Speaking and Communicating Podcast

Welcome back to the Speaking and Communicating podcast. I am your host Roberta. If you are looking to improve your communication skills, both professionally and personally, and are looking to improve yourself overall, this is the podcast you should be tuning into. And by the end of this episode, please remember to subscribe, give a rating and a review. Today, you will hear about all the transformational techniques that will change your life.
00:28
from the Mind Detective herself. Her name is Michele Molitor. She is a coach, hypnotherapist, and she's here to show you how to overcome self-doubt and so many more things that you can do in order to create the life that you've always desired. And before I go any further, please help me welcome Michele to the show. Hello. Hello, Roberta. Thank you so much for having me. It's a pleasure to be here with you.
00:56
Thank you for joining us today, Mind Detective. I like that title actually. Yes, I do too. So give us a little bit of your background. Where in the US are you based? I'm in the San Francisco Bay area, just south of the city over here in the East Bay. And it's been a beautiful experience living here. I've been out here for 22 years. Actually originally came to San Francisco. I used to be a creative director in web development in my former career.
01:25
And the company I worked for, I was building out my creative team and hired two gentlemen who made it very clear that they didn't like working for a woman. Essentially, I got bullied out of my job and it destroyed my confidence and left me kind of in a puddle on the floor. And it created a massive case of imposter syndrome for me and helped me discover coaching to figure out what I wanted to do next in life.
01:54
in the process of being coached to figure out those next steps and how do I recover, I found my true calling and purpose. So I went on to get trained and certified and started my company Nectar Consulting back in 2001 and have been doing it ever since. Wow. So first of all, before we talk about the coaching, it's actually said that you had two males actually saying that
02:23
Does the self-doubt creep in and you forget that I'm actually skilled? I know this. I don't care what they say. Oh, do we just jump into the, maybe I'm really not cut out for this zone. Well, in my case, I was in a new job in a new place in a new city without a lot of friends, I didn't have a lot of support structures. I was in charge of this whole department, right? You get on the block. And so.
02:51
I already had some nervousness and trepidation going on and it's like they found the chink in my armor and just kept poking at it and poking at it and poking at it and doing a lot of inappropriate things that unraveled my confidence. And it led to me getting fired eventually. Was devastating because it just, it was like all my fears came to life. All my own worry.
03:19
And so it amplified everything. And I was honestly terrified of handing my resume to anyone at that point. So I was really grateful to discover this new thing called coaching. And really helped me start to sort out what was really important for me and what really mattered and how to start making my way back out into the world with greater confidence again. Do you think that people trigger what's already in us?
03:47
or they just plant a seed and we go with it? Oh, I believe it's nine times out of 10, it's just triggering an old wound. The beliefs that we adopt as kids, right? The information that we've received as children about who we are and how we belong or don't belong, are we good enough, are we not good enough, are we worthy, not worthy, all of that messaging is received when we're children, whether it's from our parents or siblings.
04:16
a teacher and those negative messages, they can very easily stick. They stick to your subconscious. And then as children, we don't have the mental capacity yet to discern, well, that's not true. Of course I'm worthy. Of course I'm enough. We don't know. Our parents said it. It must be true. And so that then starts building and growing and then our conscious mind starts looking for evidence to support those beliefs. So as adults,
04:46
when someone finds that button and pushes it, it's like, oh, we're thrown back actually into the past, back into our history of when we first experienced that traumatic event or it might not even been traumatic, it just might've been something that happened, but it left that wound on your heart. Our subconscious mind goes, oh, okay, right? It's actually your amygdala.
05:14
which is your fight, flight or freeze mechanism in your brain, right? To keep you safe. I call her Amy. Amy's your amygdala. She likes to protect you and keep you safe, right? But if you haven't upgraded Amy's belief systems, she's operating on an old set of operating instructions. So you think about how often do we upgrade our phones, but how often do we upgrade our thinking? So we've got all this old thinking we're operating on and somebody comes along and finds the button.
05:44
And then you're like, whoa, I'm six again, but we don't realize it. Is that why they say when you had that traumatic experience and it stuck to your brain or your subconscious mind, in that aspect, you are still six years old, even though you're grown up? Yes, you were emotionally caught in that moment at that age when you took on that belief, right? Whether it's six or 10 or 20, whatever it is.
06:13
we don't consciously flash back to the event, but our nervous system is wired by that event and creates that knee jerk reaction. And so as adults, our job is to become more emotionally self-aware of those old beliefs, so you can start to change them.
06:38
and rewire them, not only in your neural pathways, but in your nervous system as well. Okay, so then coming to your work, so you started as a coach 20 years ago, but the hypnotherapy itself, you started six years ago. Yes, I added that into my repertoire after.
06:59
I discovered it for myself, right? I'm always peeling off layers. I'm a learning junkie. And so I'm like, can I have another workshop? Can I read another book? And I discovered this particular modality called rapid transformational therapy or RTT. And it was so powerful and transformative for me in a matter of weeks, moving old blocks out of the way. I was like, okay, you got my attention, right? And the person who founded it,
07:27
she had just started training people in this modality. So I went on to get trained and certified. Yeah. And so I've incorporated it with my coaching because the two supercharged, I call it an inside out conscious unconscious approach. Your conscious mind is 10% of your brain. Your subconscious is 90% of your brain. And so when you can access the blocks, the limiting beliefs, the emotional charges in the subconscious, then
07:56
you can replace them and then consciously focus on new goals and habits that you want to create based on these new foundations versus trying to work from old outdated mind maps. Which then leads to your life being the exact same way for the next 10 years and you wonder why. Right, if you're always operating off the old belief systems, even though your conscious mind says I am enough, I am worthy,
08:26
But if you're not replacing it at this deeper level, your subconscious mind is always going to win because it has that much more brain power, if you will. Right, and it doesn't disagree with you. Is that why people that are MNF, I'm gonna win, I'm the best, you pay thousands for seminars, like you said, you're a learning junkie, you're always going to the next seminar, but things don't change, the habits, the choices we make, we're still driven by fear.
08:55
Yes, yes. That's why I love what I do, Roberta, because it enables me to get at those deeper levels and create those changes, because your brain likes repetition. So part of the tools that I create for each client individually is a customized recording with these new empowering beliefs, thoughts, and habits based on all of our conversations together.
09:21
and they listen to it as they drift off to sleep at night. It's very relaxing, it has binaural beat music mixed in with it, and your subconscious is always listening. So by listening to it every night over 30 days, you're literally telling your brain over and over and over again, I am enough, I am worthy, I am deserving, I can create my success. Whatever those words are that need to be for you, and the repetition of that is what builds new neural pathways in your brain.
09:51
So just like listening to a song on the radio over and over again, you remember the words. And then you know the lyrics. Right, you know the words 20 years later. So it's the same thing, but you're doing it in a way that really supports your best interests and your growth. Of course I'm enough, I've always been enough. Why would I not think that? Right? And so in a very short period of time, clients will be like, what was that thing I was so worried about? Like it literally starts to disappear from their consciousness.
10:21
Hmm. Yes. Can I ask you to emphasize this? You cannot do a 10 day, 21 day repetition exercise and expect it to suddenly change for, I'm 46, 45 years of limiting beliefs going in every day. It should take longer than that. Cause I think people quickly give up thinking, oh, but it says 21 days things are going to change. I was listening to this YouTube video and
10:50
Nothing changed. I'm still believing what I'm believing. You've been feeding it for 45 years. It's not gonna be fixed in 21 days. Well, I'm gonna give you a yes and. Oh, okay. Okay? Right? Because there are times when I've had clients, when we get at the root cause and they see from their adult self, the belief they created as a child self that is no longer valid, I've seen things turn off.
11:20
immediately. Immediately. So it doesn't always take 21 days. Sometimes it takes more. Sometimes it takes less. It depends on how you're getting at it. So true story, one of my favorite clients, she came to me suffering from chronic IBS, inflammatory bowel syndrome for 15 years. She had had it ever since high school. And so in the work together, we got at the root cause, which was in high school, she was a basketball player.
11:50
And her dad was the coach. And so no matter how well she played, every time after the game, driving home, he would berate her. He would tell her, you're the crap, you're shitty. I can't believe how shitty you played. And she embodied that, believing she wasn't good enough, she wasn't worthy. And her physical body took that on and created this anxious gut all of the time. So...
12:18
not only did it create IBS in her system, it created this level of anxiety in her. She was very fearful. She didn't wanna drive very far, so many levels. And within one hypnotherapy session, we were able to turn off the IBS, turn it off completely, hasn't come back. And she reached out to me recently to do some more work with me because after having her child,
12:48
Two years ago, she's had this level of anxiety, not impacting her gut. Not this one. Not this one, but just a different level of anxiety that created a fear of going too far with her daughter. She had a lot of what ifs happening. Well, what if, what if, what if, what if. Just recently on one of our coaching sessions, she said to me, for the first time in two years, I feel completely at peace and calm in my body. And I'm just like,
13:18
Oh, it just makes my heart smile. Mission accomplished. Transformation indeed, yeah. Yeah, yeah. So not everybody's like that, right? But this work creates powerful shifts for people. I could go on and on with stories all day about the powerful mental, emotional, physical shifts that people have experienced. Is it because she was, you know when you've reached a further point,
13:48
I am so tired of not feeling enough for the last 15 years. When they come to you, do you find that every client is so ready to just open all the floodgates and say, Michelle, please help me. I need all of this to go away. Or some still have that holding back. I'm not sure, you know, cause sometimes people think hypnotherapy means that they're not in control, they're afraid to look. Yeah. And that's a misnomer. That is not true. My friends, basically.
14:15
Hypnosis is, we're just taking you into an alpha brainwave state. It's that half a week, half a sleep place. You actually go into hypnosis on a regular basis, like when you're first waking up, when you're first going to sleep, when you've ever driven the car from your house to the store and you're thinking about 14 other things in your car still magically arrives, right? That's an alpha brainwave state. Right. And so to answer your question.
14:40
A lot of the clients who come to me are like, please help me. I've tried everything else. I don't know what to do. Right. I had one client who came to me with an eating disorder and she was very angry. She was very standoffish. She's like, show me what you've got lady. Right. Oh, I'm going to prove you wrong. Right. Exactly. She was very, she's like, I've been to workshops. I've been to retreats. I've tried this. I've tried that. I've been dealing with this since I was 16 and she's 50.
15:09
I'll try anything. I was like, okay, great. And so she finally said yes, and we worked together for just 30 days. And I have this beautiful note that hangs on my wall from her. And it says, the mind is everything what you think you become. And inside she wrote, even though our time together was short, you've had such a significant impact on my life. I'm forever grateful. Thank you. Wow. And she,
15:38
stopped the late night binge eating of pies. She dropped a dress size and just felt so much better about herself because she was able to see with her 16 year old self who was feeling so insecure that was creating those anxieties. So when we calmed that down, we eliminated that trigger point, her whole nervous system calmed down and it created a whole different version of her. And she's a very
16:08
powerful, high tech corporate executive. So on the outside, she looked like she had it all together. But on the inside, she had all this angst going on. And so we were able to calm all that down and just created a whole new version of life for her. I could bet that even at work, things have gotten way better as well, probably. Yeah. There are other clients who have come to me, I really, really wanna change this. And yet,
16:34
there's a deep level of resistance to change that has them not able to drop into that place, to not let themselves relax enough. And there are few and far between. In the six years and the hundreds and hundreds, thousands of people I've worked with, I've only had a handful of people that have had the level of resistance where they're like, no, like, okay.
17:02
And there's only so much I can do. And so in those cases, it's like, okay, you might wanna consider going back to seeing your psychotherapist for a bit, right? To get at some of those deeper level demons as I had one client call them, and then come back to me. So I'm not the right person for everyone, but I can be helpful in a lot of ways to a lot of people. So the person must be willing to say, I'm ready to let this baggage go. Yes.
17:32
Yes. So walk us through your coaching program. Sure. I call it rapid rewiring. It's a typically in three months, three to six months, I work with clients and we have a series of coaching and hypnotherapy sessions. So basically weekly calls, toggling between the two. So over 90 days, we'll have four hypnotherapy sessions and 10 coaching sessions.
17:59
The hypnotherapy allows us to access the deeper level subconscious beliefs. And with each one, they get a new customized recording that they listen to for the next 21 to 30 days, right? Depending. And then the coaching is there to help them unpack the shifts that are happening. That sometimes the changes are very subtle, and sometimes they're very quick, right? And so I've had clients who in our conversation recognize like, wow,
18:29
couldn't do that last year. And I just did this, this and this, like, wow, because it starts to, as I said earlier, it starts to disappear itself, I make sure that every client has a private online journal with question prompts to go into every day. Okay, you can notice, like we take some baseline measurements. And as they go through it, they get to notice the little tiny shifts, the big shifts that are happening for them. So by the time they get to the end, they can look back and go,
18:59
Wow. This is how far I've come. I went from here to here. Yeah. I went from being a 10 on the anxiety scale down to a two, right? Or whatever it is for them in particular. So it's really empowering work. And it's just so joyful for me to hear these stories as, you know, my clients come back to me and go, look what I did. I'm like, yes. Very fulfilling.
19:27
What does it mean to be unshakable? So through all the years of my research and study, I've identified five self-doubt archetypes. And it's these five self-doubt archetypes that are the underbelly of what we would call imposter syndrome, right? And my online program, How to Become Unshakable, takes you through identifying your
19:55
self-doubt archetypes, and then how do I release that from my system? How do I start to rewrite my own system and start to stand more fully in my confidence, asking for what I'm worth, speaking my truth, and allowing my expertise to really blossom to a whole new level? So over seven weeks, clients get...
20:23
Each week you get a new module and there's video and there's learning materials and there's hypnotherapy and coaching throughout it and tons and tons of support. So it's a really powerful course. I'm really proud of it. It's 20 years of coaching and hypnotherapy poured into it. So it's a knee in a box, so to speak. That's awesome. Yeah. Michelle in a box, you know how we talk about how things shake you.
20:48
meaning, you know, the wind is blowing this side, you get moved. You don't have a base, you know, a strong foundation to stand on. At those, the anxieties that we also develop from childhood, if we are always just moved by all the circumstances outside, whichever way the wind is blowing, and so we become, uh, shakeable. Yeah, that's a great way to put it. I like that analogy. If you're on moving sand, for example,
21:15
right? You're like, whoa, you can't quite find your footing. If you've had one, two, ten, it doesn't matter if you've had any level of traumatic experiences in your life, it can create that wobble and that lack of belief in yourself, that lack of self-love, self-trust, self-acceptance. And that's what creates the wobble. And so when you can start
21:45
the root causes of your self doubt, you can start to plant roots to become stronger and more grounded and believe in yourself more, trusting yourself more and owning your value and worth. Grounding with your roots obviously not gonna be shaken. I become unshakable. What are some of the myths that people have about hypnotherapy? What are they afraid of? Or what have they been made to believe, which is not necessarily true.
22:14
Well, my number one favorite myth is, no, I will not make you cluck like a chicken. Not gonna happen. People ask me that. I'm like, no, not even if you ask me, because that would be silly. No, there's no swinging watches or stirring teacups. None of that. All they're doing Roberta is listening to the sound of my voice as they go into a very, very relaxed state and over.
22:42
90 minutes, they go into this very, very relaxed place. They're always in control because in any moment, you can pop out of this alpha brainwave state because your mind and your body's always listening. I have some people who go really deep into hypnosis, other people who don't go very far at all, but your mind's always listening. So regardless of how deep and trance you might fall,
23:11
the impact is still the same. I know when I get taken into trance, into hypnotherapy, I go really deep. I can ask you questions when you're in a state of hypnosis and you're able to answer me, right? I know when I am in a state of hypnosis, it's oftentimes hard for me to talk because my mind is like, I can hear the question and I'm gonna get to that answer and then I drift off and I come back, right? But everybody's different, right? That's just me because I've trained myself.
23:40
over such a long period of time. Essentially, it's very safe. It's all based in science, right? It's not woo woo. It's not magic, although it's very magical sometimes. Especially if the results are magical. Yeah. Yes. Yes, exactly. And I geek out on neuroscience, right? Right. I love reading about how the brain works. It's just mind blowing.
24:06
The power of it all. The power of it all is astounding. The mind-body connection is super powerful. And so when you can learn how to take back your power from your fears, it's like you open up so much more possibility for yourself to create more of what you want and less of what you don't want. My mom was recently at a hypnotherapist at her very first.
24:32
And I'm here in Chicago and she's in South Africa. I said, mom, I want to hear about it when you come back. I think she said it lasted about 90 minutes to two hours. When she came back, she didn't call me. So the next day on my time zone, I wake up and I say, mom, I want to hear all about it, what happened? She said, when I came back yesterday, there's a level of tiredness she felt, but at the same time, like...
24:58
she felt like a release, like she needed to rest. And that's why she couldn't have a conversation with me and waited to sleep and talk to me the next day to say, and she said, I feel so light today, like something was taken off her shoulders. Yeah. That is a very common comment from clients because they are they're releasing. It's like,
25:23
If you've ever had an emotional incident and you weren't able to process it effectively in the moment, all that emotional baggage is stuck in your system. It's stuck in your cellular system. I call it emotional residue, right? So this process that helps you release the emotional residue that you no longer need, that's like, you feel light and free and a bit floaty. So I always...
25:50
remind clients at the end when they come back to full awareness, like, get some water, get a little food, get grounded back in your body. That's why I love doing it over Zoom because no one should be driving their car after having a no therapy session because you're like, wow, that was great. So it's very rejuvenating. And typically the first week or two after.
26:18
a hypnotherapy session, clients, I'm always checking in with them via email, via text, like how are you feeling today? What are you noticing? And some clients are like, wow, best 24 hours ever. Other clients are like, I've been crying for a week. What did you do? Or I slept for 12 hours a day. And I'm like, well, there's some processing, right, that you had to do. I had one client, lesser soul, realizing
26:48
that her father actually was in the mafia and living this double life. She knew, but she didn't know. And so when she was able to release all of that stuff, she's like, I would sleep 12, 14 hours a day. For several days, I was like, your body's been holding onto a lot. I've talked with so many people who have been through unimaginable experiences. And it's heartbreaking to me
27:18
humans do things like that to each other. It's really my joy and my honor to be able to help people release those old traumas from their system and be free from them finally. And then start to reprogram their thinking about who they are and how they belong in the world and watching them shine brighter and brighter, releasing anger and fear and worry and doubt and grief, so many layers.
27:46
Just dragging your life through all of that every day. Yeah, yeah. Like carrying a huge heavy backpack full of rocks. And then you're finally able to put it down and like, oh, I don't need that anymore. Oh, I can stand up straighter now and feel a little lighter and a little more pep in my step. Yeah, like my mom said, she felt a lot lighter the next day. When people come to you,
28:14
Do they always know why they feel the self doubt, why they have anxiety or does hypnotherapies sometimes help them identify that in the process or they always know that, okay, I know I have this problem. Yes, and yes. Sometimes, sometimes they know. Sometimes they don't know. They just know, I just have anxiety all the time and I don't know why I have anxiety all the time, but I'm really done with it. I really want to let it go.
28:43
and another client whose mother was always anxious and her solution to anything was to give her daughter a valium, here honey, this will make you feel better. That was her coping mechanism. And so together we were able to rewire her nervous system so that she didn't need that as a coping mechanism anymore. It became, let me go for a walk with my husband. And that calmness, that clarity
29:11
being present in the moments, right? And instead of numbing out with any number of addictions, whether it's volume or drugs or TV or sex or alcohol or shopping, so many people stuck on their phones. Instead of doing that, being more present, she did more business in the first six months of this year than she did all of last year. Just from hypnotherapy and changing, wow. Yep.
29:40
So she was able to just be more clear and then own her own value and worth and start shining her light tooting her horn a little bit more, you know, had a ripple effect, very powerful effect. Please give us some last words of wisdom. Sure. I always love to tell folks, rewire your brain, think new thoughts and your life will follow.
30:10
Think new thoughts and your life will follow. Words of wisdom from Michele Molitor. Thank you so much for sharing such wonderful transformational knowledge with us today. Thank you, my joy. So if we want to know where to find you so we can have our own Zoom hypnotherapy sessions with you, please give us all the details regarding that.
30:36
Sure. So you can always visit my website, michellmollitor.com. It's Michele with one L m-o-l-i-t-o-r.com. You can always book a complimentary and confidential discovery call with me. If you're curious to know more about how this work can help you transform your lives, LinkedIn, Facebook, Instagram under rapid rewire. Yeah, they'll find all sorts of informational stuff out
31:06
In the brain candy section, you'll find all sorts of free eBooks and low-cost master classes and all sorts of wonderful things there. Michele Molitor with1L.com. Yes. And all the other social as well. Thank you very much for being here today. I really enjoyed it. My pleasure. Thank you, Roberta. That was all for today from
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coach, hypnotherapist and transformational mind detective Michelle Molitor. Please remember to subscribe, give a rating and a review. Thank you very much.