get to very few schools, there are not many universities available at the time.

I got into one of the before university that has accounting faculties.

So really at the top, but I only see disappointment from my father because he said I did not get into the Tsinghua University or Beijing University, which is the Stanford equivalent or Cambridge equivalent.

I shame my family because I did not get into the top universities in China.

And so I carry that.

And then I got into PWC when I, before I graduated, got an offer from PWC.

Oh wow.

Yes, and other people are still looking for jobs and all that.

I should be proud of myself, but again, I was trying to prove myself.

I was like, only if I can make it, I still feel I'm not good enough.

And I still try, I work extra hours.

I worked 75 to 80 hours a week.

And that led me into a burnout.

One day I just could not wake up.

I could not.

I just so sick.

And I thought I was dying.

I thought I was dying.

And I started to think, this is not my life.

I know there's something else out in the world.

And that inspired me to go on a complex immigration process to apply a citizen visa to Australia.

Because I thought, if I could change my country, maybe my life will be different.

A lot of us think if we moved, which sometimes, to be fair, sometimes it does work for a fresh start.

But wherever you go, there you are.

So you can move to a new city, new state, new country, but whatever you still are inside is with you.

Yes.

The subconscious programming did not change.

Even you change the external circumstances, if the internal paradigm or the subconscious program did not change, you can only attract what you are in harmony with.

Even now I came to Australia, it took me first six months to find my first job as a new immigrant.

It was a really good effort to find your first job in the sixth month, especially I wasn't even speaking English at the time.

Wow.

I was learning it, but I was nowhere fluent to be at a communication level.

So I have to overcome that and also have to learn the culture in Australia and also have to pick up the degrees, my master degrees in accounting at the time as well.

There's lots going on and it took me first six months to find my first job.

And I thought, wow, now maybe my life can be different.

Right.

So now I have a job in Australia and income starts coming in.

Maybe my life will be different.

But the subconscious programming did not change.

I still feel as an immigrant in Australia, I was not enough.

I was not good enough.

So again, I followed the same pattern of working hard and trying to please my boss.

I put in extra hours and I think I don't know enough.

So I study harder on my master degrees.

And I at the same time enrol for a CPA to be certified in Australia because the Australia accounting system is different to the Chinese accounting system.

So I need to start over again.

And so I was trying to do all the things all together.

So you see how hard I was trying to work myself.

And still not.

It's because deep subconsciously, I felt as an immigrant, I was not good enough.

I do not know enough and I need to prove myself and all that subconscious programming did not change.

Here's my question, because this not being good enough and needing to please started as a child, you were technically with your family.

Yes, your mom and dad were in the city, but your grandma and your cousins, that's family.

Did they make you feel you're not good enough or it's something you decided to just have as part of your inner dialogue and say, you know, if my mom and dad are not here.

Yes.

So that is the story that I've been telling myself as a result of that condition.

I make the meaning.

No one else can make the meaning for you.

Only you can make the meaning of that situation.

And I just make the meaning of that I'm not good enough, that I can't even see my parents, I'm not good enough, I'm secondary.

Well, the money is not enough.

That's the fact.

So yes, so a lot of self-talk brought me to that belief and then over and over through repetition, ingrained in my subconscious.

And you become a grown up who relives it just in different circumstances, but the tape playing at the back of your mind is the same.

Exactly.

It just keeps broadcasting from the subconscious without your conscious awareness.

And then that got me into burnout again.

I was working so hard and I just like, I could not continue that and I just have to take a step back.

Well, maybe it's I was in an audit.

Auditors work really hard.

So maybe because of my career as an auditor, look at the people working in the bank, Alex, as I said to myself, look at the people in the bank and they have work-life balance.

You know, they have a stable paycheck.

See all the people get into that bank, never leave them.

And so maybe if I change my company and change my career, the external again, my life would be different.

I will be happier and easier and feeling good again.

I work hard and I work for ANZ and work for Westpac.

Those are the big banks in Australia.

Westpac is one of the employee choice of Australia.

So pretty much means the people voted to be the best employee.

So the people there, they have really good culture.

They really encourage work-life balance.

They look after their employees and people work in Westpac really don't want to leave that company at all.

And when I got into that, I was like, oh, I achieved my goal.

I now achieved the dream for my parents because that's their dream for me.

They want me to get good grades at school, go to university, find a stable job, work for a bank, have a stable paycheck, get married, have kids.

And that's the end of your life.

You're all set.

So I finally achieved my parents dream for me to work in a bank, have stable paycheck.

And now I got married.

I have two kids.

I achieved their goal.

I should be feeling so happy about myself.

But no, a subconscious program is still running and broadcasting without my conscious awareness.

Now I again, I missed three funerals during COVID.

One was my husband's grandpa's funeral.

I could not see him off because he passed away during my reporting period.

We were planning to see him off on a Thursday.

And my reporting deadline was on Friday.

I couldn't see him before then because there's so much work leading up to the deadline.

And he passed away on the Thursday.

We couldn't see him to say farewell.

And then was during COVID, my husband's grandma passed away and she was in palliative care.

And it was in my month end.

Another deadline, but as accountant, I've been having so many month ends.

As long as I stay as accountant, I will have many more month ends to come.

But I will not have that opportunity to say goodbye to her when she's in palliative care.

I got in trouble with my boss at the time.

He was really upset for me to take a few days off to see her at the palliative care.

And that really hurt me.

And also that reminded me every single month end, if my kids were sick, I could not take time off.

I have to put a little bed next to my desk, my home office.

And so they just lying there and sleep next to me while I'm closing my month end.

And then I missed not the funeral but to see Uncle John, who is my husband's uncle.

He passed away from skin cancer at the age of 60.

Yes, so young, at the age of 60, right?

Auntie notified us that, well, John didn't have much time left.

And you guys better come and arrange your time to see him and to say farewell.

And so we look at our calendar.

The only time we were free, it was Easter weekend.

But then two weeks before Easter, he was deteriorated so badly.

We got a message from Auntie and say, well, John doesn't want to see anybody else.

He doesn't want anybody to see him in that shape.

So then we missed a lot of opportunities to say goodbye.

Yes, so that really hit me.

The last straw on the camel was when I was in his funeral on the day during the COVID time.

There were 200 people in the room celebrating his life.

Those are the people who were able to make it during the COVID time.

And many, many more could not because there's a limitation, there's a restriction.

Yes, when there was lockdowns and how many people can be in one room.

Yes, my imagination immediately took me to my own funeral.

And I just like, oh my God, on my funeral, how many people would come?

And I can only see just my immediate family.

I better have time for my loved ones.

Better have time for my immediate family, extended family, other people, friendship that I wanted to cultivate.

So I would just feel so sad seeing just my immediate family.

I was so sad.

And then that led me into a self-discovery journey to see, who am I?

What am I here?

What do I really want?

What's my purpose?

Somehow it led me to Bob Proctor.

And I resonated so deeply of what he said.

OK, can you just give our listeners a quick introduction?

Let's pretend anybody hasn't seen The Secret.

Who is Bob Proctor?

Right.

Bob Proctor, he is a self-made billionaire.

He is a master of human potential.

He was featured in the movie The Secret and also the movie The Think and Grow Rich.

He studied human potential for 60 years, but he didn't start as a billionaire.

He started as a shy and broke fellow, dropped out of high school after two months.

At the time, he was only earning $4,000, but he owed $6,000 to others, and he was just so scared of all the creditors chasing him for the money.

And he was like, how could I get this creditor off my back?

Sounds familiar, doesn't it?

It's not because I'm not honest, but I just could not make it.

Like, he's only earning $4,000, he owed $6,000.

He just could not.

His mentor introduced him to read The Think and Grow Rich when he was age 26, and he started to read that book, and somehow it got him to start thinking about money.

And he started to write a gold card about, I wanted to earn $24,000 a year.

At the time, $24,000 was like millions.

I mean, the fact that $4,000 was the regular wage per year, so $24,000 must have been a stretch in his mind, yeah.

Absolutely.

When he started to read The Think and Grow Rich and started to implement it, and something started to change within him, and he started to think about money.

And then he heard someone say, you can earn a lot of money if you clean the floors.

And he said, I wasn't very proud of being a cleaner, but to do whatever it takes.

And then he started a cleaning company.

He was cleaning company in Toronto, Montreal, and Clinton, UK, London, all over the world.

And that took him to over a million dollars a year in revenue over just a very short amount of time.

From there, he just keep growing and growing.

He changed different business.

He ended up working for Earl Nightingale.

And then he become the guru in the personal development space and become a master of human potential.

He passed away at age of 87, 2022.

Yes, just last year.

Now, a lot of us know him from The Secret.

And as I said earlier, The Secret only said there's the law of attraction, attraction, attraction, attraction.

When I first met you, you say there are so many other laws of the universe.

Would you like to take us through those briefly?

Yeah, absolutely.

Before I go to that, I just tie back the loop of my story before.

But what he said was that so many people play so safe in their life that they tiptoe through their life and hope they safely make it to death.

Oh my goodness, that sounds painful.

Right, we all just want to play safe.

Why don't do that?

That's going to hurt you.

Don't take the risk.

We limit ourselves.

We play so safe and we're going to have a birthday and we're definitely going to have a death day.

We have very limited time between our birthday and our death day to make a real difference in this world.

That is all in your hands.

What you wanted to make out of your life.

So that really starts to make me think, wow, I was the one who played so safe and tiptoed through my life and hoped to make it to death.

I'm dying one day anyway.

We all are.

Why I play so safe.

And that got me into becoming a PGI consultant because I learned the skills that I can change my subconscious programming and also learn the skills that I can change people's paradigm.

And I can help them to really take the leap into living a life they really love.

So that is where I am today.

So go back to the law of attraction.

So law of attraction, really well known because of the movie The Secret.

Well, what the movie The Secret didn't talk about is the law of vibration.

And that is actually fundamental law.

Law of vibration states that nothing stays still, everything vibrates.

So even this pen in my hand, it looks not vibrating, but it actually vibrates at such a slow rate that our human eyes cannot see, but it's actually vibrating.

So everything is vibrating and nothing stays still.

The rate that we are vibrating on is called frequencies, right?

So that frequency will set the tone of what you can attract.

So you can only attract what you are in harmony with.

So how do you control your vibration?

So your thinking dictate how you feel.

How you feel that will dictate the vibration that you are on.

Because we know that we are made out of cells, right?

Our cells are all liquid.

So we are actually a massive energy because we are human beings.

And we vibrate at a very high rate.

And our thoughts are very powerful source of energy, our thoughts and then dictate our feelings.

And that dictate what rate we are vibrating on.

And that does not end with our skin.

It will go radiate out in the universe and it connect.

We are all in this oneness, this wholeness, this oneness of conscious mind that connect each and every one of us.

And that vibration gets sent out to the universe.

And you can only attract what you are in harmony with.

So if I'm on a higher vibration, in love, in peace, in gratitude, you will attract more things to be thankful for.

But for somebody who in a struggle state, like I'm really struggling, I don't know how to make it work, or really angry all the time, anger has a very low vibration, shame has a very low vibration.

And if they carry that emotion in them subconsciously, like I was, I can only attract what I was in harmony with, more things that make me struggle.

Here's my question.

This is interesting.

If you think I don't want to be poor anymore, I don't want to be broke anymore, but then you become more broke.

So why is the universe in this subconscious connection you're talking about not then putting a billion dollars in my bank account because I just told my thoughts, I don't want to be broke.

Why does it keep repeating what I said I don't want?

I love that question.

Yes.

So the subconscious mind cannot tell what you do not want.

It just takes the order of whatever you say.

So when you say I don't want to be broke, the subconscious pickup is broke.

And also you are actually embedding that more deeper in your subconscious.

I don't want to be broke.

I don't want to have more debts.

And that only will attract you more debts and be more broke because that you telling subconscious debts and broke and debts and broke.

And also.

So if I say that, are you saying that my vibration with that is low?

Yes, because it's coming from a place of lack.

But I'm visualizing money in my bank account.

Isn't that higher vibration?

That is a conscious awareness.

And it's different to your subconscious programming.

So as long as we do not internalize it, get emotionally involved in the abundance in the wealth, then you can only attract what your subconscious programming, which is dictate your feeling and that dictate your vibration.

And that's what attract what you're in harmony with.

So how do I change that?

Because it looks like the subconscious programming is so much more powerful than me.

Doing my affirmations every morning.

I am wealthy.

I am healthy.

I am grateful.

And how do I then rewrite what's in there so that it works for me?

So there's a process that we teach in our program to help our clients to ingrain and teach them a skill to reprogram their subconscious mind.

So there's two ways that you can change your paradigm.

What we call it is a habitual multitude of habit that was stored in our subconscious mind.

It's all habits, right?

Habitual way of thinking.

So we call it paradigm.

So there's a two way that you can change paradigm.

One is from space repetition.

You do it over and over again, right?

And number two is from emotional impact, like usually 9-11, someone's death, right?

And that gives you a little punch.

So for me, was that all build up and that was an emotional impact, just go, I don't want this anymore.

But you don't have to go through those negative emotional impact to change your paradigm, right?

So you can actually consciously to reprogram your subconscious mind.

So we go through our day, only 2 to 4% of our day are conscious, 96 to 98% of our day are subconscious, like you tie up your shoelaces.

You don't even need to consciously think, I need to do this, how I put my finger, how do I do this place.

I hope not, especially when you're a grown up.

Right, that is subconscious.

You just tie the way that you always tie it.

But remember that we didn't get there automatically.

When we were little, we learned how to consciously, we need to do this.

And so we actually using our conscious and over and over again and build it into our subconscious.

And then we start to tie without conscious thinking, we just tie our shoelaces this way.

Does that then increase that vibration you were talking about?

If you start to feed consciously the I am healthy, I am enough, which you didn't feel, is that then the vibration part kicking in?

Yes.

So like it take time, really nothing's going to happen if you're not emotionally involved.

Emotion.

When we say emotion is actually emotion, E stands for the energy in motion, right?

So it's energy in motion is that vibration dancing out and that attracts.

If you're not emotionally involved, it doesn't get into your body.

It will not do anything with the affirmation that you're using.

But until you actually start to fall in love with the vision, you start to fall in love that I am healthy, I am wealthy, and then things start to move and change, right?

But still, that is one part of the puzzle.

And there's still part of the puzzle, like you overcome fears, right?

You probably bang into fear as long as you do not understand why and how fear occur and how do you overcome the fears.

You're not going to take the action that you need to take to create the result that you want.

So there's lots of little different pieces of puzzle that we need to put together in order for you to create the quantum leaps in your business or in your life.

It's not just one thing of affirmation.

People say, I do affirmation.

Why does it not work?

That's why people are starting to lose faith, as I said, because it looks like The Secret, the movie only emphasize the one attraction part and affirmations and people did that and they feel let down.

Yes.

And also you got to understand the law of polarity, how to apply the law of polarity because law of polarity states that everything have an equal opposite.

There's no hot, there's no cold, there's no cold, there's no hot, there's no inside, there's no outside, there's no up, there's no down.

So everything has an equal opposite.

How do you use these laws to bring your vision into the reality?

No one teaches about these laws in school or any place.

For example, if I drop this pen, what's going to happen?

It falls to the ground, gravity.

Exactly.

Why 100% drop on the ground?

There are two things.

One is the invisible law of gravity in place.

So if there's no gravity, then this pen will be flying around.

Number two, if I did not physically release this pen, it's not going to drop.

So it got to have two criteria met at the same time.

Number one, is this invisible law that governs this universe, is called law of gravity in this case.

And number two, I physically release the pen.

And that two criteria co-exist, then you create a definite result, this pen fall to the ground.

So the same thing happened.

The results created in a certain way, one is governed by these invisible laws, and not just one law, the multiple law, law of rhythm, right?

The law of assumption, the law of thinking, whole lot of law behind it, and that govern the whole universe.

You got to understand and work with the law.

And number two, you got to take the physical action.

It has to be two co-exist at the same time to have a definite result.

When we combine these two, that's how my clients being able to turn the annual income into monthly income and turn their monthly income into weekly income because we embed these walls into our habitual way of thinking and being.

And then we take the action from that place.

It has to happen.

Because they've placed themselves in a position where the mind, the subconscious mind, is in harmony with the laws.

And so they attract what they desire.

Yes.

So it got to work in harmony with the laws.

So we actually not just understanding the laws, but applying the laws, how to use that laws in different situations.

When you encounter a setback, how do you use these laws to transform a setback into an opportunity, into something that you can go for?

Also, it's also your awareness.

What we say is notice what you're noticing.

Notice what you're thinking.

Notice your feeling.

A lot of time we do not...

But we're so busy, Alex.

Do we really have time for that?

You cannot afford not to aware of that.

It only takes a second of thinking to aware of that, right?

But we're just so busy with our mind.

If it's not living in the future, why stress is created?

Because we were constantly thinking, I need to do this, I need to do that.

Oh my gosh, if I don't do that, this is the consequence.

My clients will be yelling at me.

You are living in the future.

You're not living in the moment, right?

So you keep thinking and then that creates stress because you are in the future.

Oh, I'm not there yet.

Oh, I wish I could be there.

And that creates the stress.

Another case is sometimes we live in the past that we cannot change.

Remember last time you failed.

You know, last time you make a wrong decision.

And then sometimes we have finished the day, but you have an argument at work or you have an argument with a colleague and that's already gone.

You come home at night, you are washing the dish.

And do you notice in your mind, you still replay...

Going from the argument.

The argument in your head.

You're really aware of what's going on in your thinking.

But we're not aware of that because our mind's job is just have so many ideas coming in.

What do you entertain?

Which idea do you entertain?

Do you want the argument going around in your head?

If you don't want to create more of that argument and the conflicts, change the thoughts.

Think about you having a great time in your mind and that will come into your reality.

My last question before you go.

If anybody's listening and they think, okay, I'm starting to have a glimpse of what these laws are and how I can use them for my benefit, what is it they can do to say, how do I now work with these laws?

What's the one piece of advice you can give them?

So the one piece of advice I can give to them is live in the present moment.

Now, there's two things that you can do immediately.

Number one is called notice what you're noticing.

Start to notice, oh, I'm feeling angry.

Oh, I'm feeling this volcano bubbling up inside of me.

Oh, I was playing this fight in my mind.

I'm disappointed.

Oh, I'm feeling sad.

Start to notice what you're noticing.

Start when you notice your feeling, I'm feeling angry.

Start to ask the question, what am I thinking that made me feel angry?

What made me think that made me feel sad?

Well, my integrity was hurt because someone was telling something not true to myself, right?

So then you start to think, oh, that is the thought.

That's the one that I'm feeling angry because my integrity being attacked.

It's not aligned with my integrity.

And then when you start notice what you're noticing, then you can transform that.

If you don't even know what you're noticing, what you're thinking, you cannot transform that.

And then when you start to notice, oh, I'm having a fight in my mind.

Yeah, take three deep breaths, breathe in and breathe out through your mouth, like blowing through a straw and take three deep breaths.

That's going to bring you right back to the moment.

You start to think, notice that I'm actually not physically fighting with that person.

The fight happening in my mind.

I'm creating that in my mind.

It's not happening.

I'm here.

I'm breathing.

I'm safe.

And so that will start to bring you back to the center and bring you back to notice what you're noticing.

When you notice noticing, when you take that breath instantly, because the long breath is going to calm your mind down, it will start to say, I'm safe to keep you on a higher vibration.

And that instantly you change that vibration.

Notice what you are noticing and how it makes you feel.

Words of wisdom from Alex Quinn, all the way from Australia, PGI consultant, CEO and founder of Dream Warriors Coaching.

Alex, always a pleasure to talk to you.

Thank you very much for being on the show today.

Thank you so much, Roberta, for having me.

And I hope your audience find this valuable.

And please leave some comments.

And if you have any questions, put it in the chat so that I can answer for you.

And I would love to connect with you guys.

Thank you so much, Roberta, again, for having me here.

Thank you.

Always a pleasure, my friend.

And before you go so that they connect with you, what is your social media handles, your interwebs, URLs?

Give us all of that.

So my website is www.dreamwarriorscoaching.com.au.

So you can find out more information there.

And you can join my Facebook group.

It's called Successful Entrepreneur Mindset for Dream Warriors.

So I would love to connect with you.

I'm going to drop the handles here.

I'm going to write them on the show notes when we release the episode.

So dreamwarriorscoaching.com.au.

Thank you, my friend.

So glad to always talk to you.

Lots of blessings to you and to the audiences.

And so love to be here sending you lots of love, sending you good thoughts and good vibes.

Have fantastic days.

Thank you.

Lots of love to you too.

Don't forget to subscribe, give a rating and a review, and we'll be with you next time.